Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto
It's a stupid idea. If you have high expectations for this fic, please go away. It saves me the trouble of reading flames or 'i hate u & ur stori' pms.
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Training.
"ACKK!!"
"Idiot! I told you to put more Chakra into it! Evenly level your feet as you step onto the water!!"
That's what Ebisu may have called it. Trying not to be BOILED alive in BOILING HOT water may have been training to him, but Uzumaki Naruto knew what it was to him.
"HOT! HOT! HOT!!"
A waste of his time.
"I said MORE not LESS!!" Ebisu barked to the submerged blonde.
Crawling out of the hot spring and resting flat on the cool dirt, Naruto shot his fist in the air with his middle finger stretched out.
"Fuck you!"
"Maybe if you concentrated more, you'd probably-"
"I think this is women's section! We made it!"
Naruto watched as Ebisu's face turn a dark red hue accompanied with a deep scowl. He turned to the fence dividing them and the women occupied in the hot springs. A lanky man, on the shoulders of a larger tanned man, looked over the fence cautiously.
"Pervert scoundrels," Ebisu crouched low. "I won't let such behavior go unpunished!"
Ebisu jumped towards the two with his fist back, ready to strike the tall and thin man and his companion. The skinny man back flipped off of the back of the other man. With his legs high up in the air, he landed effortlessly on his head.
"N-no way!" Naruto muttered to himself. He saw the guy more clearly now that he was facing his no…more like closet pervert's direction. The guy was lacking his upper limbs. "He has no arms!!"
Naruto watched as his temporary instructor punch the upside-down man's stomach. Instead of withering in pain, the man used his two feet to wrap around Ebisu's head, spinning himself and Ebisu with him.
'T-this technique!! Its-'
Naruto watched as in awe as the man carelessly let go of Ebisu as his continued spinning, flinging the man over the…fence. The other two men, too, flinched in fear as they saw Ebisu fly right into the women's section. A chorus of angry cries came from the other side.
"OH MY GAWD!!"
"It's that perv, Ebisu!!"
"M-Mitarashi-san?! What a pleasant surprise-"
A sickening crunch filled the air with a high-pitched scream.
"Oh shit…" the thin man turned to Naruto. "C'mon kid, we got to get the hell out of here!!"
Naruto nodded frantically as he pushed himself off the ground, following the two men out of the area.
--
"So that guy, Ebesu?" Naruto corrected him. "Ah! Okay. So Ebisu was training you for those Chunin Exams and what not?" the lanky man asked.
Naruto had led the two men from to Ichiraku's. He knew staying to close to the hot springs was dangerous, plus he was starving!
"Yeah, but he was sorta a pansy, wasn't teaching me anything good." Naruto said somberly. He glared at the empty ramen bowl in front of him, cursing its lack of contents. "I really need some hardcore training, ya know?! I gotta kick that Hyuuga bastard's ass!!"
The duo looked at Naruto passively. The tanned man shrugged continuing to eat his own bowl of ramen. The lanky man cursed his lack of fingers and shoved his face into his bowl. Naruto eyed armless man.
"You know…you guys sort of are in my debt now." The two stopped and looked at the blonde; broth dripping off of one of their faces. Naruto continued, "You threw my sensei over to a pack of naked women; ANGRY, BLOODTHIRSTY, NINJA women. So you do sort of owe me."
The two winced at every word the boy had said. It was pretty harsh to throw a fellow man to his doom…maybe he died happy after seeing all those beautiful women…or maybe that painful beating ruined it all for Ebisu.
The lanky man hastily rose from his seat along with his companion. The tanned man left money on the table as the left towards the street. Naruto ran after them.
"Hey! What up!" Naruto yelled. He quickly caught up with them, noticing the way they walked…
Wasn't that called strutting?
They dismissed his presence and continued as if he wasn't there.
"Look kid. As you've noticed, we aren't really the ninja type and I sorta lack arms…" Naruto snorted.
"Don't act innocent! I saw how you defeated Ebisu! Single hand-" The man scowled. "I-I mean without any fancy jutsu or nothing!"
"I can't teach you that, kid. You ain't ready for that sorta stuff. You need the dedication and experience for that sort of technique!"
Naruto ran in front of the two, stopping their stylish pace.
"Then teach it to me!"
The lanky man met Naruto's burning blue eyes. His scowl deepened.
"What did you say your name was, kid?"
His companion moaned; his friend was an idiot at times…
"It's Uzumaki Naruto, not 'kid'!"
The man smiled.
"That's a nice name…" Naruto beamed.
"D-Does that mean-?!"
"Good luck on that tournament!" The man turned the other direction with his friend following him.
"HEY!! YOU BASTARD!! COME BACK!!"
--
"H-He's still following us…isn't he?" the armless man asked.
His large tan skinned companion nodded tiredly. Naruto had followed them throughout Konoha the entire day, stopping right in front of their apartment.
"Ya think I should just-?"
"Hey, crippled bastard!! Train me!!" Naruto yelled back to them from high tree branch. 'Crippled bastard' shook at the name.
"I'M NOT CRIPPLED, YOU LITTLE SHIT!!"
"Then prove it by training me!!"
'Cripple bastard' growled as his pal chuckled behind him. Sighing, he fell on his behind motioning the youngster to do the same. Naruto did so with a smug smirk.
"You planning on givin' up, cripple?"
"Call me cripple again and you can say 'good bye' to this chance you're getting right now." Naruto shut his mouth. Exhaling the man continued, "I need a favor, kid. There's a lady, back at the hot springs. She has something I want."
"Sure! Sure! I get that thing from her and you start teaching me?!" The lanky man nodded miserably. "OKAY!"
Naruto ran off, before coming straight back,
"What does she look like again?"
"What did I get myself into?"
--
"I-I got it!" Naruto pulled out a small, square case from his back pocket. "It wasn't easy, but I got it! Paranoid bitch…" He tossed the case to the armless man. "Catch!"
The man missed completely because of his missing of hands. Watching it fall to the ground, the large man picked it up for him.
"Thanks, Jan."
The man dubbed 'Jan' nodded.
"Okay! Okay are we gunna start training or what?! I'm ready, 'ttebayo!"
"Calm the hell down, kid. You're gonna go through the simple stuff before you get anywhere." He nodded to Jan.
Jan went through the front door and came back with a pair of…very large, pants. The same type Jan and 'crippled bastard' was wearing.
"Neon orange or neon red?" Naruto heard Jan say for the first time. His voice was smooth and deep, a weird but understandable combination.
"W-What is that?"
"Here's lesson number one, kid! You always look you're best when you train with us! Got it?" The still unmanned man said. Naruto blinked.
"No…not really."
"Kid! You have to look good when you dance!" he barked.
"D-Dance?! I thought this was Taijustu training!!"
The man gave a smug smirk.
"After you learn from my style of fighting, there won't be any need for any more Taijustu junk! It's good ol styling 'Burekingu' with Ponchi-sensei!"
"B-Burekingu?"
"Correct! Uzumaki Naruto, from this day on you'll learn only me and Jan's style! Burekingu! No bitching, either!"
"What kind of name is Ponch-"
"NO BITCHING!!"
--
Boredom is a terrible thing. It makes us do stupid things. I think this would count as a crack fic right? But it is hardly funny… maybe the idea itself is crack.
'Burekingu' - Breaking
If you know what I mean by 'breaking'…kudos to you.