Spoiler Alert: Story set mid-Season 6. All I'm gonna say... No pairings.
Disclaimer: Still don't own 'em... though I've wished on my own star...
A/N: Been much too long since I've written anything new so here is the next installment in the 100 Themes. Just a moment in time shared between friends... add in a touch of memories and a dollop of emotion and stir till ready. As always, R&R! Enjoy and remember that I'm needy and love comments! *giggle*
He stood alone in the field below the dark night sky. Somewhere along the line it had become a ritual for him. Each night, no matter what was happening, no matter what the weather, he would spend a few quiet moments alone under the stars. Each night he would remember those precious quiet moments alone with Sam, just being together, looking at those same stars. Each night the same ache would fill his heart as tears that he would never shed in front of them filled his eyes.
But, tonight was different. Tonight, for the first time in a year, he stood alone beneath that same sky and felt nothing but calm. He wasn't even aware of the soft upturning of his lips, creating an expression of peace that had been too long missing. He didn't notice the way the creases in his forehead and around his eyes had, for the first time since that day, finally softened, erasing the pain that was usually so evident there.
He looked skyward, searching for the first star of the night. As his eyes adjusted to the dimness and the first pin prick of light was detected he closed his eyes, ready to complete the ritual, ready to make his wish. He was still standing there, eyes closed, amazed at the thought that he no longer had to wish on that star when he felt the intruder behind him. There was no sound, no warning, just a familiar presence that was all he needed to know that he was in no danger.
"Hey Cas." He didn't need to look behind him to know that his friend was standing there, head cocked, debating whether or not to speak.
"Dean." The quiet voice was closer now as, mind made up, the Angel moved to stand beside him. "The Heavens are beautiful tonight. You would never know there was a war raging beyond those stars." The burden of that war sat heavily on Cas's shoulders, the weariness of it echoing in his voice.
"Why don't you take the night off? Sounds like you could use it." He knew the answer but still felt the need to try. Taking a deep breath he prepared to hear the latest update, sorry to have to let go of the moment and rejoin reality.
"Dean, what were you doing just now?" The question was so unexpected that he found himself answering before he realized what he was doing.
"Wishing." As the word left his lips he cringed inwardly. This was his. This was private. This was something he had never shared with anyone. He wasn't sure why... he wasn't exactly embarrassed by the act. Somewhere, deep inside, that small voice whispered in his head, "If you tell your wish it won't come true." There were just some things that weren't worth the risk, no matter how silly that risk sounded. He would never risk his wish... not that one.
"Wishing?" There was something in his friend's voice that twisted his heart. It wasn't just curiosity he was hearing. He turned, looking into the tired blue eyes, trying to determine if he was right. The hope that he saw burning there was all the answer he needed and all the prompting it took to break down the wall that held back his ability to share this piece of himself with anyone. He turned back to the night sky, unable to look into those eyes as he explained.
"When I was just a kid, Mom would take me outside and tell me to look up at the sky. 'Find a star,' she'd say. And together we would search for the first star of the night. When we found it she would say the same nursery rhyme each night. 'Star light, star bright, the first star I see tonight. I wish I may, I wish I might, have this wish I wish tonight.' Then we would both close our eyes tight and make a wish."
"I never forgot that. She would tell me that, if I wished hard enough and didn't tell anyone what I wished for, then it might come true. When Sammy got big enough I used to take him out and tell him how Mom was up there... waiting to hear his wish. As we got older and found out what was really out there in the dark the wishing stopped."
He was surprised to feel an errant tear slide down his cheek as the memories filled his mind. Yeah, the wishing had stopped but, even as they had grown older some part of it remained. Neither one would admit it but, when they had a rare night off, they both loved to spend it laying on the hood of the car, staring at those same stars. He was sure he wasn't the only one that had secretly made a few wishes on those nights.
"But if you stopped then why were you wishing tonight?" He could hear the disappointment in the question. He knew things must be pretty desperate upstairs if the Angel was pinning his hopes on wishing on a star. He debated whether or not to admit the truth. Feeling that hope wasn't such a terrible gift to give his friend he turned back to Cas.
"When Sam went in the cage I... every instinct in my body screamed to get him out, find a way, somehow. But, I'd made a promise... he'd made me promise. It was tearing me up inside. I couldn't think, I couldn't function, I couldn't live... then, one night I was out walking, trying to clear my head and I happened to look up. I saw that first star twinkling in the sky and before I knew what I was doing I heard myself saying that old nursery rhyme. I made a wish."
"That night I wished harder than I had ever wished in my whole life. I put every thought, every emotion into sending that wish out there to whoever or whatever might hear it and you know, it might sound crazy but, in that moment I could almost feel Sam, standing next to me, holding my hand like he did that night he made his first wish. It was my only connection to them."
"I guess, somehow it made me feel just a little bit better. Like I was doing something... I know it sounds stupid but it helped. So, each night I'd go out and make that same wish."
Cas stood quietly for a long moment, obviously lost in his own thoughts. Just as Dean began to think the discussion was over the Angel quietly asked, "Did your wish ever come true?"
"Well... Sammy's in there right now talking to Bobby isn't he?" Again he watched as the Angel quietly thought this over. "Hey, why don't you come in for awhile. Catch us up on what's going on. Maybe together we can come up with some plan to help you out up there... after all, we did stop an apocalypse, how hard can this be?"
"I'd like that... but you go ahead. I think I'd like a few moments to just remember what it was like to take in the beauty of my Father's creation. The heavens really do look perfect tonight don't they..."
He nodded as he turned to walk back into the house. Yeah, together they would find a solution. They always had made a good team, the three of them, Cas and the Winchester brothers... Team Free Will. He laughed quietly to himself as he thought of the nickname. As he reached for the door he stopped. The soft smile returned to his face as he heard the Angel's soft voice in the distance...
"Star light... star bright... the first star I see tonight..."