URGENT NOTE: As you may know, the BBC starts shooting the 50th anniversary special this week. If you'd like to see a proper tribute to Sarah Jane in the special, please consider signing the petition at www dot ipetitions dot com / petition/sarah-jane-smith-dr-who-tribute (automatic link removed because we don't want to break any rules) and passing it on to any groups you belong to. If we all pass it on, we can make a difference! Time (ironically) is of the essence! Thanks!

The Doctor knows he wants to say goodbye to Sarah Jane before he regenerates. But has he cut it too close? Another take on what *should* have happened at the End of Time. (AU) 10/Sarah Jane

The Doctor returned Jack's silent salute and made his way back to the TARDIS. No time to talk. The pain was becoming unbearable, and he still had one more stop to make.

His fingers flew over the console as he set the coordinates. How many times had he planned to do this, then chickened out before the TARDIS materialized? Not this time. Just time for one last goodbye. Already his vision was blurry and his feet didn't seem to want to do what he told them to.

The TARDIS landed with a thud and he groaned, catching his breath before he opened the door. He had to keep it together for just one more minute. He couldn't go without saying goodbye to her.

Sarah Jane Smith heard the familiar sound of the TARDIS and ran upstairs to her attic office. As she reached the top of the steps she saw him. The Doctor was standing there, looking pale as a ghost and barely able to hold onto the door. "Doctor," she cried out as she ran to him. "What's wrong? You look awful."

"I'm ... it's ... can't... I ..." The speech center of his brain was barely holding on. He wanted to tell her so much, that he was sorry, that he missed her, that there'd never been anyone like her, and now he couldn't even say her name. Just one sentence escaped the fog. "I don't want to go."

Sarah didn't know what was happening to the Doctor, but she could tell he needed help, and right away. She slipped her arm under his and started guiding him back to the TARDIS. "Come on Doctor, let's get you into the Zero Room."

For a moment, he felt himself relax. Sarah would know what to do. She'd take care of him. He let her guide him as he rode out another wave of agony that burned through his body and suddenly realized what he was doing. She couldn't be here. Not now. "No, you have to ... go ..." he forced out. He wanted to push her away, but his limbs weren't complying.

"It's alright Doctor, I'll take care of you. You'll be fine in no time, just try to relax." They were almost to the Zero Room; she could see the door just a few feet ahead of them. "We're almost there, hang on for just a few more moments, please try." Sarah struggled as he started to get heavier. He could barely walk now.

He felt himself falling, falling, falling but never hitting bottom. He knew this feeling. The ... the Zero Room? That's good, he thought. The Zero Room could absorb the radiation he was about to expel. That would be all right. Nobody would ... no! Sarah was -

And then it happened. His consciousness exploded with energy; the radiation, his agony at leaving this life, his regeneration... Regeneration? Yes! That was the searing pain in every cell that tore through his soul.

Suddenly he was consumed with the thought that he had to protect Sarah. She had to live. She had to! The energy ... it had to go somewhere safe ...

But Sarah had been right next to him when it started. She was holding his hand when she suddenly felt as if lightning was shooting through her. Pain wracked her body and her blood felt as if it were boiling inside of her. She didn't know what was happening, all she knew was that it didn't matter. If she were going to die, at least she was with the Doctor. She tried to speak, to tell him how she felt about him, but she couldn't. So she just held onto him as tightly as she could. She looked into his wild eyes and stared at them, hoping he could tell how much he meant to her. She stayed this way until she started to pass out. 'Goodbye Doctor, I love you,' she thought. Then everything went black.

Finally, it subsided. It was over, the Doctor thought. He took a deep breath, then remembered. "Sarah!" She was floating next to him, just as he'd taught her all those years ago. But she wasn't breathing. He held onto her and felt her arms float, slack. "No, Sarah, no!" Hot tears ran down his face and onto her blouse as he held her close, as though he could force life back into her. He'd waited too long to come say goodbye, and now he'd killed her. How much radiation and energy had she absorbed? He cursed himself, holding her and rocking back and forth, trying to will it not to be true.

End of Chapter 1

How much radiation has Sarah absorbed? Has the Doctor lost her for good?

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