Cinderella Mary
By BroadwayStarlet
Genre: Romance/Fantasy/Adventure
Rating: K+
Disclaimer: I don't own Mary Poppins, the characters, or the songs. She and Bert belong to P.L. Travers, the Sherman Brothers, George Stiles, Anthony Drewe, Julian Fellowes, Walt Disney, Cameron Mackintosh, and the entire creative team of directors, choreographers, designers, etc. Credit also goes to Julie Andrews, Dick Van Dyke, Laura Michelle Kelly, Gavin Lee, Ashley Brown, Caroline Sheen, Nicolas Dromard, and the entire cast and crew of this magnificent show. I also don't own the story of Cinderella or any of its incarnations.
Special Thanks: My inspirations. And my readers. And Loes for making me post this. And Juli for the messages here... And Vanessa for always reading. :)
Summary: A sequel of sorts to my other fic, Prince and Princess, where Mary and Bert jump into the story of Snow White. Here, they jump into the story of Cinderella. Not sure how I feel about this story. Not my best, but Loes demands it. :P Again, bear with me. I hope I don't break character too much. These characters are hard to write, especially when you put them in strange situations like this.
As always, please read and review!
It was snowing outside, and Mary Poppins was enjoying her night off comfortably indoors and in front of a crackling fire. She leaned against Bert's shoulder, and his arms wrapped around her. This was Mary's favorite place in the world – at Bert's flat, wrapped in his embrace, leaning against her love.
Together they were looking at a collection of fairy tales; Mary was deciding which fairy tale characters and creatures she should bring to Jane Banks's birthday party, and which would be most effective in her latest lessons.
"Eh, Mary, remember when we played Snow White and 'er Prince?"
"Of course, Bert," Mary smiled. "It was fun, wasn't it?"
"Yeah Mary, except when I 'ad to save ya from death – why don't we do it again – but in a story where neither of us dies?"
"Oh, Bert, but we lived happily ever after!"
Bert kissed Mary's hair. "That's 'ow I imagine me life with ya. 'Ow 'bout this one? Cinderella?"
She smiled and nodded. "If you'd like to, Bert."
So once again, Mary snapped them into her fairy tale book.
Bert reappeared in the palace in royal finery. He was now Prince Bert. Mary reappeared outside the city limits in a fine mansion, but instead of finery, she wore a plain brown dress with an apron.
"Cinderella!" a harsh voice called to her.
Mary followed the voice to its owner. A middle aged woman sat in the parlor sipping tea. She was dressed in a deep burgundy velvet dress. "Cinderella, if you aren't the laziest servant I've ever encountered…"
"What can I do for you, Stepmother?" Mary asked, as demurely as possible.
"Scrub the floors in the foyer, wash all the front windows, and cook us dinner. I'm sure I'll think of more. Must keep you busy, right Cinderella? Can't have you being lazy anymore."
"Madam, I've spent all day doing these chores. I am anything but lazy," Mary finally protested.
"And you have the worst mouth – you think you're so proper, Mary Ella,but you're nothing. Ever since your parents died, you've been nothing – a nobody. If it wasn't for me and the kindness of my heart, you'd be on the street. And all I ask is that you help me with this big house your father left me. Shall I also remind you that your father left it to me and not to you? Now off with you."
Mary curtseyed. "Yes, ma'am." And she went back to her chores. She had no problem with housework. As a nanny, she had many responsibilities. Her problem was the lack of gratitude. She'd once told Jane and Michael that they'd go through a lot of staff before they were old if they had an ungrateful attitude. But Mary knew she had to stick this out. She was Cinderella, after all, so she couldn't expect royal treatment at this house – or even fair treatment.Plus, she knew she'd soon be dancing at a fairy tale ball with her beloved Prince Bert.
Mary felt like the day would never end, but soon her stepmother and the two stepsisters – somewhat pretty but equally disagreeable – retired to their quarters, leaving Mary alone and without new chores. She found her way to her bedroom upstairs – which consisted only of a simple bed, a dresser, and a table with a lamp. She was becoming more and more aware of how unwanted Cinderella really was.
"Cinderella!" was the first sound Mary heard when she woke up the next morning. She grumbled a bit as she crawled out of the very uncomfortable bed. She opened one of the drawers and pulled out another plain brown dress and apron. She combed her long curls and pulled them back into a bun. She then descended to the kitchen where she prepared tea and breakfast for her stepmother and stepsisters.
"Cinderella, that dress is positively hideous," Cordelia sneered.
"You know very well these dresses are all I have, Cordelia. No need to be rude."
"Don't talk to her like that," Stepmother commanded.
"You are always so slow, Cinderella," Adrianna said.
"I do my best."
"Your best isn't nearly good enough," Stepmother said.
She returned to cleaning the house – every room had to be spit spot spic and span. She wasn't sure why she was forced to clean the same rooms every day; they couldn't possibly grow that much dirt and dust in twenty four hours.
Midmorning, the doorbell rang, and Mary answered it, as she was already in the foyer, scrubbing the marble floors. A man in an elegant uniform stood there. He unrolled a scroll.
"I bring news from the King and Queen. The Prince has returned from his studies abroad, and in his honor, a Ball will be held tonight. All eligible ladies in the Kingdom are required to attend, by the order of the King. Tonight the crown Prince will chose his future bride. I present you with this invitation."
The messenger handed Mary a fancy parchment envelope with gold accents. "Thank you sir," she smiled.
"Good day to you." And he was gone.
Mary immediately delivered the invitation to her stepmother and stepsisters in their music room. Both of the girls had atrocious singing voices, but always yelled at Mary when she sang.
"What did I tell you about interrupting us, Cinderella?"
""I apologize, but I bring an invitation to a royal ball –"
"A ball?" Adrianna and Cordelia practically ripped the invitation from Mary's hands. They read the invitation out loud with increasingly higher pitches.
"Stepmother, since it says all eligible ladies are required to attend, that means I can go as well, correct?" Mary asked.
Cordelia and Adrianna burst out laughing, but Stepmother stayed calm. "I see no reason why you couldn't attend –"
"Mother!" the girls shrieked.
"— If, and only if, you get your chores done and find something suitable to wear. Here is the list of your chores today. Come see me when you've finished." Mary's heart sank as her stepmother handed her a long list. There was no way she'd get this all done. She smiled, knowing somehow she'd get to the ball anyway. She searched the attic and found a dress that once belonged to Cinderella's mother. It fit perfectly. Things are always convenient in a fairy tale, Mary thought. Then Mary set to work on her chores list. Surprisingly, she got through the list much faster than she'd anticipated. She was cutting it close. As she was starting her last chore, her stepmother and stepsisters were getting ready for the ball.
At eight o'clock, the royal carriage arrived. The stepmother and stepsisters emerged from their bedrooms in their elegant ball gowns and floated down the staircase.
"Wait!" Mary called from her attic bedroom doorway. She was dressed in a very pretty blush pink gown. She looked gorgeous but she knew it wasn't what she'd be wearing to the ball. Her real dress, she knew, would be even more stunning.
"And what do you want?"
"To go to the ball, of course!" Mary said.
"Like that?" Cordelia laughed.
"Why that dress is absolutely repulsive," Adrianna added.
"Cinderella, what makes you think you can go to the ball?"
"You told me if I get my chores done…"
"And you have not," the stepmother said.
"I completed the last –" Mary began.
"That was only the first list. You failed to come to me for the second."
Mary's jaw dropped. "You can't be serious. There was no possible way…"
"I'm afraid I am."
Mary shook her head. "But that isn't fair – we're all ready – can't you just let me go?"
The stepmother and stepsisters had already walked out the door. Mary followed.
"And what would we learn from that just by letting you go when you haven't earned it? Absolutely not. Come girls." Adrianna and Cordelia sneered at Mary, but as Mary made another attempt to follow them, Cordelia tripped her. Mary fell into the mud, ruining her mother's dress. "And Cinderella, lifeisn't fair."
The stepmother and stepsisters left her there. Mary eventually pulled herself to her feet, wiped tears, and ran into the garden. There she sobbed – over her lost dignity, her ruined dress, and a broken promise. Her grief clouded her memory, and Mary forgot that Cinderella would live happily ever after, and after that she would return to London with Bert at her side. How could someone be so cruel?
"There, there, Cinderella – or should I say Mary Poppins? Have you forgotten your own story? You have a ball to get to."
Mary looked up and her eyes grew wide at the sight of an elderly woman in long purple robes. "Fairy godmother, it's so lovely to see you!"
"You as well, my dear."
"But how can I possibly go to the ball – the carriage has gone, and now I have nothing to wear."
"Quite easy to fix." The fairy godmother pulled a wand out of midair, and waved it. Four mice that were sitting in the garden began to glitter and grow, and suddenly reappeared as horses. A pumpkin sitting in the vegetable patch swelled and turned into an elegant gilded carriage. Mary had read the fairy tale so many times but the sight of such wondrous transformations in front of her eyes enthralled her.
The fairy godmother waved her wand again and two frogs in the pond turned into a coachman and footman.
"Aren't they lovely?" the fairy godmother asked and Mary nodded. "Now I seem to be forgetting something…"
"My dress?" Mary asked.
"Oh, dear me, yes!" And with another flourish of godmother's wand, Mary's dress began to glitter. Her muddy rags transformed into a gorgeous baby blue ball gown with silver threads woven in to make it glitter in the moonlight. There were thin straps, a fitted bodice, and a full skirt. On her feet were dazzling glass slippers. Despite being made of glass, they fit her feet perfectly and were incredibly comfortable. Perfect for a night of dancing.
"Oh, it's perfectly beautiful," Mary exclaimed as she spun, watching her skirt flair out. "I love it, thank you!"
"Now off you go, dear girl. Your Prince is waiting for you."
An image of Bert flashed into her mind, dressed as her handsome prince. She'd forgotten. Her heart fluttered. Prince Bert.
"There's one rule, Cinderella. You must be out of there before the last stroke of midnight. All of this will be gone then. The spell will be broken."
"I understand. Oh thank you, fairy godmother!" Mary hugged the old woman and got into the carriage.
The enchanted coach flew through the streets of the small village. It squealed to a halt in front of the palace. A red carpet flowed down the staircase to meet her, and Mary began to climb. She could feel her heartbeat getting faster the closer she got to the entrance hall…
Bert was incredibly bored at the ball. Each girl approached him, was introduced, but of course none were interesting to him. Many were pretty for sure, but Mary was the most beautiful girl he'd ever see. He was sure that these girls were smart and kind, but only Mary would ever win his heart. He glanced at the clock tower between girls. Nine o'clock. Where was she?
A pair of pretty girls curtseyed in front of him. "Miss Adrianna and Miss Cordelia Ghent."
Bert nodded curtly and when he looked up there was a gorgeous vision in sky blue glittering as she descended the staircase. Mary.
Their eyes locked. Goodness, he looked handsome.
Bert stepped between Cordelia and Adrianna and strolled across the dance floor to meet Mary at the bottom of the stairs. He felt eyes follow him across the room, but he didn't care. Blimey, she was gorgeous. A dream. She really was a fairy tale princess.
When Mary reached the bottom of the stairs, she curtseyed low, her eyes tearing away from his for a moment. She felt his hand cup her chin, and she met his gaze again. He drew her to her feet, his eyes staring into hers. She couldn't breathe.
"I've waited so long for you," he told her softly.
He leaned down and kissed her. He placed his hands on her hips and pulled her closer. He kept kissing her even though they felt everyone in the ballroom watching them. There were whispers already.
"Who is this beautiful girl who just arrived?" "Why is the prince kissing her already?"
It took Mary a moment to remember she was Cinderella kissing the prince, not Mary kissing Bert. She pulled back, her eyes wide, and her lips swollen from her passionate fairy tale kiss.
"Oh, Bert," she sighed.
"Dance with me," Bert asked, and took her in his arms. Soon the prince and Cinderella were twirling around the dance floor. "You're the fairest girl at the ball, Mary," he said. "And I'm not just saying that because you're my Mary. No wonder the prince fell in love with Cinderella."
Mary giggled. "No wonder Mary Poppins fell in love with Bert Alfred."
"Shh, Mary – you're Cinderella tonight."
"You're my prince no matter where we are, no matter what."
Bert kissed her again. They waltzed across the dance floor, laughing together, enjoying being in each others' arms at last.
After many dances, Bert led Mary out to the palace gardens. They sat on a bench by a sparkling fountain, and Mary leaned into him.
"Oh, Bert, this has been the most wonderful night. I'm so glad we're here together…" She wrapped her arms around him. A moment passed.
"Were they awful to you?" he asked.
Mary took a moment to reply. She couldn't meet his gaze. "Worse than I ever thought they'd be."
He took her hand and squeezed it. "I'm sorry, Mary…I'm here with you now."
She met his eyes. "They were terribly ungrateful and unreasonable…and they pushed me in the mud…"
Bert's eyes grew wide. "They what?"
"I knew they'd ruin my first dress, because how else could I be given a second, even more beautiful gown? But I never thought they'd ruin it like that…they were so cruel…" Mary buried her face in her hands.
"Mary…" he hugged her. "You look so beautiful…and I love you. Don't think of them. Soon we'll have our happy ending and then we'll go home to London…and I'll always be here for you." He picked a white rose from a bush near the fountain and placed it in her curls. "There, a way to remember this night and my love for you."
Mary smiled at him; he was always so sweet to her, and so honest. They would live happily ever after, and not just in this fairy tale. "I love you, Bert," she said earnestly, and they leaned in closer until their lips touched. When they parted, she sighed into him. "Just one more night without you…"
He kissed her hair. "You'll be alright, my Mary," he said.
"Things will get much worse before you find me again," she said, her voice bleak.
Bert squeezed her tighter. "Remember I love you and that I willfind you – and don't let them hurt you. You're beautiful and perfect and they must see that. And they're jealous. Plus they're not even real, we're in a book."
She smiled and kissed him again, and this time, their passion was broken by the first stroke of midnight. Mary hugged him and rose. "I must go –"
He held her hands. "Can't you stay? Let's rewrite this story -"
The bell tolled again.
"I can't, you know we can't…" She kissed him one last time. "I love you. I'll miss you tonight. Goodnight, my sweet prince. I hope you find me soon." She disappeared from his side.
The clock tolled again, and Mary ran through the ballroom. She felt awful. An hour or so earlier, everyone saw her dancing with and kissing the prince. Now she was wondering what they thought – something must have gone horribly wrong, for sure.
Of course they were wrong. It broke her heart to leave such a glorious ball. She was only running away as to not transform back into rags before she was outside and away from the palace. She dropped one of her beautiful glass slippers on the palace steps, but she knew she had to leave it. Her coach was there waiting for her – and as soon as she climbed inside, it started zooming towards home.
Halfway through town, Mary heard the final toll of midnight, and then she found herself suddenly sitting on a pumpkin in the road. The mice and frogs were sitting in a gilded basket next to the pumpkin, and all that was left of her beautiful ball gown was a single glittering glass slipper, and Bert's white rose in her hair. Mary slipped off the shoe and placed it in her pocket, and picked up the pumpkin and basket of new friends and carried them home.
Mary deposited the pumpkin in the garden and freed the frogs and mice.
"Thank you, dear friends," she said. Before they scattered, Mary could swear they each winked at her.
Once inside, Mary hid her slipper in her dresser drawer and put her white rose in a vase on her table. She bathed before going to bed. She knew she had plenty of time before her stepmother and stepsisters would be home, so she took her time to take the luxurious bath she otherwise wouldn't have been allowed.
She finally climbed into bed around one, and she fell into a deep, restful sleep where she dreamt of dancing with Bert across the clouds.
Mary woke late the next morning, but still much earlier than her stepmother and stepsisters. For once their nagging didn't drag her out of bed. She dressed in her plain brown dress and slipped the glass slipper into her pocket. She wanted to keep the memory of last night with her.
She prepared tea and breakfast and started the laundry, and by then she heard her name yelled from the opposite end of the house. She brought trays of tea and muffins into the parlor where they always had their breakfast.
"And how did you spend your evening, Cinderella?" Stepmother asked.
Mary smiled. "Mostly I dreamt of what the ball would be like, and I retired early."
"You can't possibly imagine the elegance of the ball," Cordelia insisted.
"Was it lovely?" Mary asked.
"The loveliest affair you'd ever see," Adrianna said.
"Did you dance with the prince?" she asked, wondering how many lies the sisters would tell to make themselves seem better than they were.
"Of course. They both did," Stepmother said. "They were rudely interrupted by the arrival of a princess and she stole the prince's attention for the rest of the night. I imagine the prince became displeased with her, because at midnight she was seen running from the palace. What a fool."
Mary pretended to be shocked at the princess's behavior, poured more tea, and then went downstairs to begin her chores. A knock at the door surprised her, and she opened it to find the same messenger who'd delivered the invitation.
"The prince will be visiting each household in the province today to find the lost princess from the ball last night. Each girl will be questioned about her activities at the ball to seek out the princess's identity. The prince is determined to find her and will marry no one else."
Mary nodded and delivered the message to her stepsisters.
"We must waste no time. Get dressed in your best gowns, girls. The prince will never find her, and in the meantime, one of you will win him today. He will forget about a foolish girl when he meets you," the stepmother said. Then she turned to Mary. "And you, get to work."
Mary nodded and returned to her chores.
During a spare moment, she returned to her room to comb her hair and to make sure she looked practically perfect for when the Prince arrived. She could still recognize her face in the mirror despite the fact that her usual proper blouse and skirt had been replaced by a plain brown dress and apron. She nodded at her reflection, as she was still Mary Poppins, no matter what she wore.
Bert was right, no matter what her fictional stepfamily said, she had to remember that this wasn't real. And she and Bert would live happily ever after in London…
"CINDERELLA! Where areyou?" Stepmother called.
"Coming!"
Mary ran down the stars, and glanced out the window. The royal carriage had just pulled out. Bert climbed out of the carriage. Her heart fluttered. This was it.
Mary opened the door and Prince Bert and his guard entered the house. He winked at her. Before the guard could notice Mary there, stepmother shooed her into the kitchen, and locked the door. There was no way back into the parlor. Mary slipped out the kitchen door into the garden.
She sat on the bench and waited. Bert would find her…
Bert couldn't believe Mary had to deal with these horrible women. They were obnoxious and selfish and were trying much too hard to squeeze their giant feet into Mary's tiny glass slipper. He yawned, rose, and claimed he needed a breath of fresh air. He exited the house and strolled around to the backyard to the garden. He found his Mary sitting on a bench.
"Hello," he said.
Mary looked up and smiled. "You found me." She stood and closed the distance between them, wrapping her arms around him.
"I found you," he whispered into her hair. "My beautiful Mary."
He leaned down and kissed her. Their passion grew, and her arms encircled his neck. He held onto her waist. She ran her fingers through his hair as she kissed him. It felt so good to be with him again.
"Get off of him, you stupid girl!" Stepmother yanked Mary by the arm and pulled her out of her blissful embrace.
"I'm sorry, your highness. We don't speak of this servant girl to anyone – she can't control herself."
Mary gasped, but it was Bert that replied. "I beg your pardon, Madam, but don't speak of her like that. She is anything but stupid –"
"Oh poor you, your highness, now she has bewitched you."
"Don't talk about her like that," Bert commanded. "She has not bewitched me and I love her."
Mary returned to Bert's embrace, but was yanked away again. She felt a flash of heat across her cheek. Stepmother had just slapped her hard. The shock caused Mary to fall to her knees.
"That's it – bow before royalty, you idiot girl."
"You willnotspeak to her like that," Bert said. He knelt in front of Mary, who was now sobbing into her hands, humiliated. "Come my dear." He took her hands and pulled her to her feet. He snapped his fingers and his guard brought forward the glass slipper on the cushion. "Try this, my love, and you can show them that you're mine."
She slipped her left foot into the slipper. Naturally, it fit perfectly. Her stepmother and stepsisters gasped, horrified.
"I have the other one as well," Mary said, and she reached into her apron pocket and pulled out the matching glass slipper. Bert himself knelt before her and slipped the shoe onto her right foot.
"My princess," Bert smiled up at her, and then he rose and kissed her. "Marry me, sweet Cinderella."
She beamed and nodded. She noticed the guard now was carrying a tiara on his cushion. Bert took the tiara and placed it atop her deep brown curls.
"Let's pack your things, my dear," Bert said, and she led him to her bedroom. She took her white rose and turned back to him, finished 'packing' already. "That's all, Mary?" She nodded. He looked around. "This is where you slept? The rest of the house is so lovely…"
Mary shrugged. "I'm Cinderella."
"And I'm your prince, m'lady."
Mary and Bert rode away together in the carriage. Once at the palace, she changed into a fine light blue gown, but kept Bert's rose in her hair. She emerged from her princess quarters.
"You look tip top from top to toe, if I may say so."
Mary giggled. "Thank you, Bert, and you may."
"Time to meet my parents." He led her to his parents' sitting room.
"You must be the lovely girl from the ball," the King smiled. "And your name is?"
"My family called me Cinderella. But my real name is Mary Ella."
"It's wonderful to meet you, Mary," the Queen said. "Did you enjoy yourself at the ball?"
"Oh it was the loveliest night of my life!" Mary exclaimed.
"You left quite abruptly –"
"I had to be home by a certain time. I'm sorry. I wish I could've stayed."
"It's alright, dear," the Queen answered. "We're just so glad Bert had found a girl he wishes to marry. Do you love him?"
"Oh, very much," Mary said. Bert's arms wrapped around her shoulders and he gave her a quick squeeze.
"My dear, could you give us a moment to speak with our son?"
Mary nodded and slipped out the door to wait in the hall. She wondered what they possibly had to say without her there. Maybe they didn't approve. And goodness, they were talking a long time, it felt.
The door opened and Bert stepped out.
"What is it?"
He smiled. "They just wanted to tell me that they love you very much."
Mary broke into a huge smile. "Oh, Bert." And she kissed him.
For the next two days, preparations were made for the royal wedding. In record time, the seamstresses sewed a beautiful white dress and veil for the bride. Invitations were sent out. Food was cooked for the royal wedding reception.
Finally, it was the wedding day. As Mary walked down the aisle, she had eyes only for her Prince Charming waiting for her at the altar. She didn't notice that Stepmother and her stepsisters were in attendance.
Mary and Bert – or Cinderella and the Prince – were pronounced a married couple. Prince and Princess kissed each other – a magical fairy tale kiss. They danced all night at their reception, and ate delicious food at the royal wedding feast. Then they thanked their guests and retired to the wedding suite.
The story was over. Cinderella and her prince would live happily ever after. It was time to return to London. Mary and Bert held each other, and together they said their magic word: "Supercal..."
Mary and Bert reappeared in his flat, the fire still crackling. It had only taken them twenty minutes to "read" the story.
"Look, Mary, the rose is still in your 'air!"
She reached up, and sure enough, Bert's white rose from the ball sat amongst her curls. She looked down and gasped at her feet – she was still wearing the glass slippers. He looked equally shocked when she met his gaze again. She kissed him. "Thank you, Bert, for the wonderful fairy tale."
She turned to get her bag and her umbrella. "Well, I suppose I must be going."
"Mary, there's a bloomin' blizzard out there – couldn't ya stay? Besides, I just married ya…couldn't we spend our weddin' night together?"
"Bert." Mary had that scolding tone again.
"I didn't mean it like that. I just don't want ya to leave."
She smiled. "I suppose it would be foolish to leave in this weather." She set down her bag and her umbrella and sat on the couch, fluffed the pillow. "Well goodnight, Bert."
"What'cha doin'?"
"Staying the night, of course."
"Oooh no ya don't." Bert knelt down and slipped his arms under her knees and supported her back. He lifted her up.
"What do you think you're doing?"
"Takin' ya to your bed." Before she could protest, he kissed her again. He carried her up the stairs to his bedroom and set her on his bed. She stared up at him in awe – she wasn't quite sure of his intentions. Bert sat beside her. "Mary, I wish this marriage was real – I mean, I really wish you were me wife and this was our flat and our weddin' night. Ever thought of gettin' married?"
She shrugged. "I couldn't…not with my job and my duty. But of course, I suppose every lady has dreamed of getting married to a wonderful man and living happily ever after…"
"I only dream of marryin' you, Mary," he said earnestly, staring into her deep blue eyes.
"Oh, Bert…" She couldn't think of what else to say. His gaze was mesmerizing – and she was reminded why she fell in love with him in the first place – he was honest, sweet, caring, the handsomest man she'd ever seen, and he loved her as much as she loved him. "Are you proposing?"
"No, no, not yet!" Bert laughed. "I want it to be perfect. I will ask you one day, Mary. Tonight got me thinkin'; I don't wanna be without you. I'd do anythin' for you, Mary. I'd do anything to be your 'usband."
She kissed him, and took his face in her hands, and looked him deep in the eyes. "I accept…" She whispered. "I love you, my prince. I'll marry you, Bert."
The End
Author's Note: Please review? Tell me what you think. I know it's silly. But I have way too much fun writing my Mary and Bert adventures. I thought I might as well post them.