Warning: Extreme mind-fuckery is involved. Of course, this being a written form of Re:Zero, I doubt anyone really expected anything different.

Chapter 1: Starting Life in Another World

Dying isn't fun.

Yeah, yeah, I know what you're saying. Natsuki Subaru, how can you possibly know what dying feels like if you're sitting here, telling me this story? And honestly, I can understand why you would say that. Until the day I decided to not get natto at that convenience store off of East Avenue, I wouldn't have believed me either. But it's the truth. Dying is probably my least favorite thing to do, and having been a proud shut-in on Earth, there's a hell of a lot of things I don't like to do, so I know what I'm talking about here!

Trust me on this: You do not want to die. It hurts greater than any pain you can dare to imagine. You feel weightless, like you're floating in deep space, and emptier than a vacuum. Then there's the absolutely horrible sensation that you're an iceberg; your whole being frozen, drifting about aimlessly. And you will never feel more alone than you do when you die.

Until about a year ago, I hadn't known what death feels like. Well, okay, I say a year, but I honestly have no clue how this world's time compares to Earth. I wasn't wearing any watches when I crossed over, and my phone was dead, so I'd left that charging in my - -

Emilia-tan's telling me I'm getting sidetracked. Sorry!

Anyway, supposing that Earth time runs parallel to time in this world, my whole story started about a year ago.

Have you ever been to Tokyo? It's a really amazing city! For most people, anyway. I never liked it very much. All the high-rising buildings, the cramped houses, the sky crushing down on you... everything felt suffocating to me. Maybe that was why I almost always stayed at home if I could help it. Playing video games, reading manga, and watching old samurai movies were the only things those days that made me feel free, like I could do anything. In the city, I was trapped, just another lonely pedestrian in an endless sea of pedestrians. In my fantasies, I was Captain Subaru, sailing around the world, fanatical like a demon!

But there comes a time in every shut-in's life when he must brave the dangers lying in wait outside his door, when he must crawl through the urban jungle in search of the cheapest food. And thus I found myself in the convenience store down the road from my apartment that fateful Saturday, shifting through day-old ramen cups and natto bags in Aisle 2.

It was much too bright in the convenience store. I, Natsuki Subaru, proud shut-in, dare not hang around in artificial light too often, for I know the risks of it melting your skin! Humanity can exist only in mostly-full darkness, preferably with the soft glow of the TV shining in the corner of the room!

And yet my stomach was rumbling. I had to worry about food first. Skin-melting artificial light could be avoided later.

"Hm... which is easier to prepare, cup ramen or natto?" I mused, eyeing the foods in question pointedly. I picked up a bag of the latter and turned it around, reading the cooking instructions. "Uh... this says it only takes a minute to warm up in the microwave... I dunno if I really want beans, though..."

I put the natto bag back on the shelf, comparing the two foods. Humming a soundtrack from Fire Emblem: Fates, I tapped my foot as I mulled over my options.

Eh, screw it. A minute of microwaving compared to the cup ramen's two meant one more minute I could be grinding for exp levels.

I reached for the natto again, but just as I touched the bag, my vision went murky, like I was in a dark room. My body keeled forward, and I struck a boarded floor lifelessly. My heart pounded in fear and confusion. What the hell was going on? I blinked, and suddenly I was back in the convenience store, staring dumbstruck at my natto, panting like the winner of a marathon.

What... the hell.. was that...

I shook my head, flabbergasted at the strange experience I'd just gone through. "Alright, then," I said, a strange, cold feeling settling in my gut, "definitely not natto." I selected the closest ramen cup and started walking to the cash register. The manga section was on the way, and I stopped by curiously, wondering if the latest volume of my new favorite series was out yet. I leafed through a few volumes of manga, searching for My Hero Academia.

My hand stopped on a manga I'd never read before, one of those sappy love stories.

Well, it couldn't hurt to take a look at it. Maybe laugh at stupid cliche plots.

I opened it and shuffled through its pages. I stopped at one panel I saw that was actually drawn pretty damn well; a girl reaching her hand out to a guy desperately holding onto the ledge of a roof. I snorted. "So this is where they suck you in, huh?" I guessed, rolling my eyes.

I began to walk off with the manga, but the strange vision-y thing from before happened again. I was back on that hardwood floor, motionless, the room wreathed in darkness. The pained squeak of a girl rose to my ears, and to my growing horror, the thump of another body hitting the floor beside me. A limp arm rolled into my view.

Just as soon as the vision had appeared, it was gone again, and I was one more back in the convenience store, chest heaving eratically.

I threw the manga volume back on the shelf as though it were on fire and dashed for the cash register. What the hell is wrong with me!? I thought, worried I was going insane. I... I guess it's normal for someone who plays video games too much to... get blurry eyes...

The cashier guy tilted his head at me curiously as I fumbled for money in my wallet. I brought out a coin and blinked as I saw what I'd selected. "Well, whaddya know, a grooved-edge ten." I tucked it back in my wallet and fished for more change. Those could be lucky! After I pulled out the appropriate amount - - 363 yen for one cup, what a rip off! - - I paid the cashier and accepted my receipt. I hurried to get out of the store. Maybe it was a trick of the damned artificial lighting. Surely I would stop seeing things under the pure night sky.

I walked across the parking lot and up to the street without a single vision taking up my sensations. I came to a stop in front of the busy street, waiting for a time to cross, and let out a breath.

"Alright, let's go home and play video games until you forget all about creepy visions in random convenience stores, Natsuki Subaru!" I laughed, relieved - - and then stopped short when blaring light suddenly filled my vision.

I blinked.

Blinked again.

What the hell is that goddamned light shining in my eyes? I grumbled, furiously rubbing my eyes, and when I opened them again, what I saw made my blood run ice cold.

It wasn't night time. The buildings rising up around me weren't modern, but more medieval, the kind you'd imagine rich people in fantasy stories to live in. A cobblestone street ran beneath my feet instead of the white cement of a Tokyo sidewalk. And none of that was the weirdest part. No, the weird part was the pedestrians around me: Because to put it simply, there hadn't even been any pedestrians around me the last I'd checked. Now, suddenly, the street was full of them, full of people of all shapes and kinds. And it wasn't just people, either. My surely insane eyes saw cat ears on that blue-haired girl coming out of that shop to the left, saw a freaking lizard-man with a backpack, talking to what looked like a human-sized dog on two legs.

And that was just the tip of the iceberg.

My hand relaxed in shock, and my small bag of cheap food dropped to the ground.

In my complete and utter disbelief, I could only manage five words without completely fainting: "Where... the fuck... am I..."