Chapter 1- Never the Same
Jayden felt the tears stain her cheeks, realizing the gravity of her mistakes. The purple-red light swirled around angrily around her, as if it knew Jayden's mistake too.
"I-I'm sorry. Please, please forgive me." Jayden whispered, like she was begging God to have mercy on her.
The light grew brighter, swirling faster and faster. Cracks of electricity ran through the air, snapping out like a feral dog. Little black hands appeared, a big eye looked at Jayden hungrily. The black hands shot out, grabbing onto parts of Jayden's body, deconstructing them. Jayden screamed out in terror and pain, confused as to what was going on. The pain for the deconstruction was almost unbearable and Jayden felt herself slipping into nothingness, a void of white. She looked around, scared and confused. Wasn't she just in the basement of the orphanage?
"Hello, Little Miss Alchemist. Having fun playing God?"
A being like no other appeared before Jayden, making her jump back in fright. It bore almost no body, outlined in a black haze. But it has the widest, creepiest grin she had ever seen.
"Well if you want knowledge so bad, then I'll give it to you."
Jayden yelped as the black hands started dragging her towards an open door. She struggled against them, but to no avail. Knowledge poured into Jayden's head, of blood seals, transmutation circles, the periodic elements, the universe, alchemic knowledge she had never received from any book she had read. Jayden clutched her head, pulling on her hair, it was almost too much. But unexpectedly, she was back in front of the being, not inside the door anymore. Panting, Jayden lifted her head and stared in fright at the being.
"W-what did you do to me?"
It was almost inhumanly possible, but Jayden saw the grin on the being widened.
"I gave you the knowledge that you've wanted. But of course, with a price. After all, you Alchemists value equivalent exchange, right?"
Jayden felt her right eye burst with renewed pain, along with her right arm. It was excruciating.
"Who are you?"
"Who am I?" The being laughed at the question, like it was trivial, "I am many things. I am God, I am nothing, I am everything, I am the sun and moon, I am the universe,"
The being pointed at Jayden, she realized in sick realization that it was her own arm.
"But I am also you. You trespassed into my domain and gain knowledge, therefore, you paid the price. Have fun with my knowledge, Little Miss Alchemist, maybe you'll be back here someday. I'll be waiting."
The black hands reach out for the last time, dragging Jayden into the void yet again. She screamed, unsure of what was going to happen next. And just like that, Jayden was back in the basement, the horrendous scene swam back into her vision. The pain in her arm renewed again, blood pooling around her. Jayden felt hot, thick blood running out of her right eye.
"Jayden! I heard you screaming, what's-"
Jayden turns to see Alex burst into the room. He looked around, horror and confusion pass through his features. The scent of blood and decaying flesh permeates the room, almost causing Alex to gag. Shaking his head, Alex cleared his thoughts and rushed towards Jayden, almost slipping on her pool of blood. Knees crashed to the ground and Alex grabbed Jayden's shoulders, her eyes torn from the creature she created.
"Jayden! Your arm, your eye! What happened, what did you do?"
"Alex. I'm sorry. I-I just wanted her back! I just wanted back!"
Jayden crumbled into Alex, blood and tears staining his shirt. Alex scooped Jayden up, bundling her small frame into his arms.
"We need to get you to a doctor. You're bleeding too much."
Jayden nodded feebly, almost unable to talk. She took one last glance at the creature she created. Her eyes widened, taking in the full gravity of it.
"That's not…. That's not even human."Jayden whispered, a mix of terror and agony filled her voice.
Jayden felt Alex's arms tighten around her. Exhaustion flooded through Jayden and she fought to keep her eyes open. The darkness was coming to her and Jayden could barely do anything.
"Jayden, you have to stay with me!"
Jayden heard Alex call to her distantly, but unconsciousness was starting to take hold.
"I'm so tired."
"Jayden, please stay awake. You need to stay awake, please, Jayden-"
Jayden couldn't hear Alex anymore. The darkness took hold and she lost consciousness.
Jayden finally woke up, dazed and confused. Where was she? The last thing she remembered was being in the basement, performing human transmu-
"Ah! Good morning Miss Jayden."
Jayden was taken out of her train of thought, seeing a doctor appear next to her bed. She was in the hospital? Eyes widening, she reached out to touch her right arm. Gone.
"What happened to me?" She groaned, pain reigniting in her right arm and eye.
"Due to unfortunate circumstances, you lost your right arm and sight in your right eye. I'm afraid to do not know what those circumstances were, but your friend Alex was quite worried about you. You've been unconscious for almost three days now."
Jayden blinked in disbelief. She casted her eyes down to her left arm. It was trembling. Three days. She was unconscious for three days.
"Could you tell me what happened to you? Do you remember?"
Jayden sought her an answer. She obviously couldn't tell him the truth, she could get sent to jail for her taboo. She quickly thought of an excuse.
"I was walking home from doing an odd-job for Mrs. Werdin. A group of thugs cornered me in the alleyway next to the orphanage. I tried to fight them, but they were too strong for me to handle. So that's why…. That's why…" She made herself look visibly upset.
"I see," The doctor, whose name tag said 'Doctor Albain', nodded sadly, patting Jayden on the left shoulder, "Did Alex find you there? Did you see where the thugs went?"
"I didn't see where the thugs went, they left as quickly as they attacked me. Alex found me in the alley, I think he was worried that I hadn't come home yet."
Doctor Albain nodded again, checking the monitors next the her bed. After writing down a few things on his clipboard, he snapped it shut.
"I think we'll keep you for one more day, just to make sure your vitals are stable. Please take it easy and don't try to go out at night, we don't want to get hurt again."
Jayden agreed, silently thankful that Doctor Albain took her lie easily. After a quiet goodbye, Doctor Albain left the room, greeting someone on the way out. Alex stepped into the room a moment later, a scowl apparent on his face. Jayden felt her heart drop, Alex was mad at her.
"Why did you lie to the doctor? What were you doing in the basement?" Alex demanded.
Jayden could tell by looking at Alex's eyes that he wouldn't stop asking her. Jayden sighed, running her left hand through her hair.
"I lied because if someone in the military found out, I could probably got sent to jail."
Alex stared at Jayden in disbelief, which was completely replaced with anger within a few moments. He crossed the room with a few easy strides and almost towered over Jayden, who was now sitting up, alert and scared.
"Then why did you do it?! It's obviously illegal! JAYDEN! WHAT DID YOU DO?!" Alex roared, making Jayden flinch in terror, eyes blown wide with anxiety.
"Alex, I'm sorry," Jayden said, gripping the front with Alex's shirt, her knuckles turning white, "I….. I just wanted her back. Alex, I just wanted her back."
Alex looked down at Jayden, his face tightening with worry every time she repeated "I'm sorry" and "I just wanted her back".
"Who… who did you want back?"
With tears staining her cheeks, Jayden took a deep breath and said,
"Kallie."
Alex sucked in a breath and the weight of Jayden's words finally hit him. Legs giving out on him, Alex crashed onto the bed, head bent and hands cradling it. Jayden automatically scooted over and put her left hand on Alex's back.
"I can't believe I didn't connect the dots. Jayden, I'm sorry for yelling at you. Of course you wanted her back… everyone does."
They stayed like that for a while; Jayden with her hand on Alex's back and him with his head bowed, almost like he was praying to God. The silence was deafening, on the sounds of breathing and sighing breaking it.
"So I guess I now know what you meant back in the basement too," Alex chuckled, but it didn't have any humor behind it, "You said "I just wanted her back" there too."
Jayden nodded, feeling queasy about the ordeal in the basement. Her eyes widened as she remembered a crucial factor.
"Alex, what happened to the thing?"
Alex looked at Jayden with confusion on his face. But it eventually clicked and he reluctantly dropped his gaze to the floor.
"Don't worry about it. After I dropped you off here, I went back and cleaned up everything."
"And you're…. okay?" Jayden asked, shuddering at the thought of the creature she made.
"I'm fine. Since I didn't really know what it was, I disposed of it quickly. It was already dead when I came back."
'It was already dead. It didn't get to live.' Jayden saddened at the thought.
"I can't believe how stupid I am."
Alex's head whipped to stare at Jayden, her head tilted up, eyes towards the ceiling.
"Why would you say that?"
"Because I committed the ultimate taboo among alchemists. Because I thought I could bring the dead back to life. Because I thought I could see Kallie again."
Jayden's voice was barely a whisper, but strained at the mention of Kallie.
"Jayden, you're not stupid. You were the closest to Kallie, so I'm not surprised you wanted to see her again."
"But I played God."
That one sentence shut down any thoughts Alex was going to say to Jayden, his thoughts fleeting away.
"W-what?"
"Alex, I played God. I got too close to the sun and got burnt because of it. I can't see out of my right eye and my right arm was taken. How am I supposed to fix that?"
Jayden sounded so bitter, like she has tasted chocolate that was too dark. Alex wilted when he saw it was nonnegotiable; Jayden truly believed she was stupid to play God.
"Well, maybe there's a way. Maybe there's an alchemy that can bring it back!"
Jayden just shook her head at Alex's suggestion. Alex felt his heart drop as Jayden sat there, shaking her head, tears beginning to form at the corners of her eyes.
"I have an idea."
Jayden looked at Alex, her interest piqued.
"You could get Automail."
"Alex, I don't have any money," Jayden said softly, "Automail surgery is extremely expensive."
"Yeah I know, but we can do odd jobs around town and save up. Then, we can go to Rush Valley and you can get the surgery there."
"You don't need to help me."
"I don't care if you don't me to, I'm helping you. You want your arm back right? Then I'll do anything I can to help you get what you need."
Jayden gave a withering look at Alex but eventually sighed in defeat since he wasn't backing down.
"I guess it's worth a shot."
Even though Jayden mumbled the response, Alex grinned, knowing he got through to her. They talked for a while after that, thinking of plans for jobs and money they could get for the surgery. Both of them noticed the time, 30 minutes until the orphanage curfew. After bidding each other farewell, Alex left, leaving Jayden to her own thoughts again. She sighed, flopping back into the hard pillows of the hospital bed. Thoughts swirled around in her head; about the surgery, the human transmutation, the topics the "Truth" gave her knowledge of. But no matter how much she didn't want to, the thoughts all went back to….. to that thing. Jayden shivered, a chill running through her spine, the images of the deformed creature echoing in her thoughts. Covering her eyes with her left arm, Jayden tried to lessen the headache that started to form from the bright artificial lights of the hospital. Time seemed to move on without Jayden acknowledging it, and unbeknownst to her, it was officially 10:00 pm, lights out time for patients under the ages of 13 or younger. The lights turned off suddenly, Jayden sat up with a start.
"It is now time for bed, please sleep well and press the button next to your bed if you need anything." An unknown voice of a nurse said over the intercom of the room.
Jayden nodded, both to alert the nurse she heard her and to calm herself. She wasn't in the basement. She was in the hospital, away from the thing she made. Jayden layed back down, nerves creeping up on her. They clawed at the back of her brain, making them known to her. Turning on her left side, Jayden stared at the monitor next to the bed. But it wasn't her bed. Her bed was at the orphanage, soft and worn in from the nights she slept in it. This bed was hard, uncomfortable.
Jayden flipped onto her back again, trying to find a comfortable position. She knew that her right side was the most comfortable, but…. She just couldn't bring herself to lay on it. If she layed on her right side, then her back would be facing the door, and although Jayden knew she was safe in the hospital, she still couldn't bring herself to expose her back, in fear of someone attacking it. Her arm still was in pain, the excruciating spasms had fell into a dull ache, but still an ache nonetheless. A low groan released from the back of her throat, she didn't want to think about her arm. Jayden just wanted to sleep, pretend it's just a terrible nightmare that she'll wake up from. But Jayden knew that wasn't reality. She just didn't want to face reality right now, even though it was rearing its ugly head in the corner of her mind. Jayden's vision blurred the more she thought about the failed human transmutation.
She couldn't bring Kallie back. That was a known fact. Even though human transmutation was a taboo, Jayden believed she could do it, believed she would see sweet Kallie again. Tears swelled into Jayden's vision, making it hazy to see the lights on the monitors. Wiping away her tears, Jayden closes her eyes, and with one more tear escaping her eye, she falls asleep, with the memories of Kallie and Alex twisting into her dreams.
Author's Note
Hey y'all! So I know this has been a long time coming. Jayden was honestly a terrible character when I made her. She was clunky and I was unorganized with her. She was such a Mary-Sue and insert, it's just so cringe-worthy. BUT NO MORE! These first few chapters will be about her past/backstory, so if you're not interested, then the 4th chapter will be when stuff goes down.
A couple of notes before I wrap up:
When I originally wrote The Blade Alchemist, I said at the "end" I would make it into a crossover. At that time, I was extremely obsessed with crossovers (which I still am lol), but I'm for sure not doing that, this will be following the FMAB plotline.
I've decided not to add human Barry the Chopper in this. As much as I think that episode is SOOOOOOO creepy and shows the more human, scared side of Edward, I just don't think it'll add anything to the story, other than the crew knowing who Barry is before the 5th Laboratory.
This story will be so much longer now, so expect it to be more than 14 chapters. I will be trying to follow most of the details of FMAB, with some side moments for Jayden.
Jayden's alchemy will be very similar to Ed and Al's, as in she mainly transmutes earth and makes weapons if needed. I'm not sure if Jayden should have the State title of the Blade Alchemist. I don't really know what else to call her though, I just thought of that State title on a whim, plus there were a lot of State titles taken in FMA. So if I do change her title, what do y'all think it should be?
If you're wondering who Kallie is, where Jayden's mom and dad are, then you'll just have to stay tuned! Hehehe, I'm not giving away all of my secrets!
That basically wraps up what I've got to say for now. I'm thankful to all of the people who have reviewed in the past (and hopefully the future). These reviewers really helped me open my eyes to how bad this story is. Looking back on this story has made me cringe to no end, I was so terrible at writing! I'm lucky to have improved, with the help of others, and from school too. I guess writing a lot of essays help with writing lol! I'm so much older now, so this story will be so much better than it is!
Please review! But if it's flaming, I will not stand for it. I take constructive criticism very well. Also DM me if you have any questions, suggestions, or anything that will help me improve this story. I will try to respond as fast as possible!
Thanks for sticking with me and I'm really sorry this Note was so long, I promise ANs won't be as long as this one.
Words: 3105
Yuuki Hitsuguya