"Goddamn woman, stealing all my goddamn earthly possessions." The gigantic man next to Gabriel Kirk wasn't a particularly sunny individual, but he didn't care; he was too excited to be going to the Starfleet Academy and achieve his lifelong dream; to fly, like his father. The man turned to Gabe and scowled. "One crack in these windows and we all fry, you know that?"
"What is your problem, gigantor?" Gabe asked, looking at the man properly for the first time. "If you don't like flying, why the hell are you joining Starfleet?"
"My goddamn wife took the entire planet in the divorce!" The tall man yelled. "All I got left is my bones!" Gabriel laughed.
"Well, Bones, it's a pleasure to meet you. I'm Gabe Kirk. Welcome to Starfleet. And might I say, if you're all proportional, we're going to have one /hell/ of a time."
Gabe and Bones, whose name, it turned out, was Sam Winchester, became fast friends. Sam was a doctor on Earth, and had trained to be a medical officer onboard a Starship, whilst Gabe tried to follow in his father's footsteps to become the Captain of a one of the greatest ships in the universe. Between sampling the womanly goods across the campus and gambling what little money he had away, Gabe studied relentlessly to pass the tests. The only one he couldn't pass was the Kobayashi Maru.
"I'll pass it this time, Sammy, I just know it!" Gabe exclaimed as they strode across the campus green. "I've studied, I've done everything, I just have to pass it this time." Sam scoffed and looked down at his shorter companion.
"I've heard of people taking the Kobayashi Maru twice, three times rarely, but five? You're out of your goddamn mind!" He looked fondly at his wild friend, but knew that Gabe was mad. "No one, not anyone, passes that test. Try to accept defeat gracefully for once, Gabe."
"Nope," Gabriel decided, popping the 'p' and grinning. "See you when I pass!"
Sam just knew he would be cheating. Gabe couldn't lose. It was his biggest weakness.
When Gabriel passed the test, he told Sam the details of his cheating in between kisses at their apartment. They had saved up for it together once they got to the Academy and hadn't been too disappointed at the fact it only had one bedroom and one bed. In fact, it was preferred to any other situation.
"You're a filthy cheat, you know that?" Sam asked, pulling Gabe's red blazer off and tossing it onto their tiny sofa. "They're going to catch you. I can't do anything, either. Why couldn't you just have accepted that some things you can't change?" The last thing he wanted was for Gabe to be kicked out of the training programme because his ego needed boosting.
"I couldn't let it go," he panted "because if I gave up on impossible situations, I wouldn't have convinced you to..." he couldn't catch his breath whilst Sam was busy trying to unfasten his trousers and push them both into the bedroom. "You would have never agreed to have a drink with me." The vulnerable side of Gabe didn't appear very often but when it did, it was adorable. "Now shut up and get on with making me forget my sinful ways or I swear on my father's grave I'll-" Finishing that sentence became impossible.
It wasn't going well for Gabe, Sam thought. It was bad enough that he couldn't stand up and help his... friend/lover/colleague, but now Spock was tearing him a new one? Like he thought he was God? Not fair.
"You misunderstood the meaning behind the test, Mr Kirk. The principle of the test is to learn how to react in a no-win scenario, in the face of certain failure and certain death." The Science Officer had quickly become the bane of Gabriel's existence. Calling him out on cheating, encouraging, he was sure, suspension... until the alarms sounded.
"Sam, you have to take me with you! You can't go rushing off into battle like this without me! What happened to Kirk and Bones? To brothers in arms, to comrades and camaraderie, to Gigantor and the Trickster, to Samsquatch and Archangel?" He begged, almost running to keep up with Sam's long strides. "Gabriam? Work in progress, but still!"
"First off, you gave us those nicknames, they were never a thing. I'll give you Bones but that's the only one. Second, you've been suspended! What am I supposed to do?" Sam felt genuinely sorry for his honey-eyed lover, who was suddenly dejected, realising possibly, in fact /probably/ for the first time the consequences of his actions in the Kobayashi test.
"You're right. Be safe, Sammy." Sam sighed and stopped walking.
"Come with me, you ass." Gabe looked so thrilled, so ecstatic at the prospect of not being left behind, that Sam had to turn his face away to hide his smile. "I can't promise that it'll work, but here." Stabbing him in the neck [and getting no small amount of vindictive pleasure from the action] with a hypo, he smirked at Gabe's protests. "It's a vaccine, you'll be coming up with the symptoms of the disease soon. I'll try to sneak you onboard the Enterprise with me."
Gabriel could have kissed him.
It was only after he'd been kicked off the ship for mutiny, found the older version of the Science Officer [whose name he had quite forgotten] and picked up two geeky strays by the names of Castiel Scott and Dean who-cares-about-your-name [an ugly, stout fellow from some forgotten, backwards planet] that he realised he didn't like not having Bones near him at all times.
"Gabriel Kirk, I do believe you are in love with your Chief Medical Officer," Castiel commented as he wrote the equation for trans-warp beaming onto the Enterprise's computer. "No man hugs their CMO like that unless they want to engage in sexual activities with them." Gabe responded to the Scottish dweeb with a few choice curse words and a stab at Castiel's relationship with Dean. "No point in calling me Castiel; I prefer Cas, Cassie or Scotty. Dean's choice." Although Gabe wanted to tell Cas about the fact that he regularly engaged in such activities, he just made one last jibe to the short-tempered, ever-present Dean, and left for the bridge.
Lucifer had taken Sam hostage and really that was the last straw for Gabe. He beamed aboard the Romulan ship and looked the crazed Captain straight in the face.
"Luci, you're a fellow Captain," oh, how being able to call himself Captain gave him a rush. "and I love you... well, I don't, but I would work with you if you toed Starfleet's line, but you're a great big bag of dicks. Turn your creepy-ass ship away from Earth or I will not hesitate to kill you." He had Bones' arm around his shoulder and his phaser trained on the shifty Romulan who laughed and muttered something about being brothers with Kirk, who scoffed. "I don't think we would ever be brothers, Luci. You killed my father, remember? Now let us the hell out of here."
"You won't be going anywhere, Gabriel Kirk. You're not leaving here alive, and neither is your precious boyfriend." Gabe nearly gave up when other Romulans surrounded them, when he heard a shouted "Son of a bitch!" behind him, a voice he recognised as the mud-monkey Dean.
"Hey, assbutt!" Castiel quickly stunned Lucifer, the cheeky bugger, whilst Dean and two other redshirts took out the rest of the rogue crew. How the socially inept Scotsman knew they needed backup, Gabe never found out, but he couldn't have been more grateful.
"I bet you never thought I'd be the one taking care of you, hey Samsquatch?" Gabe asked with a grin. Sam was on bedrest at the Academy whilst he recovered from the various broken bones and injuries inflicted upon him whilst in Lucifer's care. Much to his dismay, Gabe had appointed himself as the 'nurse'.
"I don't need anyone to take care of me, Gabe. Go and study, or get ready for your ceremony." Bones was incredibly proud of his friend, and even though Gabriel couldn't take care of a goldfish, let alone another human being, he was glad when his friend refused to leave his side. Sam had gone from being a bitter divorcee with nothing but his bones to being a respected Medical Officer with a best friend and a trusted crew.
"They won't make me an official Captain until my crew recovers from the last mission we went on, including you, Bones. So hurry up and get better, because I've waited for long enough for this. Besides, why would I leave the man I love in bed alone?" Okay, so Sam had more than just a best friend, he found out; he had a lover with a complete disregard for the rules and a penchant for being horrendously reckless.
But what a lover he was.