"Appreciation is a wonderful thing: It makes what is excellent in others belong to us as well. "

-Voltaire

Chapter 1

Harry Potter and the Power Rangers found themselves, suddenly, by a flash of green light from a particle transponder, on the main deck of the Enterprise (Next Generation version).

"Oh Shit!" exclaimed Captain Picard, jumping to the side of his space-chair and fingering his phaser sincerely.

Data, unsurprised as usual, waved to the stowaways. There was nobody else in the chamber at that moment because they were out getting lunch.

Harry Potter whipped his wand out of his pants and aimed it, alternating between Captain Picard, Data, and the Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers. The Power Rangers somersaulted and cartwheeled to strategic places around the consoles in the room, making ineffective, but cool-looking pseudo-martial-arts poses.

Captain Picard stopped fingering his blaster and attempted to draw order, "Listen: I don't know what's going on here, but unless you want trouble, you better tell me right now what's going on here! Buddies?"

"Buddies," Harry said, shortly, but not very trustworthily. Harry's real buddies were far away, the thought as he stared at outer space through the observation windshield.

"Buddies," said the black ranger – the red one who was actually a black person (red is the highest-ranking color).

"Buddies," said Data, "Or at least buddies you all will be when you all find out why I have brought you all here!"

Everyone except Data, the power rangers, and Harry Potter gasped.

"Let me show you a little something, hmm?" Data entered some codes into the mainframe and pushed some buttons. All of a sudden, the viewing screen suddenly came up, revealing what appeared to be an ordinary suburban house. Except inside this house was an extra-terrestrial alien lifeform – ALF.

Everyone was shocked at the repugnant sight of this creature. The power rangers cut their poses, and they all strode closer to the viewing screen to get a look.

"Shit," said Capt. Picard, "Looks like it's this piece of shit again."

The power ranger looked amongst themselves and shrugged. Harry Potter put his and on the good Captain's shoulder and whispered in his ear in a moist, hot breath, "Who – what exactly is that?"

The captain met Harry's bright green eyes and looked down at the floor, blushing.

"That's Alf. He's a scourge of every sector of space, and a piece of shit on top of it. He's a cat-eater."

Picard's fists clenched, knuckles whitened he finally met Harry's gaze, "He even ate mine!"

Harry stifled his laughter at the thought of this handsome old man's pussy being eaten.

There was an explosion. The enterprise shook, and everyone stumbled. Alf was staring at them all, coldly, without end.