watch me
summ: Bella jumps off the cliff and no one's there to catch her. [new moon]
author note: lol Bella is crazy. yes, that's a line from chapter 15 of New Moon. since I'm too lazy to re-read NM, Bella jumped off a cliff at a beach, right? i probably fail at present tense, though, so feel free to comment on that.
disclaim: I don't own Twilight, don't plan to, wouldn't want to be responsible, etc.
You wanted me to be human. Well, watch me.
Rain swirls around me, the wind whistling wetly. It spits in my face as I follow the path out to the ledge all the way to the top. A part of me wants to stop and go back and find Jacob again, but he was merely a bitter replacement. He would never fill Edward's shoes, and in the end I would end up hurting him.
The thought of Jake as a replacement disturbs me as I stumble up the undertow. Soon I was at the edge of a sharp drop into uncertain rushes and those thoughts melt and bend. I shed my clothes and bare my skin against the cold fingers that prickle down my back and toss them off the edge.
I dip my head and my eyes crane, peering all the way down at the expansive gash of water as it swallows my clothes. It swells with waves, and I catch my eyes chasing the falling droplets. I hear myself giggle and it sounds so hollow falling against whipping air and pattering rain.
One foot dangles off the edge now, hanging there for a moment. It was so high, it took your breath away and held there forever. Loose rocks make their way off the cliff as I edge closer and my feet toe the line between rock and dirt and the abyss below and the nothing above it.
I try to swallow, but my mouth is suddenly dry despite all the rain and tumbling waves below. There's blood rushing and beating against my temples with a sickening drum beat.
I smile. It felt twisted and mad as it tugs around my cheeks. The view of the ocean from here was beyond anything-I put a hand out, as if to scoop up the ocean and all this world has to offer. Colors distorted so strangely, yet it was all so beautiful.
The crashing of the waves, the rattling wind, the tapping rain-all of them a singularity. They join together now, marching with the distant drum of pure adrenaline pumping. There is nothing but the thrumming sound and-
"Bella." It's his willowy voice, but it sounds different as it rings through me and fills me with a terrible sense of reality. It's only the smooth echo of his voice and the sound of my heart in the orchestra tugging at my ears.
I feel him so close. His hands are the ocean, reaching out to me. Everything is there, he's there, but his voice-
"Please," he says in an off-tone, "save yourself." The waves rise and crash around the cliff as I poise myself. Wet strands of hair dance in my face and my hands reach up quickly to brush them off.
I'm doing this, I say to him. The seconds melt away and each tick of the clock feels like an eternity passes until I can be with him. I can hear him again, his voice breathy like the wind.
"Don't do this," he says repeatedly, each response quicker and quicker. My head rings and the smile tightens.
Together we will be, I say. On a cloud floating away for eternity.
"NO! DON'T!" Even in his anger he was tempting, and I swallow my breath.
There's not a single moment I regret.
There was no waiting, no time to prepare yourself-it was just GO. My body moves on its own, legs and knees clicking automatically and feet springing off the board like the cliff was just a gigantic diving board, gone from under me. I reach with my arms, my hands flashing for Edward's.
Catch me, Edward. I trust you.
The way down-it's a shock of beauty. Time traps me as my body rips through space, and eternity looks beautiful as I look upon it. I feel the wind and the rain but hear none of it but the sound of his voice.
Edward... I see him now. He's come to save me.
"Bella!" he calls, his cold hands reaching and holding me close. "Don't you ever do that again!" I collide with the slick hardness of his body, the shock shaking me and twisting my arms and legs and spine into each other.
"Stay with me, Bella." he says. "Together again."
I feel his cold hands fold over mine, wet and enveloping. His voice fills my lungs and my ears and a giddy rush pulses through and out of me. My eyes flutter as I struggle to smile in this circle of happiness.
I love you, Edward...
"As do I," he says, his velvet-smooth voice fading. "We'll have eternity now."
Eternity.
ᵒзᵒ scotch on the rocks ᵒзᵒ