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-SORRYIFYOUTHOUGHTIWASGONE

Hoshi: I thought I was done with Smash Bros, honestly. I didn't really have any more ideas. Then both Robins and Lucina were confirmed. I'm happy to be wrong as usual.

Warning: Het, slash, femslash, crack. The Robins are OOC as all get out, and I might have given up on making everyone else IC. This story doesn't really have a reason until the last chapter. And a TON of Fire Emblem: Awakening spoilers! Beat that game first if you care about spoilers!

The Robins will always be referred to as "Robins," but Male Robin will be singularly referred to as "Marc" (what Morgan was called in the Japanese) while Female Robin is singularly referred to as "Robin." If I ever talk about the Morgans, Male Morgan will be singularly referred to as "Linfan" (what Morgan is called in non-English European versions of Awakening) while Female Morgan is singularly referred to as "Morgan."

-BECAUSEI'MNOT

"Ah…it's done." Marc wiped the sweat off his brow. Robin drew in a few more adjustments with her own marker.

"Now it's done." She corrected. Marc looked it over thoughtfully and nodded.

"Phase One start!" The Robins declared in unison.

Mario

The red clad plumber was enjoying a peaceful lunch when the Robins sat down on either side of him with their food. Mario turned in Robin's direction and saw that she was wearing an unusually elegant dress. There was a tiara atop her snowy locks as well. Was this that cosplay thing he kept hearing about? He then turned in Marc's direction.

…he was wearing the exact same dress and tiara as Robin was.

Neither of the Robins seemed to think anything was out of the ordinary as they continued to eat. To say that Mario was confused was an understatement…

"Your food will get cold, Mario." Marc pointed out as sparkles seemed to surround him.

"Yes, you should eat." Robin chimed in as sparkles also surrounded her for some reason.

Mario didn't know if it was the sparkles, but the two looked prettier than normal. How odd…

.-.-.-.-.

"Why are you two wearing-a dresses?" Mario finally asked after the two had insisted on trailing after him.

"What are talking about?" Robin cocked her head to the side. "It's normal for us as princesses."

"Princesses?" the plumber echoed. "Isn't-a Marc a guy, though?"

"A man can be a princess." Marc asserted, crossing his arms.

"I thought Lucina was-a the princess." Mario said. "Of Ylisse."

Marc and Robin then exchanged looks.

"He knows." Marc said.

"How did he know?" Robin asked.

"ABORT MISSION ABORT!" Marc suddenly yelled. Robin took out smoke pellets and threw them to the ground, a cloud of dust obscuring their escape.

Well, they would've escaped if Marc hadn't tripped over his heels.

"HOW DO YOU RUN IN THESE FEET-KILLING ABOMINATIONS?!"

"I TOLD YOU TO GET THE LOW HEEL SHOES!" Robin went back to drag him away from the scene. "BUT NO, YOU JUST HAD TO SHOW OFF AND BE FABULOUS."

"I LOOK GOOD IN HIGH HEELS, THOUGH."

"These Smash Bros. newcomers get-a weirder and-a weirder…" Mario thought aloud.

.-.-.-.-.

"You wanted me to like-a you?" Mario asked. Apparently, that was the reason for the dresses?

"Well, it was more to prove that I'd look good in anything on my part." Marc confessed.

"We knew you liked princesses, so we thought about dressing like some. It was rather impertinent to try and pass off as some, though." Robin blushed.

"I know. There are no princesses that match up to my beauty anyway…" Marc pointed…out? Sparkles came back to surround him again as well. "We were easy to spot from the start."

"You didn't need to be-a princesses for me to like-a you." Mario gave them a smile. "Let's just-a be friends as fellow-a smashers."

"That sounds like a good idea!" The Robins agreed, more sparkles surrounding them in a blinding aura.

It was a weird feeling, though. To have someone go to that length for Mario… The princesses usually just sent him letters and items and food, but while that was nice they never seemed to express an interest in just talking with him. It was…nice.

WAIT, HE HAD PRINCESS PEACH, WHAT WAS HE THINKING?!

And all the while, the two Robins smiled widely.

Luigi

"GHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSTS!" Luigi cried as he ran. Where was his Poltergust 5000 when he needed it the most?!

"Nosferatu!" Marc commanded, dark magic dragging the spirits into the ground.

In Luigi's vision, this heroic figure was bathed in heavenly light as sparkles surrounded him. There were even angels singing in the background as clouds floated around them.

In reality, Marc's eyes glowed a demonic purple as his too wide smile grew feral, delighting in the spirits being absorbed for his own benefit. And in the background somewhere was a fellgod dragon shedding a single proud tear.

"Are you all right?" Robin asked, sparkles surrounding her as well and making her look just as heroic as Luigi vision's Marc. Nevermind that the sword she was holding was stained in blood that ghosts weren't supposed to have.

"Y-yes!" Luigi answered. Sure he had Daisy and shouldn't even entertain the thoughts, but Daisy never protected him so coolly before!

'Checkmate.' The two Robins thought. 'How surprisingly easy.'

Bowser

"How are we supposed to make a turtle creature fall in love with one of us?" Marc asked Robin.

"You already made two plumbers fall in love with you." She pointed out.

"But those two were easy." He protested. "You're the one with experience in seducing males."

"So what, you want me to get kidnapped by him then?" Robin took out the princess dress again. "Ugh…I don't like playing the damsel in distress."

"Fine, I'll do it then." Marc said as he put the dress on.

'You just want an excuse to look fabulous in high heels again.' Robin sighed.

.-.-.-.-.

"Oh woe is me, helpless princess that I am!" Marc shouted in mock distress. "Won't somebody kidnap me?!"

"Marc, that's now how you act like a princess waiting to be kidnapped!" Robin protested. "Be girlier!"

Marc stared at the pink dress he was wearing and wondered just how much girlier he was supposed to get.

"Ugh, let me show you how it's done." Robin walked into his space, dressed in the same garment.

"But, Robin," he protested, "you're even less ladylike than Lissa sometimes."

"Am not!" She denied, performing a rather jerky curtsey. "Lissa would've torn her dress." She pointed out proudly.

Just then a big green blur swooped in and stole her away.

"…he didn't kidnap me." Marc said in disbelief. Flames gathered around him, rising to the ceiling at exponential speed. "HOW DARE HE?! AS IF I'M NOT PRETTY ENOUGH!"

.-.-.-.-.

"…you're not Peach." Bowser realized.

"No, I'm pretty sure I'm not a fruit." Robin agreed. "I'm even better." She winked. Bowser was half weirded out and half attracted. On the one hand, his hostage just flirted with him, but on the other, his hostage just flirted with him. Confidence was attractive.

"BOWSER." Marc destroyed the door with a thoron spell. "I hope you're ready to die."

"I'm sorry I kidnapped your sister!" Bowser quickly handed Robin to Marc.

"I don't care about that, she wanted to be kidnapped anyway." Marc waved a hand dismissively. "Why didn't you kidnap me? I'm a princess too." He crossed his arms and pouted.

"…what?" Bowser asked stupidly.

"If you kidnapped us both, we would've been even better than Peach by helping you with your evil plans."

"Wait, I thought you two were good guys." The Koopa King scratched the top of his shell in confusion.

"You are forgetting that we are self-insert canon sues that are vessels for a fellgod dragon." Robin said. In that moment, black flames rose behind them as an image of Grima towered up high, cackling darkly. Their eyes also glowed purple for that second as their vessel marks shined the same eerie shade.

"…that's hot." Bowser nodded.

'Another one bites the dust.' The Robins thought.

Peach

"So…do we kidnap her or something?" Marc asked his female counterpart. She grimaced at the thought.

"I highly doubt she would fall in her love with her kidnapper!" She shook her head. "Only a depraved creep would think such a stunt would work."

"Ah, you're right." Marc nodded. "So, should I kidnap her and let you rescue her?"

"I don't think she'd fall in love with a one time savior." Robin cocked her head. "She only likes Mario because he saves her so many times, and we can't compete with that. And she rewards him of her own volition too, so the feelings are certainly reciprocated."

"…let's bake her a cake." Marc suggested.

"What if she thinks we're trying to get her chubby or something?" the palm of Robin's hand met her face. "Really, Marc, you just don't understand girls."

"I do too!" He shook his fist at her. "I've only married like…fifty of them. Half the time, I just went with the flow of the conversation too. How many women have you seduced, unintentionally or otherwise?"

Robin opened her mouth to say something.

"Tharja does not count." He said, voice low and cold. Robin closed her mouth again. "Neither does Flavia, for that matter. She wanted to adopt you."

"But she said it so marriage proposal-like!" Robin protested. She then contemplated the question silently. "…I've never really seduced a woman before. They just tried to seduce me." She decided, eyes widening. "Do you know what this means?" Her eyes sparkled. "Dibs! I'm going to seduce my first girl!"

"Robin, wait!" Marc called after as she ran off. He ran after her. "You don't know the finer points of seducing women! You have to charm-!"

"Oh, Robin!" Peach cut him off, throwing her gloved arms around his female counterpart. "You're amazing! I love you!"

'…how did she do that?' Marc looked on in confusion.

Rosalina and Luma

"Another girl to seduce!" Robin cheered, throwing a fist in the air.

"Robin, please." Marc attempted to calm her down. "How can you think of seducing another girl when that tiny creature over there is so cute?!" He pointed to the luma that was floating off to its own. Quickly grabbing said creature, he started to cuddle it with a content smile on his face.

"Marc, your fascination with cute things confuses me." She rolled her eyes at the display.

"Just hug it!" Marc passed the luma to her. She sighed and gave it a hug, cuddling it half-heartedly.

"I fail to see how this is supposed to help us with winning Rosalina over." She tossed the luma back to him.

"Maybe we can start with returning her partner?" He suggested. He then let the luma go as he stared at something with sparkles in his eyes. "Or…all of her partners…"

"All…?" Robin took note of the look in his eyes and turned to see that the room they were in was suddenly occupied with a whole group of luma in various colors. "What the-?!" She was cut off by the black blur that was Marc dive tackling one of the luma.

"Ahhhh….!" He cuddled a dark blue luma. "I'm naming this one Chrom II!"

Robin shook her head at the sight, but knowing that the luma was called 'Chrom II' did make it seem cuter somehow.

.-.-.-.-.

"Thank you so much for finding them." Rosalina bowed in gratitude. "I didn't know these little ones would run off and get lost so easily."

"Oh, it was no problem." Robin flashed her a confident smile. "You can call us again if you need to. In fact, it'd be good if you gave us your number."

Rosalina ignored her in favor of watching Marc play with one of the luma. They seemed to be enjoying themselves as well. It warmed her heart.

"I didn't expect you to get along with them so well." She knelt closer to him.

"Oh, I'm always like this with small, cute things." He rubbed the back of his head in embarrassment. "It's kind of an aspect of my weird protective streak, I guess. But I'm always happy when they seem to like me back."

"I don't think it's weird at all." Rosalina chuckled. "In fact…it's rather attractive…" The lumas then formed a heart shape over her head without her noticing. In fact, whole groups of lumas started forming heart shapes around the two. "You're welcome to come see me and the lumas again any time, if you'd like." She blushed.

'What…the heck?' Robin stared on in confusion. 'He likes the luma more than you too…'

-THAT'SNOTHOWLOVEWORKS

Hoshi: Ahhh…fic nonsense… I missed this. Haven't read much fanfiction in a while, so if someone's already done an idea like this, well, you have like a 99.9999...9% chance of being waaaaay better than this story, so I don't think you should be that angry.