FADING DAWN
As dawn pours, the twilight draws near.

I used to think you were useless. You were too merciful. Your powers are too gentle, a breeze trying to push down a tree. You used to show flashy sparks that seems to match the blazing sun, but upon those shone upon was the hand of a forgiving Goddess calling everything to repentance.

I mocked you, shown you the darkness of the earth. I had opened your eyes to the violence the world could create. You saw the way the rich treated the needy, how those who have power trampled the weak. Yet you still shed your light upon them. I wanted you to realize the cruelty of the earth; you gave them a taste of heaven's kindness.

I did not know if it was my own cruelty that I exposed you to the depths of the earth, hoping your radiant smile would fade. But as the darker the things I had shown you, the brighter your light became.

Your smile of innocence turned to a smile of pity and concern, the naivety you used to have matured to deep understanding of their pain. But me, my annoyance with you grew to hatred and anger. I sought power, Infinity's power, in order to crush your smile. But it was unbreakable. You always tailed me wherever I go, maybe it was my own stubbornness that became my blunder. I had let you, hoping that the grimmer things would happen, yet your light still made a way.

I had lived a life that was painful and bloody, a life where the strong lives and the weak are preyed upon. You gave those who were preyed upon a chance to fight back, the strong one a thing to fight for. I lived as a shadow of a Master, a follower trying to pave his own way. You gave up your way for the benefit of all.

The way you look at things I had desired and despised it at the same time. It reminded me of my broken past that was mended by him, it showed me the things he had fought for and at the same time my weakness. You both exhibited light, it was warm and radiant, not like my water deep, dark and cold.

I had once tried to fight you, my resolve to crush you has so strong the Lion had backed down the challenge he had scheduled us to have. I have been boiling deep down that instead of water, steam followed me. But it took only a piece of paper to take me down. It was your response, a piece of old paper, a glyph, that shined so bright it burned on itself. Or was it the smile you had during that time? Your smile that was not of mockery or pity nor was smile not of calculative nature or craftiness that I always wear, it was of innocence and light. It was like of a mother I never knew, a mother waiting for her son to come back, A Goddess calling the lost back to her embrace. I ran away that time and for the second time I felt I was important. I felt that you wanted me to live, not exhaust my self seething inside out.

Maybe your kindness rubbed off on me, my fist had been gentler for quite a time now. The flower of strength have wilted, a new one is starting to bloom. Maybe my smile had been a less creepy that the last, the crafty nature of it dissolving into plain playfulness. I am longing for more company now, to a family that I had always shoved away.

It was your light that opened my eyes to the wonder the world hidden in its painful twist. It was you who had taken me off my past that he had tried and failed. It was you who had taken of the shackles of my memories, the weight of my weakness. It was you who completely took me out of the labyrinth of facelessness and identity. You gave the fox a hole to be called a home.

But while I had found mine, little did I know you haven't found yours. In the evenings I tailed you hoping to find your strength in your nocturnal rituals. What I found was you crying. I wanted to give you a shoulder to cry on so many times, but I could find the way to open up. I found it easier to listen to your sobs and think of the scenarios that lead to it. I thought you were crying for others, just as you always do at the day. So I let you all alone in the starry sky and silent nights. I let the nocturne darkness be your solace instead of me.

I was so selfish, I let you fix me yet I did not let me fix you. You put up that innocence at the day yet you let it all out at night. What made my feelings hurt was I was letting you.

I remembered the time I mustered up at the courage I have to speak to you. It was during the lunar eclipse, when the sky was red and you were crying in the rooftops. I was taken aghast at first seeing you with two black wings. But I pushed on. It was the first time I ever saw you broke down, but probably it was yours.

It was when I first understood your powers, the reason of your divine light. I came to understand in between you wails and sobs your story, your purifying mercy because you actually carry the essence of the divine. Yet it was when I first saw the darkness in you. That as you wail out true fear was written in your face, despair and anguish was with you all day long.

I was shattered, you the one who carried the most painful past of all dating for over centuries was the cheerful girl that changed me. I felt sick with myself letting my past overtake me, it was nothing compared to yours. But you told me it was not mine to be dealing with. You fell asleep in my embrace that night. At that night I first felt the fragility and insignificance of my life.

I woke up with you still in my arms, the sun will rise soon. I felt torn, will I risk myself to be seen in a compromising position with you, or will I stay and watch over the girl who holds the world I knew of. I stayed silently making a vow to be a pillar you can support on.

After that incident I look at you in a new light, a strong one needing somebody to lean on. My old habit of joking and playing tricks on you began to vanish and be replaced with a watchful eye. Even they noticed that. But I didn't care anymore. I did not know why, but I feel I need to do this. Even If my calculative and rational mind can't put up a logical reason to protect you I felt wary. Wary that you might breakdown any minute, wary that the next day I will not be able to see your smile again.

For the record I hated my intuition for the first time ever. You began drifting away, less tailing more closing in your room. I still get to see you cry at night but as I carefully close in, you fly away when I am three steps away. Whenever I glance at you, you will always sigh and walk away. Your smiles turn to frowns, your laughter into cringes. I felt annoyed more than ever.

The reason of your anguish is the desperation of your past lives taking their lives alone and secluded, some taking their lives on their own hands. You told me you were gonna leave the Chase, for that had been how you had to live.

I never saw you the day after that. I waited for days, then weeks, and then months. You never came back. I felt crushed, empty, lost. The one who gave meaning to me took it all away. I felt toyed, like an old weapon thrown away after being used for so long. Like vapor, a moment there the next gone.

After some time Jin decided to make me choose. Be the moping mess you left me, or take the next step of the way of a disciple, to be the next teacher. I wanted to look for you, yet I remembered that the reason I can stand is because you decided to break me. So I decided to break the outer shell of others, ad bring out the potential in them, just as you did for me. I thought that if did the same things as you did, you would come back, or at least I felt closer to you in some way.

The Chase was happy for me, the old habit of ignoring and sneering at me was gone, and I felt their admiration and pride. You took a backseat from my mind, the will to help others took over. Sometimes at night, I would look into the stars, hoping that you are seeing the same stars as I am.

Morning came. I was awakened by Jin, the old rival now my true brother in spirit, well we had the same spiritual father anyway. He had an unfathomable look in his face, like a fire that was either dying of a spark that was to ignite. He told me to come down.

We gathered as the Chase, only we born of Aerneas remained. They told me they found someone lying in the forest nearby. When I looked at the body, no the one who was struggling to survive, I saw you, yet it was not you. She wore the same clothes before you left, she had the same name, Rin, and she had the same weapon. Heck she even had the same abilities; she even had almost same wings. Only the wings were black and white.

She recovered after a week, but it seems she had lost her memories. When I looked at her I saw my old self, bitter and angry, seeking for revenge like it was the only thing that would keep her alive. There I saw that she was not you, winds oozing with killing intent, glyphs hungry for blood.

From that I day I decided, I would mold her to be like you, shedding light and purifying darkness. You once told me, darkness in itself is not evil, I was a power that was just easy to twist when raw. I reached for her and continually sought her. It was not easy, she used to ran away from me, like I did.

But day by day, I saw, I realized, she is you, lost in the depths of darkness.

You came back to me, yet you were not the one.

Can I fix you, as how you fixed me?

Honestly I can't even consider this a story, I just need to vent out frustrations.
Frustrations on my life, on my mentor, on the place I used to call my Destiny. It hurts that when you fall and everyone thinks you can stand on your own, even calling you a back-slider for not being the way they want you to be. Heck I have a life.

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Enough about my rants. This is neither edited nor given a second glance after typing. If you are worrying about Grammars's life and want to give me a dose of your medicine, send your prescription via PM. That's right shove that grammar correction down my email, not on the comments/review section.
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I give you the permission to throw all your flames at me, maybe that is what it takes to thaw a frozen heart