Inside the Absence of Fear
He was gone. He was gone. He was gone.
" Vegeeeeeeeeeeeeetaaaa!" Bulma cried out, not caring if the whole world heard her. " I love you, come back." she whimpered through her tears, kneeling in the grass.
"Go away!" she pushed a frightened Joon away. " I have to go home. To Capsule Corp. To Vegeta." she stood up. Oh Vegeta, forgive me , she thought, I was so wrong. I need you.
Inside my skin, there is this space
it twists and turns, it bleeds and aches
Inside my heart, there's an empty room,
it's waiting for lightening, it's waiting for you
On the plane, Bulma tortured herself, replaying the scene in the park,
in her head over and over again. Vegeta, thin and pale. And she has thought "is he like that because he needs me? because he....loves me?" And then she had saw it. In his eyes. Love so deep, it made her hurt. And she knew without a doubt, that she had been wrong, so wrong in doubting him. In leaving him.
" And he saw Joon." Bulma whispered to herself as she cried yet again. Joon, who she never really liked in the first place, and had only dated twice.
Bulma had hurt Vegeta so bad. She saw it in his eyes, his face, his whole body before he flew away.
" Please forgive me Vegeta." she whispered fervently, as the pilot announced their arrival in West Capital City.
And I am wanting
And I am needing you here
Inside the absence of fear
She ran into Capsule Corp, leaving her bags outside on the curb.
"Vegeta!" she called, racing through the building, searching for him. "Vegeta!" she ran to gravity room. The door handle was dusty. " Vegeta?" she
whispered hoarsely turning away. Where is he?
"Bulma?" Mrs. Briefs ran into the hallway upon hearing her daughter's voice.
" Mom?" Bulma looked up, sobbing, and hiccuping.
" Oh baby, what's wrong?" Mrs. Briefs wrapped her arms around her miserable daughter.
" Vegeta...he's...he's gone! And I need him so much! I love him too much. And he loves me.....I know it! "
" Hush darling, and I'll tell you about the first two months after you left." Bulma looked at her mother, and tried to smile. They went up to Bulma and Vegeta's apartments. They were filthy. The curtains we drawn, and there was a large gaping hole in the west wall. On the coffee table in front of the t.v., all the pictures of Bulma were lined up. Mother and daughter sat on the rumpled couch together. " When your father and I found Vegeta, he was sitting numbly , slumped against the wall, by your letter. The hole was already in the wall, so I assume he did it before we found him. I walked over to him and touched his shoulder, and he began to cry. Great wracking sobs, and I thought his chest would explode with the force of his tears."
" Oh Mama, I was so wrong.We could have worked it out. " Bulma whispered, picking up a picture of her and Vegeta. It was the one and only picture of them together where they were both smiling.
" For 2 months, he didn't come out of these rooms. He didn't eat. The door was locked and barricaded, and I couldn't get in. Then, finally, Goku-san came and broke down the door, and convinced Vegeta to go after you. He hasn't been back since." Mrs. Breifs finished sadly.
" He found me with a....a...date." Bulma spit out, hating herself so very very much." And I saw the love, then the hurt on his face before he flew away."
" Oh dear... I don't know what to say. Maybe he'll come back"
" Maybe...." But Bulma had no hope.
Muscle and sinew, velvet and stone
this vessel is haunted, it creaks and moans
My bones call to you, in their separate skin
make myself translucent, to let you in
It had been a month since Bulma had been home. And not one word fromVegeta. Bulma held the gun to her head as she thought this thought over and over again.
No Vegeta, no Vegeta....
" I ruined it," she thought aloud to herself, " he hates me, and I love him even more." Tears streamed down her face, and could barely hold the gun to her head, her hand was shaking so much. She seemed to be doing a lot of that now: crying. She was in their bedroom, standing in front of the bed. The bed she used to make love to Vegeta in. She could still smell him on the sheets. A dirty shirt of his that had been thrown on the floor 3 months was still laying in a pile by her feet. All these reminders of Vegeta, of what life could have been like. All the moments to push Bulma over the edge.
" I love you so much Vegeta." she whispered, and cocked the gun.
* * * *
Vegeta was sitting by the stream in his private, island haven, thinking, as he did every day, of Bulma.
" I'm sorry I pushed you away Bulma." he whispered.
Suddenly a bad feeling came over him. It was so bad; it was roaring in his ears, and choking him , like bile rising up in his throat.
Bulma!
Something was wrong, Bulma was in danger, and he knew it, in that instant. He flew as fast as he could to Capsule Corp, hoping desperately it wasn't too late.
* * * *
Bulma was about to pull the trigger, when a certain calm washed over her. She stopped crying.
" No more pain." she said. In that instant, a figure hurled though the closed door, shouting her name. She whirled around, dropping the gun on the bed.
" Vegeta!" she cried , and ran to him , throwing herself in his arms. He folded his arms around her so tight, crushing her to him. She had almost killed herself ! His heart beat wildly, and he jus kept holding her. Kame, he had waited so long to do that.
" Oh Vegeta, Vegeta... I love you I love you I love you. Kame, I need you Vegeta." Bulma whispered against his neck.
" Little Bulma-chan, what were you doing?" he asked tenderly, suddenly forgetting all the hurt. He gently raised her chin, and looked down at her tear-streaked, puffy face.
" Oh Vege-chan, I hurt you so bad, I did horrible things. And then you hated me, and were never coming back, and I didn't want to live without you."
" But I was the one who drove you away. I never said the things you needed to hear."
" I should've known you felt them though. I need you so much."
" Bulma, Bulma. I love you. Kame, how I love you! I only stayed away because I thought you had gotten over me." he leaned down and nipped the tip f her nose.
" I told you Vege-chan. I'll never , ever get over you. I love you." She closed her eyes, and her lips found his, and it felt to her, like dry earth finally getting rain, or that she had been staving, and was finally being fed.
" My Bulma...." he murmured against her mout.
I am wanting
And I am needing you here
Inside the absence of fear
Vegeta lowered Bulma to the bed, holding her tenderly in his strong embrace, kissing every curve of her body, and remembering every secret spot. Bulma could do nothing but sigh as he filled her, body, heart, and soul.
There is the hunger, this restlessness inside of me
and it knows that you're no stranger, you're my gravity
My hands will adore you through all darkness aim,
They will lay you out in the moonlight, and reinvent your name
" Don't ever leave me again." Vegeta whispered against Bulma's neck, as they lay entangled in each other's arms, later that night.
" I love you Vege-chan."
" I love you, Bulma no Oujo."
For I am wanting
And l am needing you here
l need you, near
lnside the absence of fear.
THE END.
Song called " Inside the Absence of Fear" by Jewel