A/N: So this is the second installment of my series, Complex. It doesn't really further the plot too much, but I'm trying to put more into this series, so here you go.

Warnings: self-harm, suicidal thoughts, underage sex

You sit in your room, staring at the pair of scissors in your hands. They are sharp, and the blade is cold. Instead of moving, you only stare for the moment.

The scissors mock you in the silver blade. It reflects your face back at you, and you can see the tear-tracks that stain it. You want to throw the scissors across the room, but they remain with you, clenched in your hand, because you can't summon the willpower to chuck them.

The words echo in your brain. I didn't know Feli had a brother. Yeah, he's an asshole. I heard he doesn't have any friends. That Spanish guy is just with him out of pity.

No matter how many times you try to do something good for yourself and the people close to you, everyone else throws it back into your face. Your entire life is garbage, so why not just throw it out? Would anyone even notice?

Antonio would notice. Or at least, you like to think that he would notice. It's a nice thought, and keeps you from getting into too much trouble at school for your foul mouth or just mouthing off in class in general. It keeps you from jumping off a bridge.

It's two in the morning, and you have school tomorrow. You should just go to bed, because you already know that you will regret this in the morning. Regret both of these things. The late nights and the scissors.

Rather than calling it what it really is, you can only refer to it as scissors, even in your own head. You can't even admit to yourself. Pathetic.

You pull out your phone with your other hand, sending a text to your boyfriend. Texting won't wake him up if he's already asleep, even though you need a distraction and hope he is awake. Instead of hearing his voice like you want to, you'll just hope he's awake. Antonio is usually up late anyway.

It would be just your luck for him to have fallen asleep early tonight.

A few minutes later, your phone buzzes with a text message from Antonio. It just says hello in response to your greeting, and you suddenly have no idea what to say.

You want to talk to him, but you don't know what to say. Unsure of what to say to him, you just ask him why he's still awake, like you normally would if you were in the habit of texting people in the middle of the night.

Haha I guess it's just cause i can't fall asleep when i'm thinking about you ;)

A groan almost escapes your lips at the stupidly romantic, cheesy shit that just came out of his mouth. This is the worst you've had to endure yet. But you text back all the same.

What the hell

Suddenly you wish that he was here, because things always seem better when he's here with you. Things never seem so dark or sad when Antonio's smile is lighting up the room. You miss him so much, because winter break is too long.

Why are you still awake Lovi?

This is your chance to ask for the help that your subconscious knows you need. The help that the red, angry lines on your arm tells you to get. But you can't. You just… can't do it.

Couldn't sleep

Welcome to my world :)

Ugh

Even just texting him makes you feel better, if only because it takes your mind off of the activity you were doing before. The scissors sit next to your leg, having finally put them down to be able to text better.

Are you ready for jenkin's class tomorrow

No that bastard is an idiot

Tru XD

The stupid emojis that he uses make you smile, even through your tears. You usually hate them, but tonight they are a welcome quirk.

I hate that guy

everyone does

yeah

A soft smile is settled on your face, where no one could see it; just the way you liked it. Your forearm still hurts, but it's at the back of your mind now, instead of the only thing you're ever thinking about.

I miss you Lovi

I miss you too

You'll never talk about this conversation in the morning. You won't mention it, and Antonio will pretend that it never happened. Nothing will be different on the outside, but your mind and his will fill with new information about the other.

you know i have my license right ;)

why does that matter

just wait a few minutes, you'll see

So you wait, scrolling through some useless app for a few minutes before growing bored and staring at the wall, wondering if you had any homework due over break. You don't think there was any, but you can just ask someone in your class tomorrow.

A sound at the window gets your attention, though, so you stand up and walk to the window, ignoring the discarded scissors at your side. Antonio stands at your window, holding another acorn in his hand. You open the window, and said acorn hits you in the face.

"Ow! Dammit, Antonio!" You say, and glare at him as he tries to hide his laughter.

"Lo siento, Lovi." He says. "Come outside!"

Did he drive here? For you?

You nod, and leave the window. Trying to be quiet, you almost tip over a vase, but you manage to catch it and place it back on the end table without too much noise. Breathing a sigh of relief, you get to the door without incident and open it to find the Spanish teenager waiting.

The two of you walk to his car in silence, just in case your grandfather or brother wake up. You're pretty sure you could convince Feliciano to go back to bed, but your grandfather would take more work, and it's a pain to have to explain where you're going at two in the morning on a Sunday.

Once you get in the car, though, Antonio kisses your cheek and turns the radio up a few notches, ignoring your blush or being unable to see it in the dark car, for which you are grateful. He drives for a few minutes before pulling into a McDonald's drive-thru.

"What do you want, Lovi?" He asks, turning to you.

"Ice cream." You say, and he orders, turning the radio down so the woman on the other side of the window can hear him. "Thanks," you mumble as he gives you your cone. The cold sweetness of the vanilla spreads across your tongue, and you make an involuntary 'mm' sound.

Antonio smiles as he gets his chocolate ice cream. He thanks the woman working and pulls off into the parking lot to eat it, turning the radio back up to its original volume.

He bops you on the nose with his cone, getting chocolate ice cream on your face. You scowl at him, wiping the sticky cream off your face before smearing vanilla all over his face, smirking in triumph.

"Ha. Suck it, bastardo." You say, going back to eating your cone.

"If you insist, Lovi." He says, kissing you from the driver's seat. You almost drop your ice cream in surprise, but manage to hold onto it for a few more minutes as he kisses you. One hand, the one that isn't holding the vanilla cone, tangles into his hair. You can feel the cone pushing into your palm. You can do this, don't make a mess in his car.

Until you feel his warm hands climbing your shirt. That's when you drop it, ignoring the splat that comes from the floor. You reciprocate his movements, letting your hands roam as well, and soon you're both shirtless, and in full make-out in the front seat.

But this is more than the usual kisses. It's more heated, and less light.

It's awkward, at least at first. Neither of you are sure of what to do with your hands, so you just fumble around for a while, but it's perfect in the awkward, teenage boy way. Somehow both of you end up naked, and the slick of your bodies moving together.

Eventually you both get to the "ending" of your awkward, teenage sex, and then you somehow fall asleep in the front seat of the car. It's four in the morning, and quiet in the McDonald's parking lot. You both have school in the morning, but for the moment you can't bring yourself to care.