Plunky IV: The bride of Plunky
By Todd Fan
Disclaimer: "Nice movie collection. 'Revenge of the Mutant Splat Gore Monster'. 'Die Screaming with Sharp Things in your Head'"
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My lordy, it's another year, and another Halloween fic! Okay, for those of you that haven't read the Punky stories 1-3, you'd best do that before getting here. The rest of you, what time is it? It's Plunky time!
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Another year had passed since the last Halloween had passed in Bayville. Now Plunky had been revealed to all, the holiday didn't hold as much terror as it once had. Over in the Brotherhood house, they group had decided not to go to any parties, in an effort to avoid any madness of any kind. Lance had suggested a scary-movie fest, which had been agreed upon by all.
"Okay, so what's first?", asked Lance, rifling through a pile of movies, "Halloween? House on Haunted Hill? Nightmare on Elm Street?" (1)
"No way, I vote for Amityville!", said Freddy.
"Please", said Wanda, "oh no, the flies are going to get me! Ugh, please, the Care Bears are scarier" (2)
"It's based on a true story, you know", said Freddy.
"No, it isn't", said Wanda, "it's a farce, used to get more cinema goers"
"I heard it was real", said Lance, "I heard the remake is scarier" (3)
"Anything is scarier than the original", grumbled Wanda.
Before any more argument could be made, Pietro hopped down the stairs, two silver pieces of long cardboard stretching out from either side.
"…..Pietro", Todd blinked, "why are ya dressed like a hair straightener?
"I'm not a hair straightener!", he snapped, "I'm a pair of scissors!"
"…..You're a pair of scissors?", Lance arched a brow.
"Pointy, pointy", said Pietro (4)
"….Okay", sighed Todd, "I give…why?"
"Because it's bad to run with scissors!", grinned Pietro, "Ta daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!"
Where Pietro expected applause, he was met with a hard wall of silence.
"……I'm disgusted that I shared a womb with you", muttered Wanda as she walked away
"Why are you even dressing up, you loser?", asked Lance, "we're not dressing up"
"Because I'm not spending my time with you sad-acts", said Pietro with a sniff, "I'm going to a Halloween party…with hot chicks"
"….You have to mention the women?", asked Wanda, walking back with some popcorn, "yeah, you're not insecure about your sexuality at all"
"For the last time, I'm not gay!", screamed Pietro.
"No, you're in denial", said Todd with a chuckle
"Okay, screw you all!", said Pietro, "I'm gone!"
With a woosh of air, he vanished, causing the group to burst into laughter.
"Oh, it's such fun to mess with him", said Wanda.
"It really should become a national sport", said Freddy.
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Across town, in the Institute, the X-Men had a similar idea to the Brotherhood, and were currently squeezed in the common room, watching their own scary movies.
"The car is alive!", shouted Kurt at the screen, "run, Leigh, run like you've never ran before!" (5)
"You know what's scary?", said Kitty, cocking her head at the screen, "that car looks just like Scott's"
"Yeah", blinked Ray, "and Scott does have that weird and creepy affection for it…..just like Arnie does for Christine!"
"My car is not possessed!", snapped Scott, "you leave her alone!"
"You're right", blinked Bobby, "next you'll be making it come alive, like that dude did with Frankenstein"
"Frankenstein was the creator, not the monster, you idiot", said Rogue. (6)
"Whatever", said Bobby with a shrug.
"Hey, look", said Jamie, "the cars repairing itself!"
"I wish my car did that", sighed Scott sadly, "It would save me so much in repairing bills"
"Well, if you have to park it in the place where it's most likely to be totalled", said Jean, rolling her eyes.
"I don't do it on purpose!", protested Scott, "Fate hates my car!"
Everyone ignored Scott as he began to rant about his car, and how often it got wrecked, as Xavier wheeled in.
"Hey, Professor!", said Kitty, "want to watch scary movies?"
"…..Not really", said Xavier, then sighed, "we have a problem"
"What?", asked Sam, arching a brow.
"Plunky has….errmm….escaped", said Xavier, "Ororo went to feed him and found a hole in the roof of the attic"
"But why would he escape?", asked Rogue, "A'h thought he liked it here"
"I don't know", admitted Xavier, "but we have to find him before anyone else does….I don't want anything to happen to him…I have become rather attached to him"
"Well, there's no way I'm going out there at night", said Roberto, "I'll stay here, keep guard of the house"
"You're still afraid of him, aren't you?", smirked Tabby.
"No!", snapped Roberto, "I just don't like the dark because I have no power"
"He's still afraid of him", nodded Tabby, "Afraid of little house-cat-sized Plunky"
Roberto muttered something in Portuguese and stalked off to his room. Xavier shook his head and looked at the rest of the team.
"We'll have to split up to look for him", he said, "remember, don't frighten him, we don't want to make him run further away"
"I'll get my car", said Scott, "cover more ground that way"
"Oh…", said Xavier then coughed, "I'm afraid when he escaped, Scott, Plunky may have…umm…landed on your car"
Scott twitched, before screaming.
"See?", he said, "I told you, fate hates me, and it hates my car too!"
Jean sighed, grabbing him by the arm and dragging him out.
"We'll take my SUV"
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Elsewhere in Bayville, Pyro was stomping around the cold October streets with Piotr, who looked very happy compared to the miserable Australian.
"I hate the cold, I hate the cold, I hate the cold", chanted Pyro.
"This is not being cold, St.John", said Piotr, "this is being mild"
"Of course you think it's mild", muttered Pyro, "you're from bloody Siberia"
He paused, his eye catching movement ahead of them.
"What's that?", he asked, squinting, "it looks like a wombat…..a deformed wombat"
Piotr frowned.
"Perhaps it is a blotnyi", he said, "we should leave it alone" (7)
"Oh, don't be so superstitious, ya gallah!", said Pyro.
He walked over, clicking his tongue at the ting.
"Hello, mate", he said, "you hungry? Want some of Sabertooths chicken? I'm sure he won't mind"
The thing turned to blink it's huge eyes at him, then hissed, raising a frill on his head.
"Hey, I remember you", said Pyro, "you're that little Plunky guy…what're you doing out of the Institute?"
"It is bad to dabble in this, Pyro", said Piotr, shifting nervously.
Pyro, as usual, ignored his team-mate, giving Plunky a prod. The little mutant gave a hiss of surprise, before jumping at Pyro, knocking him down.
"Arrrghhh!", screamed Pyro as Plunky sniffed at him, "don't eat me! I have a friend called Jason. Eat him!"
"Crucachoo", said Plunky grabbing something from Pyro's pocket.
"Hey!", yelped Pyro, realising what it was, "that's my lighter! Piotr, HELP!"
"I was warning you", muttered Piotr, changing to his steel form, "but would you listen? Nyent!"
Plunky paused, blinking at Piotr, before growling, hopping off Pyro and running at the Russian. The creature knocked Piotr down, grabbed his foot, and proceeded to drag him away.
"Arrrghhh!", screamed Piotr, clawing the ground, "he is going to eat me!"
"Wow", said Pyro, blinking as he sat up, "he's pretty strong for a little guy"
"Pyro, help!", snapped Piotr as he was dragged further away.
Pyro seemed to consider this.
"Bye Pete!", he said, waving, "I'll have your stereo, okay? I'll miss you buddy!"
"Traitooooorrrrr", said Piotr as he vanished around a corner.
Pyro chuckled evilly, then paused, tapping his pocket. Oh no, it was gone. His favourite lighter. His lighter with the shark teeth on it. That meant Plunky had it….. (8)
"Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!"
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Elsewhere in Bayville, Forge was happily working away in his lab. Who needed Halloween when you could create a ray gun to zap unknowing trick-or-treaters. Hah. He'd teach those snot nosed brats for asking him for candy. He chuckled evilly, then blinked as the power went out. Wait.. That wasn't right. His home was filled with top of the range technology. The power should never go out.
"Great", he muttered, flicking the light switch, "just great"
He sighed, traipsing further into the basement of his home, morphing his arm so the little torch he'd put in it gave a little bit of light as he tried to find the fuse box.
"Crucachoo?"
Forge blinked. Okay, he was hearing things. Okay, no problem. He heard thing a lot in Middleverse, this was probably some left over mental instability. Nothing to worry about.
"Croocachooooooooo"
…..Okay, maybe there was something to worry about. Forge sighed, flicking on the little FM radio his arm had. Yes, the radio would calm him down.
Bright eyes, Burning like fire, Bright eyes, Why do you…
Forge squeaked, turning it off. No, that didn't help. (9)
"Coo-coo-crachchoo"
The next thing Forge knew, something had tackled him to the side, and everything went black.
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"I can't believe Plunky's gone bad"
Scott frowned from where he sat moodily in Jean's SUV. Sitting in the car was Jean at the wheel, accompanied by Jamie and Pyro. They'd picked up the Australian as he wandered around, screaming incoherently. Scott had suggested they drive on, and this was normal behaviour for Pyro. Jean, however, had been less than impressed, so they picked up a passenger.
"He's got my best friend in the whole world!", cried Pyro
"Don't worry", soothed Jean, "we'll find Piotr"
"Screw Piotr!", snapped Pyro, "He's got my Zippo!"
"….You're such a good friend", said Scott dryly.
"I don't think Plunky would hurt anyone", piped up Jamie, "he's friendly"
Jean swerved the car into a dark alleyway.
"Here", she said, "I'm picking up a reading"
The SUV parked up, and the four got out.
"A light would be appreciated", said Scott.
"I don't have one anymore", sobbed Pyro, "oh…it's terrible!"
"Oh for the love of", muttered Scott as Jamie pulled out a torch, shining it ahead in the alley.
The light his shiny metal, lots of shiny metal.
"What the…", blinked Jamie
The metal seemed to make a nest, one of the pieces of metal moved…which turned out to be Piotr's head.
"Mother", he whimpered.
Also making the 'nest' was Pyro's lighter, Forge's arm and…Pietro.
"He molested me!", sobbed Pietro trying to escape his costume.
"…..Ooooookay", blinked Scott as Plunky jumped out of his nest.
"Croochachoo?"
"Crucachoooo"
"…..Is there an echo in here?", asked Pyro, blinking.
Suddenly, another creature like Plunky jumped out of the pile, blinking at the four.
"…….I think we'd better get the Professor", said Scott
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"Well, I never thought for a second there could be two of them"
Logan turned to glare at Xavier.
"Didn't you?", he asked, "didn't you!"
Plunky and the other, which had been dutifully named 'Plunkette' by Jamie, were happily devouring fish heads, their metal nest having been rescued or returned to their owners.
"I'm never going to get the teeth marks out of this", moaned Forge, poking his well-chewed arm.
"Well, it's obvious Plunky senses a female of his kind and made a nest to attract her", said Xavier.
"….But where did she come from?", asked Bobby, "it's not like these guys run free in Bayville, is it?"
"I……don't know", admitted Xavier
"Oh my God, Charles Xavier doesn't know the answer to everything", complained Magneto, who had come to try and convince a traumatise Piotr and Pietro that Plunky wasn't going to kill them.
"Oh, shut up, Erik", muttered Xavier
"Oh, I missed you, love", said Pyro, hugging his lighter, "never, ever go away again!"
"….Lets just get the pair back into the attic where they belong", said Storm, taking a step away from Pyro.
"So….vhat happens if they breed?", asked Kurt.
"We get little Plunky's", said Tabby then grinned, "hey, we could sell 'em as pets, we'd make millions!"
"We are not selling Plunky's offspring", said Xavier pointedly, as Logan and Hank took the two creatures upstairs, "and we don't even know if they'll breed"
"….If they do", said Piotr, "I am staying well away form them"
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(1) – In my humble opinion, these are the scariest movies, ever. Halloween is a classic, and my favourite scary movie. House on Haunted Hill is good for physiological scares…As for Elm St…..It's the only scary movie, ever, that I've had to turn off part way through from sheer terror. Considering horror movies have been part of my regular viewing since about the age of 9, this is quite a feat.
(2) – The original Amityville horror movie bored me to tears. Seriously. Why do people say it's so scary?
(3) – Is this true? I haven't seen the remake. Considering how crap I found the original, I just didn't bother wasting my moolah.
(4) – From the Weekenders. Tee hee.
(5) – Christine is a Stephen King book/movie about a possessed Plymouth Fury. It's also the name of my mother, which I find highly amusing.
(6) – A common misconception. One that annoys me greatly…I have a great love for classic literature, especially the gothic ones.
(7) – A Russian swamp spirit, if you're wondering….
(8) – The lighter from X2
(9) – Stolen from Wallace and Gromit: Curse of the Were-rabbit. As soon as I saw it, I knew I had to use it for Forge
Another Plunky story done, and now there's two! Weeeee! Do review. HAPPY HALLOWEEN!