Bittersweet
"Alright. I promise."
Zexion laughed at the solemn look on the blonde's face as he promised never to forget. Never to forget this, them, their promise to be together. He pulled him along the path, deeper and deeper into the dark cool shade of the forest. They searched for hours, scrambling over roots and brush, until they found the biggest, oldest tree they could. Zexion pulled out his contraband pocket knife and grinned.
"I stole this from Sephiroth." He loved the small, reverent look of awe on Demyx's face as he flipped the shiny silver blade open. He balanced carefully on the tips of his toes as he carved their initials painstakingly into the old, fragrant bark of the tree. The childish letters seemed out of place in this ancient haven, but the boys merely smiled, content in their companions.
"We won't forget each other. Not ever."
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Zexion cursed as he burned his hand for the umpteenth time. The espresso machine was spurting hot coffee on him, the customers, Luxord's new leather lounge chairs, and every horizontal surface within eyesight.
"Shit." He wiped the counters clean with a damp towel, wincing as he touched a puddle of still scalding liquid with his already burnt skin. Why did the machine have to malfunction again, right as he wanted to leave? He'd worked overtime again, seeing as Sephiroth had driven him to work late, and all he wanted to do was leave. Sora bounced and frolicked in his serving uniform, bewitching all the customers with his cute little smile and happy demeanor. He was just the kind of man Zexion liked, smiling and happy, carefree and jovial. But Zexion knew that the night manager, Riku, had his lecherous eye on the peppy brunette. Besides, Zexion was already taken. Sort of. No matter how many times Yuffie said that he and Demyx's promise was childish, idiotic, a small boy's flight of fancy, that he should find himself a nice man, he couldn't forget his promise. He hadn't smiled since the day Demyx left for France, he was too busy hoping and waiting, saving money so they could live in comfort together when they were reunited.
He closed the door carefully, not letting the cheerful chimes break him out of his reverie. The street was quiet and cold, a single other soul walking briskly down the other side of the street. He heard the faint sound of fire engines, loud alarms piercing the silence. He was startled by the sight of flames on the horizon, heated light making beautiful flowers in the night sky. He hummed absentmindedly as he walked home, knowing that Sephiroth would probably be out fucking around, as usual. He took the stairs up to his porch two at a time, unlocking the door and flipping on the lights. Same old furniture, same old appliances, same old boring life. Zexion had lived in the same house since his birth, a handful of acres bordering a large woodland. He drew water for a bath and flipped on the small in-shower waterproof radio. Evidently an irresponsible college student had set the RGU dorms on fire. He laughed as he stepped into the steaming curtain of water, blue hair getting plastered to his face as he turned to face the spray. He'd just started to meticulously shampoo his hair as he heard the doorbell go off madly, the annoying chimes reaching him even through the loud sound of water in his ears. He hopped out and wrapped a towel around his waist hurriedly, knowing that if it was Sephy he'd be disappointed if he didn't open the door. He was probably drunk anyway.
He opened the door, hair streaked with soap, towel gathered haphazardly around his waist. "Sephiroth, I swear, if you're drunk again…" and paused. A worried, smiling blonde greeted him at the door, backpack in hand and suitcase in tow.
"Hi! I'm Demyx! Can I stay with you?"
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He leaped at the blonde, pushing aside his bags and kissing him full on the mouth. "Oh god…Demyx…" He muttered as he pulled away, but stopped himself when he saw the look in the Blonde's eyes. Demyx looked scared, and Zexion realized that he'd only been able to kiss him because he pinned him down. He pulled away quickly, retrieving the towel that he'd discarded (accidentally. cough) in his rush to see his love.
Demyx stood up and brushed himself off. "I-I'm not sure what that was about, but…" He rummaged in his pockets and pulled out a letter on notebook paper. "I was told to give you…this." Zexion took the paper wordlessly, flipping it open as he beckoned Demyx into the house.
Zexion.
I've been informed that Demyx's friend Axel has burned down his dormitory. I know you and he haven't seen each other in a while, and I was hoping to keep his return a surprise for now, but could you look after him while his Father and I find him housing for this semester? I hate to impose, but you're the only one in town we know. I'd appreciate it. He has money for food and bills in his backpack—and try to make sure he doesn't get lost in town again.
Thank you.
"My mom says…I knew you. But honestly….I don't remember you at all."
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Zexion sat quietly, in shock as Demyx described what he'd gone through.
"Roxas and I…got in a car crash. It was about, oh, maybe 9 years ago? At least, that's what I'm told. I lost all long term memory. Roxas lost all of his short-term, but he's getting along better than me, I suppose." Demyx looked around skeptically. "In fact, I'm not sure if I've ever been here before."
Zexion's jaw had dropped somewhere around 'crash.' He'd toweled his hair dry, and put on clothes, but Demyx still looked at him like he was a madman. "So you don't…remember our promise?"
"Promise? We made a promise? Honestly, have I met you before?"
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Zexion cried quietly as he got ready for bed. Having installed Demyx in the guest room and bade him good night, he settled onto his bed for a nice, long cry. He knew now that his hopes were lost, all his waiting and careful planning was pointless now that he was just a stranger, a nobody. He could hear the Blonde's light snores from the room down the hall, wished he was in there with him, and fell asleep with tears carving sad little tracks down his too-pale cheeks.
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The weeks rolled by and Zexion found himself visiting their initial-carved tree less and less, knowing that his dreams were impossible. He lost himself in work, in taking care of the hopeless blonde, and in his sweet sleep. He dreamed of weddings, of children, of happy times with the boy who had forgotten, and woke up emptier every day. Sephiroth had welcomed Demyx in happily, seemingly understanding of his strange predicament. Zexion managed to get him work playing guitar at the café where he worked. He listened blissfully to the sound of Demyx singing every night, so happy and without a care in the world. He sang of love, and loss, and finding a new beginning, but Zexion still cried when he thought of how he would be alone. Of course he couldn't just find another man, not when he still had the love of his life. Demyx wasn't dispensable
He noticed small touches, quick brushes of skin that made his whole body tingle in delight. When he passed him a television remote or a plate of something at dinner he relished these moments, quick caresses of flesh giving him a will to eat, and interact. He wondered what it would be like to make love to this blonde, this little temptress, but locked his thoughts away whenever they got too vivid. Maybe he was losing resolve, maybe he was becoming acclimated to the situation, but he could almost sense Zexion loving him too. Maybe, just maybe, the Blonde might fall in love again.
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They went on a summer vacation, 6 months into Demyx's now-indefinite stay. They'd planned a quick trip to the beaches of Mexico, then a tour of France, finishing with the Royal Fireworks in England. Zexion had a large sum of money stashed away, secreted for those dreary days when he needed to get out. So he called of work for the next 3 weeks, planned Demyx's dream vacation, and let himself enjoy being with the blonde. His skin lost it's pallor in Mexico, he lost his fear of heights on the top of the Eiffel Tower, and shared a quick, miraculously consensual kiss with his beautiful boy during the Fireworks Finale. Wait, what?
Demyx was saying something, but Zexion couldn't hear over the explosions and crackle of the beautiful display in the sky. He shook his head and motioned to his ears, trying to let the blonde know he was practically deaf at the moment. Demyx looked frustrated, and grabbed his by the sleeve to pull him closer. "I said," The Blonde shouted in a moment of semi-quiet, "I think I'm falling in love with you." And he kissed him.
They spent the last few hours of their vacation secreted away in the corner of a dark café, drinking coffee and talking about love.
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He woke up alone.
He searched the hotel, all that he could find of the city, and called everyone he knew. Nobody had seen Demyx, nobody had heard from him. Zexion was shattered, broken, and utterly forlorn. He'd lost his love, found him, and lost him again.
He eventually flew home, after a week of searching high and low. Demyx was gone. Gone forever.
He unlocked the door to the house, played the stored messages on the answering machine. The third caught him by surprise, and he froze.
"Hey Zexion. I know you'll be sad I left. Just—look on your bed."
He heard Demyx speak, the lilt of the soft voice cracking towards the end as he choked out a quiet sob. He walked, as if in a trance, to his bedroom, light shining from the lamp he knew he hadn't left on. Resting on his pillow was an envelope, thick with pages. And a single picture. He pulled out the Polaroid first, and examined it sadly. A single picture—of their tree. Below the familiar initials was a new sentence, which looked fresh and deep. He spoke aloud as he read it. "I'll love you forever, I promise." He laughed a sad little laugh, the sound of his own voice pulling him from his musings.
He pulled out the letter, written in Demyx's own untidy scrawl. There were at least 10 pages, the last 3 of which were tear-stained sheet music. He read slowly, savoring the careful words that Demyx had taken such care to leave him.
Zexion.
I love you. I never told you that, did I? We promised as kids. I remember. But I've never come out and said it. It feels so nice, I feel so free finally telling you. I love you. You'll be sad, disappointed that I left, I know. You'll have to trust me on this, I didn't want to. I've got a duty, an obligation to my family. They wouldn't look kindly on a gay lover. Yeah, I know, we would have definitely been lovers. But I didn't want you to get hurt any more than you had to when I, inevitably, left. So I'm leaving before we can get too close to pull apart. I wrote you a song—you'll read it in a bit, I'm sure. And-- know that I've always loved you. Even when I didn't remember, even when you ambushed me (naked, of course) at your front door the first night I came. I listened to you crying those first few weeks—and I wanted so badly to make you happy. But it seems that now I'm only making you sad again. Please, forgive me.
Zexion looked down at what he hadn't read and pulled out the music. It was full of references to his every day life, all his quirky habit, how much the blonde loved him, and sprinkled with the little things only Demyx could know. He smiled a private little smile, his first since Demyx had left, and sighed.
He'd have time for this tomorrow. He had his whole life for this.
Or maybe, just maybe, he had no time at all.
A/N- I wrote this for crystal.tears.of.fate. Lemme tell you, she rocks. HAPPY 6/9 DAY!! IT IS ZEMYX DAY! I LOVE THIS TIME OF THE YEAR!! (And I luff September 6th.)