Prologue

There's a feeling you get when you realise you've missed it. Something important. Something that won't come again. A milestone of someone you love. Someone who was counting on you. It wrenches you. It is failure in its purest form.

Then there's the feeling when you find out that it wasn't just one milestone. It was several. It was all of them. You missed every one. And now that person is gone. Every milestone passed without you and you never got to experience one. You were never there. You were their world. You'd talked with them about your futures, what role you'd have in them. How you wanted to be the one to walk them; for them to stand next to you; to give their blessing.

But you never did.

And they never will. And you don't get a second chance. They're buried six feet under the dirt. They've been there for years. They lived their whole life without you. You might as well have never existed. But you did. They were etched on your heart. You were supposed to be so important. But you weren't.

Irreversible regret. Unapologisable guilt.

It's enough to make you sick.

Good morning, all! It is officially 3:43am. I have finished the insane amount of planning I've just done for this beast of a story over the last week and we're jumping in for what should be a pretty long haul.

I want to do this the justice I'm giving it in my head, you don't even understand how much I do.

Every character deserves their due and their depth, especially with some of the issues that will become apparent. Even on its basest level – The Winter Soldier storyline deserves respect, and I want to write it in a way that it really hits.

Your feedback through this is going to be greatly appreciated, if and when you can spare it. I'm not an expert by any means on Marvel, WWII, weaponry or languages so I'm just giving it a jolly good crack. I just love characterisation. Really love it.

There'll be fluff, but there'll also be a lot of dark moments and I'm not one to shy away from them.

In all hope, this turns out to be the rollercoaster I want it to be. I haven't attempted to write in this vein of serious, so let me know how I go, because I'm really not the best at gauging my own writing.

The title is a play on lyrics from the song 'Walking in the Air' from the film, 'The Snowman', which will reappear within the story. I just love it by itself as an beautifully emotional and nostalgic song, but it sort of has a relevance if you listen to it. Plus, it's just so sad and makes me think of the heartbreak my main characters are going to go through. Over. And over. And over.

Anyway, I hope you enjoy what's to come. I've considered making a tumblr dedicated to it, but I'll only do it if you guys think its worth it. I'm willing to pump out some fanart, too, since I'm a professional artist in the real world.

Give Kitty a chance, I have so much development planned for her from stuff you'll see in flashbacks to what I'm going to put her through in the future and I've really grown to love her.

This little prologue snippet is a thought of one of the characters, maybe several, maybe even something you can relate to yourself. I experienced it myself, recently. It's from later in the story and just sets the tone a little bit as the first few chapters will be set in the present and are a bit lighter in comparison to the hefty bulk that happens in the 40s.

I'll pump out the first few chapters before I publish this and then you've got something to go off and I'll try to update relatively regularly.

I'm scared. Let's do this.

P.S. I'm not sure if 'unapologisable' is a word, but it is now until you guys can give me a better one.