Disclaimer: I don't own Chicago PD.

A/N: This was just a little idea I had rolling around in my head until I wrote it. I'm not well so I'll admit that the dialogue is bothering me a bit... ? hope you enjoy it anyway. :-)

What if…

"Voight knows." My heart stops briefly knowing we can't put this off any longer.

"I know." My voice is quiet, like if he doesn't hear my reply we can pretend this never happened.

"For the record, I don't care. I said we should have come clean a month ago and I'm gonna go talk to him right now." For a split second I almost let Jay go. Let him tell Hank all about us and see where it leads.

"Jay…" My voice is sudden and full of anxiousness. Jay turns back to me and I see something in his eyes.

He's scared; deep down he knows I'm about to pull away.

"I wish it was that easy. You know it's different for me." The excuse sounds pathetic coming from my lips and part of me hopes he will fight for me. Fight for us.

But I know Jay. He will respect my wishes.

I feel my heart break when I see the hurt in his eyes.

"I understand." He places a hand on my shoulder and searches my glossy eyes. He brings his hand up to cup my cheek and it take everything in me not to lose it and break down.

"So we'll cool it. But we'll always have each others back."

"Always." I promise, because I can't imagine my life without him.

"Alright, well that's good enough for now." The ache in my chest increases once he's left.

It's cold here in the locker room. Alone. Always alone.

Jay can't possibly understand, yet he's such a nice guy that he grinned and bared it.

How's the coffee? It's delicious.

From the moment Hank made that comment not 3 meters from my desk I knew he knew. I sit back in my office chair staring a Jay's desk.

It's been a long day, chasing leads and now we are doing paperwork. It's barely been 24 hours since I put out the flames of our relationship.

It really was delicious.

I've never been so happy, Jay makes me feel special and I don't feel as damaged or broken when I'm with him.

He's certainly delicious in bed too… I've never felt such pleasure.

Jay is the full package. We're the real deal.

I remember everything, Jay.

I don't like telling people things twice.

My anger surges towards Hank and I turn to see him in his office, my attention is abruptly pulled back towards Ruzek as he knocks something over.

I bite my lip as I try to decide what to do…. If I have the courage to confront Hank like I spent all night thinking about.

I'm terrified, both of being transferred out of the unit and of the relationship I could have with Jay.

Al, I want you partnered up with Erin on this one.

I turn back and glare a Hank, was he questioning our ability to be partners or was he making it clear he knew.

Or was he just being an ass.

Can I give you some advice?

Sure.

Marry a dentist.

My gaze lands back on Jay and I smile, he's scratching his head as he turns pages on his report.

He's almost done so I'm running out of time.

There are reason's why this relationship won't work, but there are so many more why it could.

It feels right and I can't imagine loving anyone like I love Jay. We haven't exchanged these three magic words yet, I wish we had.

The thought terrifies me.

I suspect Jay wanted to, it's only been a month but we have been fighting this for too long.

He wouldn't say it when there was a chance I'd run.

I've never loved anyone like I love Jay and I never will.

He feels like home and happiness.

Here's to plowing ahead anyway.

My conversation with Gaby comes to mind… I remember the words I ended our conversation on.

Jay looks up and catches my eye, his tilts his head and squints silently asking if I'm okay.

I just shake my head softly and he looks concerned.

Hank is staring at us through the glass window of his office and I turn my head to lock eyes defiantly.

I've made my decision and soon will know if I'm speaking with my boss or my dad.

I get up from my chair with purpose and walk towards Jay's desk; I perch on the edge of his desk.

"Hey." My voice is quiet; I'm not sure where we stand after last night.

"Hey. You okay?" His voice is as kind and understanding as always.

He always seems to want to take my pain away.

"No."

"Why? What can I do?" He's quick and he looks like he's fighting the impulse to reach out and comfort me.

"I ruined things… between us." He just blinks at me, clearly confused.

"Is it too late?" I ask when his shock has stolen his ability to speak.

"But what about Hank?" He asks when he finally finds his voice.

I just give a shoulder shrug as he gets up, gathering his items.

"Maybe we should have this conversation in private Erin."

"I just need to know Jay. Is it too late? Have I ruined us?" My voice is desperate and pleading.

I'm standing now too and looking into his eyes.

"No." Jay finally whispers and I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders.

"Never, Erin. I'll always be waiting for you."

I lean up and press my lips to his in a desperate kiss; my hands are on his neck and his hands briefly touch my hips.

Collective gasps are heard around the room and I hear something slam in Hank's office.

"Good. Then I'll see you at home later." I flash him a smile, knowing he has keys to my apartment.

As partners we have always had keys to the others apartment.

Jay looks around the room and to Hank before back down to me.

"Go. This is a talk for Hank and I. I'll see you soon." I squeeze his hand and watch him walk away. He pauses near the top of the stairs and looks back at me, I can still feel the shock and confusion radiating off him in waves.

I turn on my heel and walk into Hank's office, slamming the door closed behind me.

"What the hell was that?" Hank's voice is quiet, serious and deadly.

"I kissed my boyfriend goodbye. Usually I wouldn't at work but after everything yesterday I needed to know we were okay before I spoke with you. To be honest, maybe I wanted to stick it to you as well. You were an ass yesterday - you know that right?" I take a seat and we stare off at each other.

"Excuse me?"

"Which part didn't you hear? The boyfriend part?" I tilt my head and smile.

"Look Erin, if you want to play house rather than be in this unit go right ahead. You know where the door is."

"Don't be sexist. You and I both know I'm a damn good cop and guess what Hank? Women cops can have relationships too."

Hank just stares at me with an eyebrow raised challenging me.

"Let me get this straight… male cops can date, they don't get distracted by relationships? But female cops…. Their only options are play house or be a cop? What? If they are in a relationship then suddenly they are distracted or incompetent? Women can do what men can do, so stop with the double standards. Answer this. If I was a male and you took me in as a teenager would you still tell me to not get involved with my partner? Or if I wasn't like a daughter would you have cared if Jay and I got together?"

The office is silent and I want to keep ranting, my anger levels high. The hypocrisy and double standards mind numbing.

"You want to date a cop? There are plenty of others out there Erin."

"I want Jay." I tell him defiantly.

"Then transfer out."

"If that's what you want then transfer me. I'm not breaking up with Jay. But before you do explain to me how you offered Burgess my spot when she's dating Adam? Whether she was shot or not, you were going to over look it. But not with me."

"I trust her and Adam to be professional."

"Really? I don't buy that. Not one bit. Sorry to say but they aren't the picture of professionalism at work. Jay and I? We have always been - both when we were fighting our feelings and for the last month we were together. We don't let it take the focus away from our work, we don't bring arguments from home here and we don't let it distract us. Our partnership hasn't faltered. This is about you and me." I stare at him waiting for an answer.

"You would really give up this unit for him?" He finally asks.

"Yes. I love him." Hanks eyes widen and then he stares into my eyes searching for the truth.

When sixty long seconds pass and he still hasn't found the answers he's looking for in my gaze I open my mouth again.

"Life's short Hank, we know this more than most with what we see every day. With our jobs… there is no guarantees. It's not exactly a safe profession. I want to spend every moment I can being happy, especially after all the pain in my life I just want to be happy and loved. I want to spend every moment I can with the man who makes me happy, not fighting it or wishing what if… or saying 'maybe one day'. One day might not come if I keep saying that. Jay makes me happy. I don't want to waste anymore time apart…" Hank lets out a loud sigh as he stares at me.

"Alright then."

"Alright?" I lean forward confused.

"You get one chance. Don't let me catch you being unprofessional."

"Wait. What? That was a damn quick turn around."

"I want you happy Erin. I've watched you continue to date guys you know you won't fall for. Which means they can't hurt you. You're fighting for Jay, which means it's real between you too. You've found someone to make you happy and your fighting for it…"

My mouth is open and I'm blinking in confusion.

"From the moment I saw you both I knew it was different… but I kept pushing you apart. I didn't want either of you hurt… Jay would be hurt if you got close and pushed him away. You had the potential to be hurt because you had the potential to love him. I won't lie, I'm concerned about the partnership and unit but I will admit you have been keeping it professional. As your father Erin I'm happy you have Jay. He knows about your past and he accepts you. Good and bad and he treats you right. That boy loves you. I see that. He's a great guy and a great cop and I'd be happy to welcome him into this family one day…" Hank is smirking by the end and my cheeks flame.

"Whoa. Slow down there, no one said anything about marriage."

"Yet." His smirk is still there and I know it's his way of leaving the anger and heaviness behind.

"Thanks Hank." I whisper and stand up; he gets up aswell and embraces me in a tight hug.

"I love you kid."

"I love you too Hank."

"Good, now go home to the man you love. I'm sure Jay is freaking out." He chuckles as he releases me.

A/N: Let me know your thoughts :) I'm thinking of a second chapter to show Erin going home to Jay. Let me know if you would like me to continue.