"Is there anything you can do, Bones?" Even in the tinted reflection of his communicator antenna, Kirk could plainly see his vivid green eyebrows. The ship's commanding officers strolled from the alien castle towards their shuttle, about an hour's walk away. McCoy should have been more elated that the captain had managed to negotiate their release, but they all seem preoccupied by the cost of their freedom. The sooner they got Briffia behind them, the better.
"Not til we get back to the ship," the doctor answered. His southern drawl was stronger; an obvious tell that he was suppressing a laugh.
The captain glared. "I don't want you saying one word of this to the crew, you hear me? Not. one. word."
"Captain," Spock piped up. "I think they will all notice the change in color. It is quite vivid."
"But they don't need to know how they got that color!"
McCoy tried to lighten the mood. "You gotta admit, it's fascinating from a purely scientific standpoint. I've never seen a venereal disease that changes the hair's color! Jim, does your carpe-"
"Bones!"
"It certainly is one for the medical textbooks," Spock agreed, causing both humans to stare at him. Was Spock actually being a jocular…? Or were his damnable clinical sensibilities overruling his tact? "It may not exactly be the legacy the captain is looking for, but have you considered naming this strain after him?"
Okay, now he had to be doing it on purpose. McCoy's jaw clenched a bit. Of course, Spock would deny it if he called him on it. "I already named the last one Kirk's Syndrome."
"You did what?"
"Of course, Tiberian Strain has a nice ring to it…"
"I swear to God, Bones, if you're not kidding, I will leave you behind on this planet and lock you in the Briffian Princess's harem room!"
Spock folded his hands behind his back as they walked on. "My apologies, Captain. I did not mean to offend. If it is any consolation, I'm certain this won't be your only legacy. There are other planets out there where the name 'Kirk' is being carried on proudly."
"You're not helping, Spock!"
McCoy didn't answer. Instead, he silently considered the merits of writing a book on sexual protocol for Starfleet.