Trauma surgeons are trained to not let anything surprise them. Nothing is supposed to surprise them anymore. They don't let anything shock them, because whatever it is - their reminded that there is always something worse.
But there are rare moments when trauma surgeons are caught off guard by the most outrageous, unforeseen catastrophe.
All he was supposed to say was 'I do.' It was easy and simple, but he kept staring back at her blankly. Her breath was caught in her throat and she could feel the awkward stares from her family, friends, and colleagues just pitying her because he froze.
"Matthew," The minister repeated, "Let me ask that again. Do you take April Kepner, here, to be your lawfully wedded wife?"
"I-" He started once again but froze before he could finish. His hands went limp in hers and suddenly it wasn't a strong handhold anymore. It was April holding tightly onto his wrists begging for him to complete his vow.
"Matthew, honey," She laughed nervously trying to ignore the fact that everyone was watching him e second guess their life together, "This is it. The part where we actually get married."
"I-" He looked at her once again. His eyes telling the story of his fears exchanged between April, the minister, and his family before finally whispering to me, "I can't."
You know the initial feeling you get when you're caught off guard. That shock you feel that came out of nowhere. Well, there was no shock or warning. Just pain. Like her heart suddenly lived in the pit of her stomach.
"What," She started calmly before letting go of his hands and sweating through her gorgeous white dress, "What do you mean you can't? It's our wedding day! Everyone is here to watch us get married." April started laughing nervously hoping that the crowd of loved ones couldn't hear us, but the growing wave of mutters revealed that they had heard it all.
"I'm sorry, April. I love you, but-"
"But what," She raised her voice starting to hyperventilate with the people just watching. April started not to care about keeping it all together on what was supposed to be the happiest day of her let it all fall apart The sweating, the crying, the yelling, the hyperventilating, and the hurting - it all just came out at once. "You love me, but you don't want to get married."
"I'm sorry. I just can't."
And he took the walk down the aisle by himself leaving her at the altar humiliated. She could barely breathe meaning she couldn't hold herself together long enough to excuse herslef from the audience or even make a move towards the doors. She just stood their like a deer caught in headlights unable to move. Her throat went dry and her skin was heated - there was nothing more uncomfortable and painful than watching what was supposed to be an amazing day to remember completely crumble.
Jackson stood up ready to save her from this horror because the minister was at a loss for words. The minister just stood their shocked as everybody was to be witnessing these events. But Jackson, her best friend and the hero of the moment, stood up in his best suit and began talking for her. He wasn't asked and he didn't have to, but he did it.
"Ladies and gentlemen, it appears that today's events have concluded quicker than we all expected," He cleared his throat awkwardly trying to talk over the peanut gallery, "While it's not the ending we all had expected and hoped for, it seems that it is indeed over. Please feel free to attend the reception and eat free food. Thank you all for coming."
Meredith, Cristina, and Arizona escorted her out the side door while he continued to dismiss the guests. They hurried her into the dressing room that they were just in moments before the wedding began.
The room was completely spinning as she listened to her forced, last-minute bridesmaids go on about the unexpected turn of events. This isn't the way she expected things to go and it certainly wasn't worth the money her father spent on this day. Her family flew out to witness this and they'd have to return home in shame while she has to go back to work and pretend that none of it happened. That she didn't just get left on her own wedding day.
Arizona failed in attempting to comfort her because somehow it traced back to her relationship with Callie falling apart. Meredith was trying to console her, but she and Cristina didn't really believe the wedding was going to happen in the first place. Either way, April couldn't be pitied by them any longer.
"Get out," She whispered finally getting off her feet and onto the leather couch.
"April, we're here for you," Arizona consoled, but the humiliated bride couldn't take it.
"Get out," She screamed this time. " All of you, Get out!"
The bridesmaids hesitantly obeyed the hysterical bride. Boy, was she hysterical. Her face matched her fiery red hair with anger and resentment. She was sweating through her one of a kind wedding dress and her hair was beginning to fall out of it's updo. April couldn't take this much longer because her head was pounding and her heart was sinking into her stomach so deep that it was making her sick. At any moment, she could puke today's events out of her system.
She was left alone in the room to her dangerous thoughts. There was no way she could leave the building without being seen by many of her family and friends or his family and friends. Her plan was to camp out there until everyone had gone home, but that didn't feel so good either because she was suffocating in the dress that she had on.
Her first instinct was to take off the dress, but she couldn't quite reach the zipper in the back. She tried to bend her arms more to get off the dress but twisting her arms just made it more painful and she started to believe that the dress was never going to come off; it was going to be constant reminder that she would die alone. So she did the only thing that she could think of and screamed. April screamed her head off.
"I can't do this," She screamed to no one but herself. The breathing increased and the numbing pain became more intense for her to handle. No one was around her and she felt more alone than ever. "This isn't happening," she kept repeating.
"It's a dream," She said. April tried to convince herself that it was another one of her pre-wedding jittered dreams. She had plenty of those leading up to the final day. One wear she was naked in the middle of the crowd, one where Matthew melted right in front of her, and another one where the barn was set on fire in the middle of the ceremony. But this was the worst one of them all and it wasn't a dream anymore.
"No," She went into hysterics once again. Her face was red and she could feel her veins popping out from the forceful screams she was letting out. "Get me out of here! Get me out of this dress! Ahh!" And then, she started screaming gibberish. The tears and wailing began to overcome her speech and no one would be able to understand her.
"April," Someone on the other side of the door started knocking and trying to open the locked door, "Come on open the door."
"Get me out of here," She fell onto her knees and kicked off her heels. completely melting down. She screamed not being able to take off the dress. "I need to leave. This isn't happening right now! I need to wake up! I need to find Matthew!" She shouted random phrases none of which were helping her in the situation.
Finally, the door flew open after Jackson had barged through it. He stood in the doorway by himself and as soon as he saw the bride on the floor, he closed the door as much as he could. She didn't deserve to be seen like this by all of her loved ones.
"April, c'mon," He helped her onto her bare feet, "Breathe. Take a quick breath."
But the quick breath turned into more hyperventilated which lead to more suffocation and screaming. "Get me out of this dress!" She started fighting it off her; trying to rip the expensive clothing off her body like she was on fire.
"Okay, okay," Jackson, without thinking, zipped her out of her dress quickly. The dress fell to the floor leaving April in her sexy lingerie that she had saved for the wedding night. Jackson continued to stare at her breakdown and tried not to notice how revealing her lingerie was. He tried to remind himself that this April was meant to only be seen by Matthew. "There, breathe April."
Being out of the dress allowed her to steady her breathing, but this quickly turned into sobbing. Jackson caught her before she could fall onto the floor again and he held her as she cried into his best suit. "Jackson," She sobbed, "I-I-I'm supposed to b-be m-married right now g-going on my honeym-moon."
"I know," He tried to soothe her, but he was thinking about holding her in his arms like this. He was holding her in his arms again and it felt like it always had. It felt right.
"Why did he do this," She continued, "I don't understand. We were happy; everything was fine. It was great!" She pulled away and her make-up was everywhere. Her face was puffy and her eyes were red. She was still in hysterics, but at least her breathing was under control. "Why, Jackson?"
April was not looked at Jackson; she was staring at the floor trying to understand Matthew's decision to just walk away from this. Was there someone else? Was he not comfortable with the fact that she wasn't a virgin anymore and that she lied about it? Why couldn't he marry her?
Instead of answering, Jackson knew that she just needed someone to hug. She didn't need an answer because no matter what the answer was she was going to be hurt. He knew that April needed someone to hold her and not fill her with lines like she was going to be okay and she was going to make it through this. She didn't need any of those, because she was stronger than that.
What April needed was Jackson to be there for her and tell her, "I love you."
When Jackson says he loves her, he knows what it means. He means that he loves his best friend and he hates seeing her hurt like this. He means that he wishes she wasn't going through this. He wishes that Matthew had married her, not because he doesn't want to be with her, but because she wouldn't be hurting like this if he had. She would be happy and that's all he would ever need whether it makes him happy or not.
April continues to cry because it's not the answer she was looking for, but it's something she needs to hear. When she hears Jackson's 'I love you' she knows it's because he's her best friend and he would do anything for her. She knows that he wants her to remember that he is always there for her through thick and thin. And she knows that she loves him for it, but her heart is breaking into a million pieces and she doesn't know how to be put back together.
For now, she lets Jackson hold the pieces in place and she sobs into his chest. She continues to do so until she can no longer cry. She holds onto him.