Summary: It starts when Dirk reads his summary: "Sorry im no good at summaries i promise its better than it looks. Please review!" He knows, right then and there, that this is the guy who needs his help the most. (Beta reader!Dirk x Fanfic writer!Jake, AU)
Author's Notes: Once upon a time, I had a beta. This was back when I wrote pretty much exclusively Yu-Gi-Oh. We were in love, but he was too good for me. Our lives departed and we grew distant, but I will evermore remember him, for he has changed both me and my writing for the better. Now, I feel like I can move on from losing this beta. But still, I will write one last unbetaed fic in his honor. For the remembrance.
Currently Recruiting: New beta to fill the void. I'm willing to beta in turn, if you want me to. Please contact me at chaoticneutralbards on Tumblr, with a critique of this fic and things I can improve here. Thanks!
Disclaimer: Homestuck is not mine;
It belongs to Andrew Huss.
Please do not sue me.
Dirk Strider simultaneously logs onto Fanfiction-dot-net, Archive of Our Own, and Tumblr as soon as he gets back to his dorm from class. He has studying to do, he knows, but that can wait until he's caught up on the latest fanfiction for his favorite webcomic, Midnight Crew. It won't take him more than an hour anyways. He hopes BettyCrockerLife has updated her hardboiled-detective!Spades Slick saga; Dirk has helped Jane edit earlier fics of hers and she is a damn good author. She's had a hard time loosening up her anally correct dialogue, but slowly and surely, she's catching on to the little "godammit"s in their speech and "nothin'"s in their drawls. Dirk heartily approves of her new word choices.
Editing others' fics is a hobby of his, he supposes he can say, taking messes of fanfics and turning them into something legible. Midnight Crew doesn't have a particularly large fanbase, and Dirk Strider happens to have a low tolerance for badfic.
Strider's got fics of his own, of course, but he's not particularly proud of them. They are ironically hilarious crackfics that he wrote while suffering from insomnia, and that is all there really is to say. But he understands the characterizations of all the Felt from Itchy to Cans, he knows that Clubs Deuce can't stand contractions, he's cross-analyzed Spades Slick's stabbing addiction. If you want fic suggestions, he's your guy. The general consensus of the fandom marks Dirk Strider as an excellent beta reader.
The fandom is just small enough that it sometimes goes a whole day without any updates on anything. Dirk checks AO3 first, but it fails to come up with anything Dirk hasn't already read. He's got a pretty eclectic taste in ships and plotlines and AUs, so he reads most of the fanfiction that goes up. He checks the Midnight Crew tags on Tumblr, but there have only been a dozen or so posts since yesterday, none of which are for fic. Then, he checks Fanfiction-dot-net.
There is one new fic, titled "The quest of spades slick!" and written by EnglishGentHopeful.
It starts when Dirk reads his summary: "Sorry im no good at summaries i promise its better than it looks. Please review!" That's it. That's the guy's entire summary. He knows, right then and there, that this is the guy who needs his help the most. Out of all the people he could possibly beta for, this person requires his services more than anyone else.
Of course, he reads the fanfic just to make sure. Obviously, it's from someone who's been keeping up with the webcomic because Ms. Paint is in it, serving as the damsel in distress. She's suffering very badly from being nothing but a two-dimensional trope, doing absolutely zilch except swooning over Spades Slick and being caught in the clutches of Snowman. It's a story in which Spades Slick is made out to be some sort of Indiana Jones, traversing the sands of Egypt, the marble temples of Rome, the Amazonian jungles, and the Arctic North to rescue his sweetheart in what is very obviously a wild goose chase.
The problem is, he has somehow managed to do this in less than one hundred words per scene:
"Now where is that dadblasted clue" spades slick said rather gruffly as his camel began trotting towards the pyramids. He went inside and went through a long series of dangerous and incredibly **thrilling** traps before he finally got to the center where he found a cup with a drawing of a downright fancy bird on it. "Oh i know" he thought out loud. "To the amazon!"
The lack of paragraph spacing makes Dirk frown, the lackluster description agonizes him, the complete lack of commas sends an unpleasant chill down his spine. It is also marked "Complete", even though a line at the bottom very clearly says, "To be continued…" He checks EnglishGentHopeful's profile page. It is massive.
Hello there my compatriots! it says at the top. I daresay this is my first foray into the broad broad realm of fanfiction! Im eager to show you all what ive got and i do ever so hope you all enjoy my literary work. Let me introduce myself first!
My names jake but you can call me english!
Im eighteen years old and i live in the united states.
My favorite webcomic is the midnight crew.
The movies i like include:
Avatar
National treasure
Tomb raider
Indiana jones
He goes on to list another page's worth of movies. No kidding, Dirk's entire screen is just a list of films. At this moment, Dirk isn't completely certain he's not a troll. The movies he likes are genuinely awful, and the absence of several grammatical cornerstones makes Dirk cringe. He doesn't seem to know how to use apostrophes, and he only capitalizes the first letter of every sentence. At least he mostly knows how to use ending punctuation.
The rest of his page is all fill-in memes, the type that go "List your top 10 favorite characters," and copy-paste things like "1 in 4 people are insane. Look at your three best friends. If they all seem sane then your the crazy one." Dirk can feel his eyes glaze over and monotony set in. He stops reading.
Dirk goes back a page to leave a review on Jake's story. He makes comments about how to fix the faulty grammar, the lackluster descriptions, the ridiculously fast pacing, but he also writes that he's really intrigued by the plotline, which would be great if English just polished up his writing a little. He won't lie, it would be pretty damn awesome to see Spades Slick in multiple settings the way Jake has the story set up. The guy's got potential to be a really good fic writer. He leaves a little reminder at the end, telling Jake that he should keep writing his fic. After all, practice makes perfect. Then, Dirk logs out of everything and gets to work. All that studying ain't gonna do itself.
The next day, when Dirk logs back on to his accounts, he receives a PM notification to his Fanfiction-dot-net. He's gotten a review reply from Jake:
Well im glad that you think the plotline is good but i really must contend with you upon your opinion of my fanfiction as a whole! My grammar is posilutely impeccable and i daresay you havent the right to tell me how i should write my fic! Ill take you in a bout of fisticuffs over your shenanigans! *raises fists in preparation for some scrums* Come at me bro!
Dirk almost laughs. Jake, he thinks, is kind of fucking adorable. Dirk's gotten plenty of "don't tell me how to write my fic" replies before, but never has he seen somebody try to roleplay-wrestle him into submission. Just out of amusement, he replies,
I'm not trying to tell you how to write your fic, man. I'm giving you constructive criticism that's supposed to help you grow as a writer. I'm just going to push your fists back down to your sides and pat you on the shoulder. I ain't lookin' for a fight.
Listen, your plot is good. If you're willing to take a little criticism, I can help you make your fic great. My Pesterchum is timaeusTestified; hit me up sometime and we can talk about me editing your fic.
Content with the message, Dirk hits "Send" and goes back to reading his Thursday updates. Minutes later, he gets a message on his Pesterchum.
- - - golgothasTerror [GT] began pestering timaeusTestified [TT] - - -
GT: *punches you in the face*
TT: Sup?
GT: Ive got a bone to pick with you mister heartstridecars!
GT: Youre being terribly rude about my fanfiction after all!
TT: Is this Jake?
GT: !
GT: Howd you know my name!?
TT: It's on your fanfiction profile.
GT: Oh.
GT: Well regardless ive got quite a few words to say to you about your so called critique!
TT: All right. Give me all you've got.
GT: What gives you the right to tell me how to write my fanfiction? Ill write it however i bloody well please!
GT: Theres nothing wrong with my grammar! I mean its just fanfiction! Who even cares about that?
GT: Im not going to go into more detail about anything because thats what peoples imaginations are for. And of course my storys moving fast its a race against time for spades slick to save ms paint!
GT: Also ive been meaning to ask you.
GT: What does ooc mean?
TT: OOC means "out of character." Which is what you made Ms. Paint, by the way.
TT: At least leave a little warning for that.
GT: I dont understand.
TT: Well, people act in their own unique ways. For example, Spades Slick likes to hurt things. That's a pattern he follows.
TT: Let's say he's facing off against Biscuits, and somebody writes that he just runs away. No stabbing or hitting or shooting involved.
TT: That's OOC.
GT: Oh i think i get it.
GT: But what if he has a really good reason for running away like snowman showing up and trying to stab him in the face?
TT: You really think Spades Slick would run away from that?
GT: Well…
GT: Not really i guess.
GT: Hes a smidge too rugged to do that.
TT: All right, so don't write him running away.
TT: It's the same thing with Ms. Paint.
TT: She doesn't really "swoon and fall into Slick's arms" in the comic, so it wouldn't make sense for her to do that in your story.
TT: She's more of the type to lovingly adjust Slick's tie or whatever he's wearing and giggle at his attempts to woo her.
TT: Hell, she might even take charge of the relationship. Initiate the kisses and cuddles and shit like that.
TT: She's not the completely passive, damsel-in-distress two-dimensional character you've made her out to be.
TT: Remember, this is the girl who's replaced Snowman as the eighth member of the leprechaun gang, now that they're on Slick's side. She's busy trying to take a level in badass.
GT: I suppose thats true.
GT: I guess i havent really been thinking about how the characters would act in the situations ive written.
GT: But the rest of my fic is okay right?
TT: About that…
TT: Your dialogue is damn near unreadable.
TT: Due to the lack of capitalizations, commas, and the like, you can never tell who's saying what.
TT: I mean, if you want to keep your grammatical errors, that's fine, but if you want to share your fanfiction with the whole fandom, you're going to want to make sure they can read it.
TT: Your descriptions make picturing anything nigh impossible. They're really vague.
TT: And you should slow down your pacing.
TT: This ain't a race to see who can write the shortest fanfiction. Take some time to develop your concepts.
GT: Oh.
GT: *lower lip begins quivering*
GT: So what youre saying is…
GT: My fanfiction is bad?
TT: Maybe not exactly "bad." But there's room for improvement.
GT: *bursts into tears*
TT: Woah, hey there, bro. Don't get all weepy.
TT: Everyone has room for improvement. Even me.
TT: Listen, I can help you. Just send me your fics, and I'll beta them for you.
GT: *sniffles*
GT: Whats betaing mean?
TT: It's like editing. You send me your fic, I make comments on what can be improved and how you can fix it, and you get a second opinion before you publish it.
TT: Obviously, you can ignore whatever comments you feel infringe on your artistry.
TT: I'll also fix whatever grammar issues you may have.
GT: Well okay.
GT: I suppose i can do that!
TT: Cool.
TT: Send me a copy of your first chapter so I can point out the places you'll want to rewrite things, and give me your second chapter when you're done with that, too.
GT: A ok mr…
GT: Oh my.
GT: It seems i dont know your name.
TT: Dirk. Call me Dirk.
GT: All right dirk!
GT: I cant wait to work with you!
- - - golgothasTerror [GT] ceased pestering timaeusTestified [TT] - - -
It is, to say the least, the beginning of a beautiful beta-reader/fanfic writer relationship. Jake's writing slowly but surely improves, and Dirk has something to do on those long, lonely, insomniac nights.
They just chat with each other a lot of the time. Mostly, their conversations are about Midnight Crew comic updates (or the lack thereof, given that the author, Andrew Hussie, is on hiatus), their character headcanons, and other fanfictions that they've read (Jake, for his part, is now also hooked on Jane's fic, "The Mystery of the Green Moon"). They do Midnight Crew vs. Felt roleplays, in which they strategically try to kill off as many of the other person's gang members as possible (Dirk consistently defeats Hearts Boxcars by beheading him).
But sometimes, they'll speak to each other about their real lives, about how Jake is flunking 12th grade English (despite the fact that, as Dirk finds out, "English" is his last name), about Dirk's multiple programming projects, about their friends, their families, their deepest worries to their most hilarious antics.
Somewhere along the line, however, Dirk starts noticing. He sees how the first thing he logs into when he gets home from school is no longer his fanfiction sites, but his Pesterchum account. The time he spends doing homework gets later and later every day because he's so busy talking to Jake. Jake's grammar, which is shittier than an uncleaned horse stall, suddenly strikes him as the most charming thing ever, as if he's typing so excitedly, eager to get things down into text, that he can't be bothered with pauses like apostrophes and commas. His vocabulary is so antiquated that he would fit right into the 1950s (or a convention of grandfathers), but Dirk legitimately cracks a half-smile when he reads Jake's words. The highlight of his day becomes watching green text pop up on his screen. It creeps up on him like green ivy over ancient, stony castles.
And, before he knows it, he's in love.
Now, that's a problem. Jake lives in Florida, miles away from Dirk's college in Massachusetts, and the likelihood they'll ever meet in person is extremely slim. Not to mention, Dirk isn't sure Jake English is even attracted to guys. He even shows his best friend Roxy, the campus gaydar, some of their chats so she can discern Jake's sexuality. All she can come up with are a bunch of question marks ("omfg dirky hes like putting up a lead sheet to keep out my xxx rays. i cant get ANY readin on this guy!") and a lecture focusing on telling Jake about his feelings.
He stays quiet on the matter every time she brings it up. No, instead, he loses himself in the words of Jake English, his steadily improving fanfic and his entertaining chats.
Dirk is, however not willfully ignorant to the rest of the fandom. There's going to be an East Coast meet up at a comics convention in Maryland, and Dirk is planning to go. He's convinced his incredibly successful older brother to provide gas money, and Roxy's mom has already agreed to loan them a car so they can drive down to the Old Line State. Lalonde is going, of course, to meet up with some of her fantasy-comic friends. She follows a well-known Dungeons-and-Dragons based comic, and she's looking forward to playing some oneshot campaigns down there (whatever that means). Dirk doesn't really follow her fandoms all that closely; all he knows is that she's going dressed as her level 18 elven wizard, Kittiana Frigglish. He only knows this because he is the one who sewed her costume. Dirk is going as human!Stitch, complete with a shitload of sewing supplies in his messenger bag. He figures someone at the con is going to need emergency cosplay repair.
The week before he goes, he realizes there is no internet at the hotel he's planning to stay at. Fuck. He pulls up Pesterchum to let Jake know that he won't be on for a weekend. Wouldn't want English to start freaking out, he thinks with a small smirk. He's been spending all the weekends since they'd first started chatting talking to Jake, and if he wasn't replying to Jake's messages, at least English would know why.
- - - timaeusTestified [TT] began pestering golgothasTerror [GT] - - -
TT: Yo. Jake.
GT: Strider!
GT: I do daresay its superb to hear from you again.
GT: Have you finished editing the latest portion of my ripsnorting adventure?
TT: Sorry, bromine. I'm a little more than halfway done editing it.
TT: Man, remember when your chapters were only 300 words long?
GT: Haha yes indeedy i do!
GT: Its amazing how time can change a fellows writing.
GT: Anyways if you arent on to tell me things about my story then what is it youve got to tell me?
TT: I can't pester you next weekend.
TT: I'm going to the MC meet-up in Maryland, and the hotel I'm staying at has no internet.
GT: *gasps*
GT: Oh no! How will i ever survive without you?
TT: I don't know, bromine. You'll have to live.
GT: Or maybe well just have to meet up in person this time.
GT: Because im also going to the convention in maryland!
GT: *double pistols and a wink*
TT: Really?
GT: I wouldnt lie to you about something like this old chap.
TT: Well, shit, color me surprised.
TT: I guess we will have to meet up in person.
TT: You'll be with the rest of the Midnight Crew people?
GT: Posilutely!
TT: Awesome.
TT: I guess I'll see you on Saturday, then.
GT: Affirmative!
GT: Now please do kindly get back to betaing my fic. Im quite eager to hear what youve to say about it!
TT: Will do, bromine.
- - - timaeusTestified [TT] ceased pestering golgothasTerror [GT] - - -
Holy shit, Dirk thinks, as he settles in to edit in all the commas on Jake's fic. (It is astonishing that Jake still doesn't use them.) He is going to be seeing Jake English in less than a week. It is kind of fucking surreal, that it didn't even occur to him that Jake could possibly be going to the same convention. He can feel his heart accelerating with what is clearly more than just pre-meet-up nerves and he has to take a deep breath and remind himself to be cool. He can do this. He'll meet Jake English, and sweep him off his feet.
A few slow, slow days later, Dirk finds himself in Maryland. It's a three-day convention, but even though they make it a point to skip class on Friday, Dirk and Roxy basically miss the entire first day due to the fact they live nearly seven hours from Maryland. Those seven hours quickly become eight, and then nine, thanks to terrible traffic conditions. Still, they get there in time to eat dinner and then rush off to a D&D game that Roxy insists Dirk join in on. He hasn't made a character, and it's part of one of Roxy's ongoing online campaigns, anyways, so he just plays Roxy's character's horse. He quickly becomes the most badass member of the party, and decides that Roxy's fandoms are fucking awesome.
The Midnight Crew fandom meets up at the front stairs on Saturday (a place that Dirk's younger brother makes it a point to warn him about over the phone), but Dirk gets there early enough that only thirteen other members of the Midnight Crew are there. They are all dressed as Eggs and have apparently showed up to be part of a "dozen eggs" photoshoot, except for a curvaceous-looking woman about Dirk's age in what is clearly a badass fem!Slick cosplay, except for the fact that the ribbon which has been glued on to her hat is coming off. She is hurriedly trying to fix it with silver bobby pins that stick out against the black fabric of her hat.
"Here, let me help," Dirk offers, pulling out a black-threaded needle. "I brought sewing supplies."
She turns around and looks at Dirk, completely relieved. She is wearing a pair of red-rimmed glasses over her eyepatch.
"Goodness gracious," she smiles at Dirk. "Thank you so much. You're a real lifesaver!"
"No problem," Dirk replies, taking the hat in his hand. He sits on the stairs, just far away enough from the Eggs cosplayers so that he isn't in any of their pictures, and begins stitching up the ribbon like the pro seamster he is.
"I'm Jane Crocker," she introduces herself. The cogs in Dirk's brain start turning. Jane… Crocker?
"Holy shit," says Dirk. "You mean, you're Jane, as in BettyCrockerLife on Tumblr?"
"You know me?" Jane looks remarkably pleased and surprised.
"Oh yeah, you bet I do," Dirk answers with a half-smile. "I'm Dirk. You know, I betaed 'The Nuances of Playing Blackjack' for you."
"You're HeartStridecars?" Jane squeals, looking at him excitedly. "I can't believe we're meeting in person! You wouldn't believe how much help you've been to me!"
He and Jane settle into a lengthy discussion about MC fanfiction while waiting for the other fifty or so people to show up. He fixes her hat, and she thanks him for it. Eventually, though, she has to go because the rest of her cosplay group has showed up. They are all incredible cosplayers of the genderbent Midnight Crew. Dirk goes around and talks to a few people about the webcomic, helps fix up a couple of other costumes, and accepts compliments on his own beautifully stitched costume. He wears triangular shades due to a hereditary condition that makes his eyes sensitive to light, but he removes them for a few seconds to take a couple of pictures. He still doesn't see anyone named Jake, despite the fact he asks around.
Finally, a guy comes running up the hallway, clearly out of breath. Holy shit, he has the best Lord English cosplay Dirk's ever seen. Lord English has only made a couple of appearances in the comic, but he's the leader of the Felt and one of the driving forces of plot. His jacket actually flashes in the multiple colors of the Cairo Overcoat. He is carrying a green, skull-shaped helmet with round, LED eyes that change colors in a manner so that it actually looks like Lord English's pool-ball eyes (that thing has to weigh at least ten pounds alone) and the shirt he is wearing underneath his coat is green with abs painted onto it. Then, he comes up to the group and Dirk notes that he is also the shortest Lord English cosplay Dirk has ever seen. The guy is only maybe 5'2" or 5'3".
Dirk instantly knows that this is Jake.
He's been told, of course, that Jake would be coming in Lord English cosplay ("Because my last names english and i thought it would be hilarious!"), but there's something in that bespectacled face, that incredibly dorky grin, the way he shouts, "Tally ho, compatriots! Apologies for being tardy!" that just screams Jake English at Dirk.
Before he even knows it, Dirk has made his way over to the newcomer and has introduced himself, "Sup. I'm Dirk Strider. You wouldn't happen to be Jake English, would you?"
"Why yes indeed I am!" he beams at Dirk with his charming, bucktoothed smile and Dirk can practically hear him leaving out the commas in his speech. He takes Dirk's hand and shakes it vigorously. "It's positively ducky to finally meet you! Why I've been excited to finally thank you in person all week. You really have helped me improve my writing quite a bit you know."
"Hey, I'm your beta reader," replies Dirk with a smirk. Just being around Jake is threatening to break his pokerface into an all-out grin. "It's my job."
Jake laughs and goes in for a one-armed hug, still using his other arm to carry what looks like a massively heavy helmet. Dirk, of course, hugs him back, relishing in the warmth of his costumed body.
They spend the rest of the day taking pictures with all the other Felt members, doing action shots with the Midnight Crew cosplayers, complaining about Hussie's incredibly long (but well deserved) hiatus. They see so many Ben-Nye'd Felt faces that they just know there are going to be green tinted showers across several hotel rooms that night. It is pretty awesome, and Jake English is there by his side throughout all of it. There is nobody Dirk would rather be sharing this with.
Eventually, the MC meetup disperses as several groups disband for dinner. Jake isn't particularly close to anybody, but he does get a piece of paper with a couple dozen Tumblr URLs he needs to follow now (as soon as he figures out what a Tumblr is, that is) and at the end of the day, he is blissfully Dirk's, all Dirk's. They begin walking in their cosplay duds down to a chain restaurant a few blocks away, but it's a little late for dinner by now, and the streets are pretty much empty. Dirk's jacketed arm is just close enough to the sleeve of Jake's Cairo Overcoat that he can feel it as they walk together, and if he reaches out just a little bit, he can hold Jake's hand. He doesn't.
"Strider," Jake eventually says, after they've both been quiet for a while. "There's something I have to tell you."
Dirk's heart stops, but he doesn't dare hope that it is what he thinks it is, "All right. Lay it on me, bro."
Jake bites his lip and looks off to the side, "Well... I suppose it's really easier to show you…"
Dirk's eyes blink hard as he licks his lips, thinking about Jake's, "Okay. Then show me."
Completely unexpectedly, Jake stops in the middle of the sidewalk and goes rummaging through his bag. Dirk's heart falls in his chest. He should have known better than to expect a scene out of a shitty fanfiction.
Shyly, hesitatingly, Jake pulls a slightly rumpled piece of paper out of his messenger bag. He tentatively holds it out to Dirk and Strider, his curiosity piqued, accepts it. He unfolds it.
It is the final chapter of Jake's fanfic, and every. Single. Comma. Is in place.
Dirk just kind of stares at the paper, completely dumbfounded, "You know how to use commas."
"I…" Jake falters. "I've known how to use commas for a while now. Taught myself after chapter five, actually."
He's on chapter seventeen now.
"I… see…" Dirk isn't quite sure what to say.
Jake gulps, "Please don't be mad at me. I only left them out because I was afraid you'd stop betaing for me."
Dirk doesn't say anything.
"I mean, at first it was really annoying, how you'd keep pointing out things that were wrong with my story, but then we started talking and I really, really like you, Dirk, and now I have abso-bally-lutely no idea how I'd even get to sleep without talking to you until I pass out and I've really enjoyed being your friend but I know you're going to stop talking to me once you finish being my beta," Jake seems almost hysterical by now, and he sounds so upset he might just start crying. "And now I've made you mad at me! I'm really, really sorry, Dirk! I just want you to keep being my beta reader, mine and nobody else's, but that's really selfish of me and Jesus kringlefucking Christ I-"
"Shhh," Dirk shooshes, putting a hand on one of Jake's shoulders. He leans down, and in a fit of bravery inspired by Jake's:
He kisses him.
Dirk presses his slightly moistened lips to Jake's soft ones, his other hand coming around to embrace Jake's waist. Their glasses clink together awkwardly, Dirk's black, pointed shades on Jake's transparent, rectangular ones. Jake, for his part, is stunned into nonmotion before he finally relaxes into it, kissing back feverishly. It's obvious that Jake has learned to kiss from the movies, because soon enough, his tongue pokes out of his mouth, pressing insistently against Dirk's lower lip. Dirk doesn't normally French on the first kiss, but he humors Jake. English is not very good at kissing, but, Dirk supposes, it's the thought that counts. He's damn grateful he even has the chance to kiss Jake English in the first place.
They pull away after a little while, realizing that they are basically making out in a public commons. They stand in the middle of the sidewalk and stare at each other, soft smiles on both of their faces.
"Just to make things clear," Dirk finally says, after they have been silent for a little while. "I'm not going to stop being your beta reader."
They walk the rest of the way to the restaurant, hand-in-hand.
FIN
-x-x-OMAKE-x-x-
- - - golgothasTerror [GT] began pestering timaeusTestified [TT] - - -
GT: DIRK!
GT: DIRK YOU DICKPRINCE LOG ON ALREADY!
TT: I'm online.
TT: What's up, babe?
GT: Youll never guess what!
TT: All right. I'll never guess it.
TT: So, tell me.
GT: Ive been accepted to college!
TT: Congratulations, Jake.
TT: I'm proud of you.
GT: But thats not the important part!
GT: The important part is *where* ive been accepted to college.
TT: Okay.
TT: I'll ask you, then. Jake, where have you been accepted to college?
GT: BOSTON UNIVERSITY!
GT: Isnt that great dirk?
TT: Wait. Boston University.
TT: As in, the Boston University that's one bus ride away from where I go to school?
GT: The very same!
TT: Holy shit, I don't know what to say.
TT: Aw, fuck it.
TT: Jake English, I love you.