A/N
Hey, people. This is my story. It consists of Edwards life when he goes out on his own from Carlisle in 1927. I hope you all like it. Here is the preface, including chapter one. If you feel you need to contact me about the story or something, please email me at miranda . lee . 25 (at sign) hotmail . com. Don't contact me on the site. Please read, give it a chance, and review! Also favorite me :)
Thanks,
Randa.
PREFACE
It hurt for me to see the look in Esme's eyes right now. But I couldn't be part of their family, when my most basic need is changed into something unsatisfying. Sure, they have more morals, drinking the blood of animals. But it's what most of our kind live for- the blood of humans. Of course I'll be letting Carlisle down, and Esme. That pained me, but I don't want what they want. I have to go off on my own.
CHAPTER ONE: TO LIVE OR TO EXIST
Finding a place will be easy, I'm sure. I have my fathers inheritance and money I have accumulated throughout my almost ten years of immortality. I just don't know where to start. Being on my own made memories flood into my mind of my human years. The day I asked my mother for her blessing to move out, mostly. Being alone scared me then, a human emotion I did not carry with me into this life. Now I just felt empty.
When I was human, I was excited to move on, maybe even a bit euphoric. Those emotions burned to ashes with my soul a long time ago. These human memories, the ones I almost couldn't bear, were bringing me to a familiar place- Chicago. I realized I was running in that general direction the moment I snapped out of my trance. Did I really want to go there? The place where I grew up, had a family, and maybe was a bit happy? Maybe I could be scared.
I decided to purchase an automobile just outside of Chicago. If I was going to keep up with this human facade, I couldn't be walking from city to city. Though it might look a bit weird- a young, unemployed male who could afford a nice, expensive car. I decided I wouldn't think about that. I just wanted to try a normal life. Though I can't fathom how drinking humans was any kind of normal.
The dry ache of my throat pulled my into a state of mind I wasn't proud of. I needed a drink. Chicago was a vast place of speakeasies and gangsters. I'm sure I can find a nice murderer or something to feed off of. That was a rule I made while deciding to leave Carlisle. If I'm going to drink humans, I might as well find ones that deserve to be dead. Like murderers, gangsters, or general law breakers. Sifting through minds helped my rule become reality. Before anything else though, I had to satiate this thirst. I wanted to be good, even in my darkest moments. Carlisle had rubbed off on me. If I could feed off of humans who didn't need life, then why would it matter? I could be doing a kindness to the city, so to speak.
When I was brought into this non- life, I could read minds. It has never really benefitted me, until now. If I could search through the minds of Chicago, and find the darkest of people, I would be doing everyone a favour. Using my ability for good.
As I approached the city of Chicago, I thought about my existence. Thinking about this is one of the reasons why I left Ashland in the first place. Did I really want to sit here and just exist? Or did I want to live? Sure, Carlisle didn't just exist. He helped keep innocent humans alive and healed the sick. He had a love. He had a life. I, on the other hand, just existed in his home, doing nothing of importance to make my life worth something. This is why, I think, that being on my own and living off something so much better than animal blood will give me a life. I know for a fact that I wont find the love of my life... Because that will never be possible. But I think that living off something that I was made to will make my life worth it.
I needed to hunt. Now.
A/N
Short chapter, I know. But be ready for the next. It's good. I will post it soon. I have a few chapters written already, but I don't want to post them all at once. So I will update tommorow or the next day! Please stay with my story! I have trouble writing it if I get no reviews.
So, if you like the story, R&R :)
Randa.