A/N: You don't really need to have read Fallen to understand this. I think it's pretty self-explanatory :) But just in-case...2 angels love a human girl who re-incarnates every 17 years, she loves the good angel (Daniel Grigori) and the bad angel (Cameron 'Cam' Briel) is left in the dust.
If You'd Given Me A Chance
Dear Luce,
I can't believe I'm actually doing this, letters haven't been my thing for a couple hundred years now but - I figured that I had tell you how I feel I before never see you again. Cliché right?
I don't how much Grigori told you about the past but he'll tell when your ready. If there's one positive thing I can say about him, it's that he won't ever hurt you. Believe me, I know from past experience. But that's not what I wanted to say, what I'm trying to say is that...I'm sorry. Shocking isn't it? Super-cocky-and-extremely-sexy Cameron Briel apologising to someone? Quick call CNN!
That aside, I just want you to know that I can't help who I am. I'm a fallen angel on the wrong side of Heaven and I'm fighting a loosing battle for the love of my immortal life. That's who I am and I wish with all my heart that you had given me a chance. I know that I'm 'evil' and who wants to be with a guy who 'works' for the devil anyway? But I swear to you Luce, if you had given me the chance, I could have made you so happy. I would have held you when you were scared, been the shoulder for you to cry on when you were upset, hell! I would have told how much I loved you every single day of our lives if you had given me a chance!
I want you to know that whilst you would have been at home, I wouldn't be out doing 'evil' work. I would be spending my time thinking of ways to make you feel special and loved and safe. You may not think it Luce but we would have been perfect together; I could've shown you a good time, you know I could. Actually...I don't think youdoknow. Grigori's probably had you so brainwashed by now that the only thing you think about now is him. But whatever, I know that I've lost; I don't even know why the hell I'm even bothering to write this damn thing. Closure maybe? Or maybe it's because there's still this small part of me that still thinks you could change your mind? I wish you would Luce, I wish you would.
I hope that your happy with him. I hope that he tells you he loves you everyday and makes you smile. If you'd given me a chance, I could have been the one to do all that for you. You know, somehow, I think you do love me, and that whatever you felt for me before the battle wasn't just teenage hormones and sexual tension. That somewhere down the line of your countless reincarnations, you began to see past the whole dark angel thing and actually see me for who I was and gradually, fall in love with me. Or maybe I've become delusional and started to imagine things that aren't there. I'm hoping for the former.
You know most people would say something like "You would have been mine in another life!" but I don't think that applies to our situation. We've had way over a hundred lives and each time you never picked me...Of course, you always died before I could actually get close to you but that's neither here nor there.
Do you think that if mine and Grigori's positions were switched, that he was dark and I was light, that you would've have chosen me? Or would you have still chosen him over me? I mean, what is it that actually attracts you to him? Is it his looks? 'Cause I am just as attractive as him, if not, more...way more. Is it his personality? Hello? I'm the charming one here, not HIM! Argh! I just - I need a reason! I need to know, after thousands of years, why not me? But I'm not going to get an answer am I? Of course not.
You were always able to bring out my frustrated side so easily Luce. And I could do the same to you. I'm sure that we would have fought...But, doesn't everyone? In any healthy relationship? Shouldn't we be able to express passion in any shape or form? Be it kissing or arguing? Have you ever even raised your voice once to Grigori? I have so many questions for you Luce! Right down to whether or not you're a damn cat or dog person! But I'm never gonna get the answers.
And you won't admit it to yourself will you? Why Luce? Why? What is so wrong in admitting that you have feelings for me? Am I really that fucking repulsive that you can't just tell me? And I don't mean right now but all the countless years we've had together and you couldn't just tell me these three small words? Why not Luce? It's not hard!
I never stopped loving you Luce. Even after thousands of years of unrequited love, I've never stopped. Sometimes I ask myself why I even bother and if I wished I'd never fallen in love with you in the first place but I'll always know the answer to that question; no. If I could turn back the clock, would I? Never. I don't regret falling for you Luce because, even though you may not have been mine, the special moments that we did share make it all worth it. They're what push me on to keep fighting for you and I will keep fighting for you; you love me Luce, I know you do.
Grigori's gonna try and do everything he can to keep me away from you now but he can't keep me away for too long. But you know Luce, all this could have been avoided if you'd just given me a chance.
Forever Yours,
Cam.
As Luce read the last three words, her shaking grew even more erratic and she could no longer contain her glistening tears. They spilled onto her face, running down her chin and eventually landing on the crumpled paper in her hands.
The heartbroken girl whispered four small words into the winds, hoping that somehow, they would be carried to the only man -angel- she had ever truly loved, "I love you Cam."
"'Tis better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all"
-Alfred Lord Tennyson
A/N: So, this was my first EVER Fanfic that wasn't Twilight/Blackwater related and I have to say that it is quite refreshing to put yourself in a different mindset like this. Although I guess Fallen isn't THAT different from Twilight in the sense that it is about a 'supernatural' love triangle so yeah, it's not really that different but oh well!
Plzzzzzzz leave me a review and I hope that all you readers out there enjoyed this!
-Crazziii
