Setting: Spike reflects on he and Buffy's relationship post "As You Were"
Song: "Last Time" is by Joss Whedon and sung by ASH on "Music For Elevators"
Saving My Ass: All charecters are owned by Joss and Co. and song is owned by Joss and ASH Yadda yadda yadda...........
The Last Time
It's just like the last time,
the part where I try to deny that she's already said goodbye.
Time and time I find I'm lying quiet by her side,
wondering what she's got to hide,
this time.
There's never any tenderness in our lovemaking. No foreplay and no talking afterward. Just a greedy drinking in of the other, siezing her lips in my mine and tasting her sweetness like blood in my mouth. Her hands rip my clothes and her nails tear at my skin, begging for more, asserting her dominance. I growl her name as I enter her and she gasps. But she never says my name. Not until I bring her to the edge and make her say it. And afterward she rolls out of my embrace, looking at me with those sad desperate eyes. And I know whe will soon get up and shuck on her clothes and leave without a word.
Guess I'm just a passtime,
something to keep her occupied til she decides to let it slide.
We both know she'll come back on the fly,
and I'll pretend she's justified,
and she'll pretend I've got my pride,
But I don't understand why everytime I get ripped all up inside and I,
give it one more time.
She is using me. We both know it. Oh, I act cocky and use her very want of me to force her hand. But when she looks up at me with those luminous eyes I'm undone. My hands shake every time I touch her. My eyes drink her perfect body in, memorizing her trim legs, the graceful curve of her back, her full breasts. I know that it won't last forever. One day she will come in here and instead of fear there will be determination in her eyes and she will stake me with her words, reduce me to dust with her rejection.
So I take all I can now. Not because I don't care and not becuase I like seeing her like this. I hate it. I would rather have her as she was, so bright and strong and searing, not this pale half-light. I would trade everything I was, break my body and mind if I could see her without this sadness hanging over her.
But I know it will come. Time will heal her. Something will come, some circumstance or fight or something that will pull her out of this daze and give her the strength to do the right thing, the only thing she knows how to do. She'll leave me, not because she doesn't want me, but because she is wrong and she knows it.
So let this be the last time,
Let this well of mine run dry so I don't have to watch me cry.
This time when she goes I'll be resigned,
Let me shut the door behind,let me put her from my mind,
Let my spirits grow unkind. But I...
give it one more try.
I should end it. Maybe she would repect me more for it when she came to herself. Maybe I would repect me more. But I can't. It's not in my vampiric nature to deny myself pleasure. And bloody hell, who could kiss her even once and not want her forever? That bloody Soldier Boy was a wanker! My sire too. Their loss...
Not really. Not my gain.
And this time I'll show her. I got my pride too, you know. I'll show her I'm not hers to use and throw away.
This will be the last time.
The last time.
Last time.
Song: "Last Time" is by Joss Whedon and sung by ASH on "Music For Elevators"
Saving My Ass: All charecters are owned by Joss and Co. and song is owned by Joss and ASH Yadda yadda yadda...........
The Last Time
It's just like the last time,
the part where I try to deny that she's already said goodbye.
Time and time I find I'm lying quiet by her side,
wondering what she's got to hide,
this time.
There's never any tenderness in our lovemaking. No foreplay and no talking afterward. Just a greedy drinking in of the other, siezing her lips in my mine and tasting her sweetness like blood in my mouth. Her hands rip my clothes and her nails tear at my skin, begging for more, asserting her dominance. I growl her name as I enter her and she gasps. But she never says my name. Not until I bring her to the edge and make her say it. And afterward she rolls out of my embrace, looking at me with those sad desperate eyes. And I know whe will soon get up and shuck on her clothes and leave without a word.
Guess I'm just a passtime,
something to keep her occupied til she decides to let it slide.
We both know she'll come back on the fly,
and I'll pretend she's justified,
and she'll pretend I've got my pride,
But I don't understand why everytime I get ripped all up inside and I,
give it one more time.
She is using me. We both know it. Oh, I act cocky and use her very want of me to force her hand. But when she looks up at me with those luminous eyes I'm undone. My hands shake every time I touch her. My eyes drink her perfect body in, memorizing her trim legs, the graceful curve of her back, her full breasts. I know that it won't last forever. One day she will come in here and instead of fear there will be determination in her eyes and she will stake me with her words, reduce me to dust with her rejection.
So I take all I can now. Not because I don't care and not becuase I like seeing her like this. I hate it. I would rather have her as she was, so bright and strong and searing, not this pale half-light. I would trade everything I was, break my body and mind if I could see her without this sadness hanging over her.
But I know it will come. Time will heal her. Something will come, some circumstance or fight or something that will pull her out of this daze and give her the strength to do the right thing, the only thing she knows how to do. She'll leave me, not because she doesn't want me, but because she is wrong and she knows it.
So let this be the last time,
Let this well of mine run dry so I don't have to watch me cry.
This time when she goes I'll be resigned,
Let me shut the door behind,let me put her from my mind,
Let my spirits grow unkind. But I...
give it one more try.
I should end it. Maybe she would repect me more for it when she came to herself. Maybe I would repect me more. But I can't. It's not in my vampiric nature to deny myself pleasure. And bloody hell, who could kiss her even once and not want her forever? That bloody Soldier Boy was a wanker! My sire too. Their loss...
Not really. Not my gain.
And this time I'll show her. I got my pride too, you know. I'll show her I'm not hers to use and throw away.
This will be the last time.
The last time.
Last time.