Montparnasse strolled into the swanky old apartment building, the very picture of elegance. His long, curly black hair was tied back with a red ribbon, his leather jacket was uncreased, and his skinny jeans were so tight it was unfair. His face was set in a fierce snarl, and anyone who came within his line of vision could tell he was on the warpath.
Sadly, though, no one would be scared of him as he wished they would. This might have had something to do with the fact that he was wearing a Santa hat and carrying a massive sack full of gifts for a group of revolutionary idiots.
Maybe.
He let go of the giant sack with one hand and balled up a fist, punching the button for the old-fashioned elevator. There was a loud groaning noise and then the elevator arrived at the lobby level, the golden cage sliding open. Montparnasse dragged his ridiculous burden inside the elevator, the cage door clinking closed behind him. The rickety old birdcage began to rise. About fifty years later, it stopped at the tenth floor and Montparnasse stumbled out.
He finally reached the apartment number he was looking for, and gave the door a hard knock. Inside, he could hear sounds of revelry: laughter, shouting, and cheesy old Christmas songs. While this would have warmed the hearts of most people, it was filled Montparnasse with fury. He gave another knock, harsher this time.
"Coming, coming! Hold on a minute!" a voice from inside shouted. Finally, the door opened and the face of Courfeyrac appeared. He broke out into a grin. "Guys, guys! Look – it's Santa!" he cried, waving a bunch of friends over.
The doorframe quickly filled with smiling faces, everyone laughing at the gangster's Santa hat and bundle of gifts.
"Fuck off," Montparnasse growled, barreling inside the apartment and throwing his load unceremoniously on the couch. He hadn't looked where he'd thrown it, and now Enjolras – with a very flushed Grantaire on his lap – were covered in presents.
"Can we leave you two alone for one minute without you guys jumping each other's bones?" Eponine chastised from where was busy shutting the door and swatting Combeferre's hands away from her waist. She turned to her only slightly tipsy boyfriend. "You – couch. Now," she ordered, and he sulked off in that direction. "Everyone sit," she commanded.
Enjolras helped Montparnasse clear the presents off the couch and then returned to it, plopping Grantaire upon his lap. Courfeyrac starfished out in the space where the coffee table used to be, Marius cuddling into his left side and Cosette cuddling into his right. Joly, Bossuet, and Musichetta managed to fit themselves into a large chair, Combeferre was shoved on to the couch by Eponine, and Bahorel wrestled Feuilly into his lap before wrangling the two of them in the space between Enjolras and Combeferre. Jehan danced into the living room with a giant plate of cookies, plopping them on to Courf's stomach as if the boy was a table. With that, he sat down across Courf's outstretched legs. Montparnasse begrudgingly sat down on the floor.
Everyone was with their significant other(s), and it was depressing him.
"Where's Azelma?" he grumbled. "She said she'd be here."
"Calm yourself, Santa," Eponine chuckled. "She's in the kitchen. She was helping Jehan make cookies."
"Zee!" Montparnasse called in what one could almost say was a whiny voice. (Of course, one would never say that, though. Not unless they wanted their eyeballs cut out.) "C'mere!"
Azelma, clad in a pair of pajamas that most definitely "did not" belong to Montparnasse (after all, why would he own boxers with ducks on them and a hot pink sleep shirt?) came waltzing out of the kitchen, carrying a tray of hot chocolate.
She held it down so everyone could grab a cup, and then tossed the tray aside with a dramatic clatter, then plunked herself down in Montparnasse's lap. He wrapped his arms around her and smiled for the first time that night.
"So, fuckers, what're we doing for Christmas Eve?" Bahorel asked with a toothy grin as he held Feuilly in an iron grip. Feuilly was twisting and struggling like a feral animal in Bahorel's hold.
"Everyone, put your presents under the Christmas tree. We're not making piles of each person's name like last year," Eponine said. Everyone shuddered at the memory: Montparnasse had just starting hanging with Les Amis, and everyone except for Azelma and Jehan hated him, so he only got two presents that year. "Just mix them in."
This led to a mad dash to the Christmas tree. Everyone managed to get their gifts stacked up under it, but not without an almost-fistfight and a few growled threats from Eponine that she would "rip your balls off if you ever do that again, Feuilly."
"Now what?" Courf whined from the floor where he was sitting with his arms around Jehan and Cosette, who was playing with Marius's hair.
Eponine sighed and shook her head. "You're children, I swear. But now…dance party!" She cranked the Christmas songs up, so that "Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree" began blaring out of her crappy speakers.
Joly jumped up and began to spin in a circle with Bossuet and Musichetta, the three of them giggling like little kids. They hopped over Courf's cuddle pile on the floor. It was all fun and games until Bossuet stepped on Marius's face. (It was still fun.)
Marius shyly offered Jehan his hand, and the two began to slow dance to "O Night Divine" while Cosette wolf-whistled from Courf's lap.
Eponine and Combeferre smoothly did a tango to "Noel"; Enjolras and Grantaire did an impromptu tap number to "Jingle Bell Rock" that had everyone equally enthralled and disturbed; Feuilly and Bahorel made a two-person mosh pit to "Baby it's Cold Outside" that no one would admit they loved; and Azelma and Montparnasse did a dorky synchronized dance to "Let it Snow."
As if God had heard the songs, it began to blizzard outside, and everyone cheered and hugged and kissed: Eponine gave Combeferre a strong hug; Joly, Bossuet, and Musichetta ended up in a bit of an awkward pile on the couch; Bahorel kissed Feuilly on the cheek and then got punched in the face.
The rest of the night was spent having a snowball fight in the middle of a raging blizzard, shivering on the couch while watching "Love Actually" and "A Christmas Story," and then everyone trying to figure out where to sleep.
Since it was Eponine's apartment, she obviously had first pick. She went off to her bedroom, dragging Combeferre with her. Enjolras and Grantaire fell asleep tangled together in the chair Joly and his paramours had occupied earlier that night. The aforementioned made a blanket fort in front of the TV and watched old episodes of "The Twilight Zone" late into the night until everyone else was asleep and it was just the stars. Marius, Cosette, Jehan, and Courf pulled the couch out into its bed form and somehow all fit. Courf was on the outside, one of his around Cosette. Next to Cosette lay Jehan, snuggling to Marius. Cosette and Jehan held hands in the night, and Courf made sure one of his arms flopped up so he was holding Marius's hand over Jehan and Cosette's outstretched bodies. Jehan threw his leg over Cosette's body so it was touching Courf's. Somehow the four of them managed to sleep touching each other. Feuilly would never admit to cuddling with Bahorel on the floor and falling asleep that way.
Montparnasse snuck into the guest room did three things: kissed Azelma senseless, ignored the fact that he was dating a freshman in high school when he was a senior, and then promptly fell asleep.
Any before any of the young friends knew it, it was Christmas morning.