Title: Smile
Author: Schattentaenzerin
Fandom: Glee
Pairing: none
Genre: Drama/Friendship
Rating: PG-13
Warning: Implied depression, mild spoilers for the end of S1/start of S2
Summary: It soon became normal for him.
Disclaimer: I own only the idea. If glee would be mine it would have taken a different direction.
A/N: A fic about my favorite Kurt and a topic that is very dear for me. Short, but I hope not too OOC.
Word count: 555 words
Smile
He doesn't know when he started to have such thoughts. When the jocks had begun not to only splash him with slush, but also throw him in the dumpster?
During the Babygate drama, it was made clear that he will never be what Finn will want?
When had Mercedes begun to spend so much of her time with Quinn? When had his father found the son he had always wanted in Finn? Or perhaps he always had them and he only ever denied them?
He doesn't know, Couldn't can't say exactly when it started, but it doesn't matter.
Within weeks it has become normal for him and soon he could do nothing else.
Smile, sarcasm, fashion.
All things that had always helped him, and ultimately it became clear that in the end they are nothing more than a mask, something that he wears, no, lives so no one can see the truth.
It is now so normal for him. He knows nothing else anymore.
Perhaps that is the reason he is so surprised that someone saw through him.
Smile. :-)
A simple word and a smiley scribbled on a scrap of paper and put into his locker, and yet ... he cannot help but smile slightly. He doesn't know why someone had given him this piece of paper, but somehow he also doesn't need to.
Instead, he is just grateful to be able to forget his thoughts for a moment.
You're beautiful. :-)
Again only a simple sentence and yet he could not help but smile when he read this note. Scrawled in a font that looked familiar, but which he simply could not identify.
You sang great.
A star instead of a smiley accompanies the sentence this time. Inevitably, he thinks of Rachel as he sees it, but why would she put a note into his locker? Mostly she only sees herself. Although a rather cynical view of her, but unfortunately mostly true.
This continues for days and weeks. Every day he finds either in his locker, on his place in the classrooms or in his mailbox pieces of papers with little sayings, smiley faces or images, is never something big.
Sometimes it is written by hand, sometimes by using a PC and sometimes it's something which is cut out, but it's always something that makes him forget.
Just as he hadn't noticed how the idea began to take over his head, he doesn't notice how the thoughts slowly, piece by piece, subside.
Soon, no longer things like 'what if' dominate his head, but rather a plan for what he would do tomorrow with Mercedes, Finn or one of his other friends.
Instead of hiding behind more crazy clothes, his style changes into something downright normal which Mercedes comments to him with a laugh.
Just as soon it's also normal for him to wear a genuine smile on his lips instead of the fake one that had once felt almost as if it were his real one.
The pieces of papers never stop coming any more than the looks he feels following him around. The one he is unable to link to someone and which make him kind of happy. Just as the papers make him kind of happy and to say the truth he never needs or wants more than that.
End
_
A/N: My first glee-fic and the first ff where I didn't describe so much the problems which Kurt has. I tried to make this fic more hopeful than depressive like my other works so it's only implied.
Comments would be wonderful. :)
The sequel is called "Watching and Acting."