CHAPTER1: LEAVING FORKS

I looked out the small window on my right silently saying my goodbyes. I could still see Charlie standing at the glass window of my terminal. I could just make out glistening tears dropping from his chin. It had been hard to say goodbye to my friends in Forks, but even harder to face my future without Edward and his family. MY family. They couldn't explain Edward's reasoning, but they understood my decision to get away from the place I loved and the person who could not let me choose my own future. Edward would not allow anyone to argue with him about me becoming a vampire and turned down all reasoning against him. He was certain he could protect me from the Volturi and Victoria and anything else for that matter. Slowly but surely Edward began closing off parts of himself from me and the distant look in eyes ripped new seams in my healing heart. I knew I had to leave for the two of us one afternoon when Jessica asked me to go with her to the mall to find a new dress for graduation. As shocked as I was that Jess called me, I anticipated a day with a friend I knew I had been pushing away. I was determined to make up for some lost time and the last time we went to the movies together. So, I was caught off guard by Edward's steely glare when I mentioned the outing.

"Bella, you can't seriously be considering this, can you?"

"Well, actually Edward I already got permission from Charlie to take the day off from cooking."

"Bella, I want Alice to join you and Jess when you go into town."

"Inviting Alice is not my place, because Jess specifically invited me to go with her. Besides, I don't think Jess is particularly comfortable around Alice."

"Bella, I can't take you getting hurt. I want to know you are safe at all times and being protected by someone I can trust."

"Edward, I think I can go to the mall with a friend and stay out of trouble for one day."

"Your track record isn't so good."

"Ha. Ha. But now it is different. You're here and I love you. I would never put myself in harm's way on purpose again. I love you too much to risk it, unless of course you want to solve both of our problems so that neither of us have to worry about…."

"Bella! I have already told you. I love you too much to end your human life. And that is the end of discussion."

"Edward, I do what you ask me to do because I love you and I want to be with you, but you are trying to control my life so that you can keep me safe and a human for the rest of my life."

"Bella, I let you go once, and I will not lose you again. Turning you into a monster like me would be totally selfish and you would regret it for the rest of your life. Watching your loved ones live and die as you struggle not to kill them for their blood. That is not a life you will lead while I have any say."

"You know what Edward; what if I left? What if it was me that ran away from you? What if I left Forks and went somewhere where you couldn't follow me or control my decisions? Then would you learn that I am not as fragile as you think? Would you miss me enough to understand what life without you is like for me? Could you possibly picture a future without my love?"

"Because I can't! I know that I couldn't bear to live without you. I couldn't stand not being able to be with you for eternity. If it takes me going away for awhile for you to see my point of view and my needs, then I will sacrifice for the two of us."

"Bella, I understand your point of view. But you can't see how horrible this life would be for you. I love you with everything that I am and I couldn't stand to lose you. If you leave me I will follow you. I have no choice. I must go where my heart takes me because you are my heart Bella."

"If I am all that matters to you then why won't you let me be with you forever? Why can't you let me make my own decisions?"

I could see his eyes close off to me in final decision.

"No, Bella. You don't have the experiences I do. I am making this decision for you. I will not allow you to come to any harm. No matter what it takes, I will see to it that you have a happy, normal life."

"Fine. If you won't let me make my own decisions then I have no choice but to get away from you and then maybe once you see what it feels like to live without me you will let me back into your life for eternity."

It was that conversation that forced my hand. I was determined to prove to Edward that he could not live without me and to force him to see my point of view. He could not live without my love as I could not live without his. There was just one problem: Alice. Yet, to my surprise Alice agreed with my decision to leave Forks for a while and let Edward see what it felt like when he ripped his heart from me. She agreed to help Edward see my side and to try to convince him that making me a vampire is the best decision for all of us. So, it was with a tear in my eye and hope in my heart that I boarded the plane to Arizona to stay in my old house and finish my senior year (hopefully it wouldn't take that long for Edward to apologize) in my old school back home while Mom arranged to come stay with me two weeks a month to make sure I was okay. Little did I know that Edward had no intention in allowing me to be unprotected so close to where a year ago he almost lost me forever to James.