Uncertainty
A/N: This was written for respitechristopher's "I Never" challenge. A very clever challenge, really as I never would consider writing Snape/McGonagall.
...Why yes, this is seriously a Snape/McGonagall fic. (well, if you squint hard enough).
Severus was sure of few things of his life. Love, however, wasn't one of them. After…her death only four years ago cemented the fact that he would never properly love again.
However, these new, unusual feelings for Professor McGonagall…er, Minerva, were confusing. It would take time to think of McGonagall as a co-worker, it was just too difficult at times to think of her as 'Minerva'. He could say that he respected her, looked up to her even. She was a stern, strict woman who commanded attention wherever she went. Even when she taught Transfiguration during his times at school-Severus would never admit to 'fancying' her, he was too dignified to 'fancy' someone, especially if that someone was over twenty years his senior. Just because he was twenty five didn't mean he had no common sense.
Severus decides it would be a good move to keep these…thoughts inside his own head, for now. After all, who could he trust besides himself?
"Looking angsty there, Severus," extra, emphasis (angrily hissed, of course) is put on the Potions professor's name, "A knut for your thoughts, perhaps?" The voice says, softer and kinder than before. It was one he recognized, and once he looked up, he saw the face of Aurora Sinistra, Astronomy professor. She was slightly older than him at twenty-seven years old. Sinistra was nothing but a plain looking woman with long, curly, dark hair and almond shaped eyes. He openly admits to despising the vile woman, but admits (only under duress) that he liked the flashy Astronomy professor.
"Since when have you cared?" He states, trying to make his words ooze with his usual batch of snark. He failed.
"Since now, and since I've met you on the train when we were both young and naive so many years ago…" She trails off, misty eyed. Severus resists the urge to smack her.
"I have dignity. I would never admit anything to you."
She locks her eyes with his and laughs softly.
"You're a liar."
"I do not lie."
"Only you just did. "
"…I will not dignify that remark with a response." She sighs.
"Is this so called secret about a girl?" He feels his face turn red at the mention of the word 'girl', although he could hardly call McGonagall a girl. And for Merlin's sake, he didn't love her per se, he looked up to her.
That's right, he thought, all of my feelings towards her are of the utmost respect.
"What would you do if it was?" He responds tactfully, avoiding the subject as gracefully as possible.
"I would laugh at you hysterically like the immature young girl I am on the inside and promptly tell all the staff of your little secret."
"If it wasn't about a 'girl', how would you react then?"
"I would be completely let down." He sighs heavily, not wanting to allow this conversation to unfold any further. There is a silence, which Severus is thankful for.
"Seriously, tell me that deep, dark secret is."
"If I told you I fancied Minerva McGonagall, would you leave me alone?" Aurora's face contorted in shock.
"You fancy MCGONAGALL?"
"Not so loud! My god, Aurora, do you have an indoor voice?" He splutters as his voice cracks. Aurora laughs hysterically, almost unable to breathe. Minerva, upon hearing Aurora's booming laughter, gives him a sympathetic look. It seems to have an apologetic twinge to it, conveying something she wouldn't be able to say aloud.
Severus swears to never tell Aurora secrets ever again.
A/N: I feel absolutely accomplished. For anyone who cares: Sinistra's given name was, according to the Lexicon, Aurora. Even though it's not 'officially' canon, I used it because it sounds cool. On ages: Minerva is 50 (since her birth year is around 1935), Snape is 25 and the year is 1985. Most of my facts on ages and years are courtesy of the reliable Harry Potter Lexicon.
Thank you for reading and please review. (I hope respitechristopher approves…)