Edited 11/10/2013

How can I stay alive knowing that everyone dear to me hates me. Only my sisters, my lovely sisters care for me; but it's not enough. Even when Belarus frightens me and Ukraine runs away from me because of her boss. Whenever they visit it always cheers me up and allows me to live longer.
All I want is my "Sunflower". I haven't found it yet, it is still there I just know it. Somewhere. Out of my reach. I'm too dark, too cold hearted to ever touch my Sunflower. I fear that it'll turn into dust. That just a single, minuscule of my presence will taint that beautiful, pure, serene, flower and burn it into ashes, to engulf it and burn it slowly, painfully.
It's too much to bare.

I can't handle it!

"They fear you."
"It's best to get rid of them."
"Eliminate your foes."
"Do it now Russia, now!"

Fuck you, General Winter. You're a good comrade but not good enough to keep me out of the dark. Instead, you pulled me in, hugged me, smothered me with all your nonsense. You took control of me, you took control of Mother Russia! Mother will never forgive you, General Winter, never.

"You are my son, Russia, do what I say and we will achieve victory. To crush everyone that stands in our way."

"Come now boy, you have much to learn."

That voice. where is it? My voice, it's missing, I can't reply...
Tap... Tap... Tap...
Someone's coming.
Quick.
Hide.
I'm scared.
Help.
Someone...

"... No one will help a monster..."

"No one will help a demon's problem..."

Why?
All I want is peace... To live in a field of sunflowers away from everything.
To be at peace.
To have peace.
It's too far away though... The light is gone...
I'm drowning...
Help... Save me... Don't make me fall even lower! Save me!
No one listens. No one wants to listen!
Out of my grasp. All shriveled up and dead, all because of my incompetence and failure to be better.
Lighter, brighter.
I want happiness...

BAM!

There, the running grew faster, nearer to his destination. No one saw him at the G8 meeting. They didn't want Russia to be "nice" to them because they let him miss the meeting; so they volunteered the most quiet and docile person there: Canada. The boy, a couple inches below Russia but easily as crazy as Russia, but never heard. Too invisible.
Canada; the same as Russia; easily misunderstood. He seen it all, how Russia lost most of his smiles, his evil aura dissipating by each time he saw him. Canada grew worried, it was the best opportunity to check on Russia. America didn't like the idea but he didn't want to be the one on the receiving end if bad things started to happen.

Inconsiderate bastard, sacrificing his younger brother.

"They're the monsters!"

"Kumajirou, you're my only friend;" He consoled the bear in his arms, reaching the building. It looked dead, spooky, like a haunted house. He has been here a few times for private meetings but the house looked too abandoned for Canada's liking. He opened the door after receiving no answer when he knocked a couple times, he called Russia's human name, still nothing. Canada became frantic in his search and hurried through the halls checking each and every room. When he reached upstairs the bang of a gun shot rocked him to the ground. He gently dropped his Polar Bear and ran at the end of the hall. Slamming the door open, one look at the scene sent tears to his eyes.
He wanted Russia to be his friend. Russia is, no -was- the only person that could see him without needing him for something.
He understood Russia.
Only Russia didn't realize that he wasn't alone.
So there on the bed laid Russia in soaked up, bloody sheets with a small, barely noticeable smile on his face and an old fashioned flintlock in his right hand.
Dangling out of his hands, with a clatter it dropped to the floor.
One bullet is all it takes.

Canada.
I see you.
I'll let you see me when the time is right. When it's your turn. When you finally snap and break away from everyone. Run away and be free; happiness is all it takes.
I'm here.
My safe Haven. Filled with a beautiful assortment of sunflowers. My light returned to me; I can finally breath, see, and start a fresh start in this meadow of Sunflowers. I'm alive.
More alive then what I was beforehand.
No more sorrow. Just pure happiness, life, light, and brightness.
I'm alive.
No one will think I am a monster anymore, no more demon, no more scary Russia.
Just
Ivan.

End