Written for the VAMB Secret Drabble 2011 for Ymwelwr. Many thanks to Marauder in Disguise and Nancole20 for the read through. You two rock. =)

I do not own Voyager.

"We need to hide in the toilet."

"What?"

"The toilet," Tom pointed to the PADD in his hand. "We need to hide in it. It's the first clue."

"No, it's not. Give me the PADD."

Tom sighed. "Why can't you just trust me on this one, Harry?"

"Because hiding in a toilet is a ridiculous idea. Now, please give me the PADD so I can read the clue again."

Tom handed the PADD over and folded his arms, waiting.

"Conceal the subject in the lavatory where Lou eats his garderobe with John."

"See? We need to hide in the toilet."

"It doesn't make sense. How did you even come to that conclusion?"

"It's full of old earth terms for toilet."

"No, it's not."

"Trust me, it is." He pulled Harry to the couch and tapped the PADD. "Look. Lavatory, lou, garderobe, and john are all different words for toilet. So let's go find us a toilet and hide in it."

"Hide in a toilet? Tom, I don't know about you, but I think I'm a little large to be hiding in a toilet. I don't even want to think about the breach of health protocols…"

"Harry, Harry, Harry. Where's your sense of adventure?"

The young ensign stood and walked toward the door. "It left as soon as you said we needed to hide in a toilet."

Tom jumped up and blocked the exit. "Come on, Harry. The captain wouldn't approve of you shirking your duties. She said Naomi spent a lot of time coming up with this scavenger hunt." He tapped Harry's single pip "You don't want to be an ensign forever, do you?"

Harry straightened his uniform jacket and sighed. "Fine. Let me see the PADD again."

Tom smiled and handed him the device.

"Conceal the subject in the lavatory where Lou eats his garderobe with John. Okay, what could the lavatory be?"

Shrugging, Tom lowered himself to the couch. "The mess hall, perhaps? People usually eat there and it is where Neelix conducts all of his Leola root experiments."

"That's a laboratory, Tom."

"Hey, I don't see you coming up with anything better. Maybe Naomi is behind in her spelling lessons."

"Okay, let's say you're right. What do Lou and John have to do with eating garderobe in the mess hall?"

"Don't Ensigns Louis and Johnson always sit at the same table for lunch?"

"Yeah, they do and they always eat garden salad." Harry sat down next to Tom.

"You're a genius." Tom slapped him on the back. "Garderobe, garden salad they're the same thing, right?"

Harry put the PADD down. "This is preposterous. This…what is it called again?"

"Scavenger hunt."

"This scavenger hunt isn't making any sense. It feels like someone is playing a joke on us."

"Harry, it's just Naomi. What's the worst that could happen?"

"What's the worst that could happen?" Harry, wiped the green goo off of his face as they walked back to Tom's quarter's. "It's just Naomi. What's the worst that could happen?" He pulled a face as he found some more of the sticky substance in his ear. "I'm never spending my day off with you again."

The doors swished open and they two men stepped inside. "How was I supposed to know that Naomi would lead us gallivanting all over the ship? Would you believe me if I said I was sorry?"

"No. I got Leola root mush poured all over me." Harry's voiced raised slightly. "It's even in my nose."

"I got things thrown at me by an angry B'Elanna." Tom rubbed his head where the offensive projectile had hit him.

"If you hadn't walked into her bathroom unannounced, she wouldn't have been angry. Why did you tell her that awful joke? All that did was make her even more mad."

"It was the next clue, remember? It told us to go to my lady's room and tell her a dunny joke." He sat down on the couch and put his feet up on the coffee table.

Harry got a towel from the replicator and continued to wipe off his soiled uniform. "Why did the chicken cross the road? That was your funny joke?"

Tom sighed. "It was all I could think of at the moment."

"You could have come up with a better reason than: crossing the road is irrelevant; the chicken will be assimilated." He shook his head. "I can't believe I agreed to do this with you."

"We're almost done."

"We're almost done? No, I'm not helping you with the last clue. You're on your own for that one."

"Come on, Harry. Just the last clue."

"No, Tom."

"I'll let you be Captain Proton the next time we're on the holodeck."

"I said no."

"The next three times?"

Harry stood, leaving a green stain on the couch.

"Okay, you can be Captain Proton for the next five chapters."

Harry was at the door. "I'll see you on the bridge tomorrow."

"Wait. I - I'll stop making fun of you for falling for that alien who pretended to be a hologram."

He stopped. "And the next five chapters as Captain Proton?"

Tom nodded.

"Fine."

Smiling, he stood and joined Harry by the door. "It's the last clue. It'll be easy."

"Don't. Don't say that."

"Come on Harry. With all the things we've been through today -"

"I said, don't say it. Don't even think it. Read the last clue. I want to get this over with."

Tom picked up the PADD. "The last thing you will do is visit the throne. Here you will receive your just reward. The throne? What does that even mean?"

Harry's throat went dry. "Um, Tom. Weren't you making fun of the way the captain sits on her chair the other day?"

Tom laughed. "I sure was. She sits on it like it's her…like it's her…throne. How did she hear that? We were in your quarters."

Groaning, Harry sat back down on the couch, making a squishing noise. "We're dead. Dead."

The noise of the turbo lift's doors opening startled both men. They looked at each other and hesitantly walked onto the bridge.

Step by aching step, they walked toward her chair - her throne - both imagining what their just reward may be.

They passed Tuvoks' station. He raised a single eyebrow, but said nothing.

Down the stairs. Step by step. The seconds crawled by. Tick, tock, tick, tock.

Harry could hear his own heartbeat.

Tom was having trouble swallowing.

Finally, after an eternity of agonizing silence, the two unfortunate souls reached the throne.

And there sat Captain Kathryn Janeway, her legs crossed at the ankle, leaning toward Chakotay slightly, chin held high, eyes determined. She sat like a queen ready to punish two disloyal subjects.

She turned her head, first looking at Tom, then she examined Harry's clothing.

Tom cringed.

Harry closed his eyes and wished he was somewhere else - anywhere else.

Then she smiled, one of her best smiles, teeth showing, eyes sparkling. "I take it your scavenger hunt went well?"

"Yes, Ma'am, it did," Harry mumbled.

"Naomi did a great job putting it together." She focused on Tom. "Wouldn't you agree, Mr. Paris?"

He gulped. "Yes, she did."

Janeway's face grew serious and she leaned back. "It looks like Harry's going to need a new uniform though. What do you think, Commander?"

Chakotay nodded. "There's a green tint to it that isn't exactly Starfleet approved, and it smells like…" he sniffed. "Leola root."

Janeway made a face. "Mr. Kim, that's not a smell I can allow on my bridge. I'm going to have to ask you to leave and go get cleaned up, but first take Tom to sickbay, will you? It looks like he's going to have a nasty bruise on his head."

Harry was stunned.

Tom let out an audible sigh of relief.

Together, the two friends walked to the turbo lift - to safety.

"Oh, and one more thing," The captain stood and placed her hands on her hips, head held high, ice blue eyes staring them down. "I hear everything."