Allison Cameron yawned as she unlocked the door to the Diagnostic's office. The only good thing about getting here this early was the prospect of a couple hours of alone time to really get caught up on House's paperwork. She turned on her computer and stood there for a moment looking at the stacks of charts and unopened mail sitting on the desk.
"He needs a damn secretary!" she muttered aloud. Her thoughts silently answered her, "Yeah – like THAT is going to happen again any time soon." A small smile broke across Cameron's face as she recalled House's last Administrative Assistant. The poor woman had only lasted four hours before throwing her hands up in exasperation and walking out. Cuddy swore to never send anyone to work for House after that debacle.
Shaking her head and sighing, Cameron walked to the counter to start the coffee. As the coffee maker began its usual gurgle, she removed the glass carafe, replacing it instead with her cup. She turned on the water in the sink to rinse out the carafe and noticed House's red mug sitting in the sink, still stained from yesterday's brew. Rolling her eyes, she couldn't help but think, "Am I his housemaid now, too??" Not that I wouldn't mind, she grinned. Standing there washing his mug, she became lost in her thoughts. Why is it that I can tell everyone I am over him - everyone, that is, but me. With all the bull he puts out, why can't my heart just close to him? Even though it had been the better part of a month since she had kissed him, she could still remember the taste of his lips on hers. She could still feel the roughness of his beard on her skin and how his hands felt on her...
"Hey! You're wasting perfectly good coffee there!"
She jumped at the sound of his voice, dropping his mug into the sink. The crack she heard as the ceramic met the stainless steel resonated over the sound of the coffee sizzling on the hot plate as it ran over the top of her mug. Grabbing the carafe and replacing it on the coffee maker, she looked down into the sink to see the handle had broken off his red cup.
"Tell me that was not MY cup? Jeez Cameron! Where were you? Re-living a hot date or something?"
"Uh, uh, no. You know what it is like before that first cup of coffee," she stammered, hoping that her face was not as red as his mug – his now broken mug. "Sorry about your mug, House. Here" she handed him her cup "Take mine until I can get you a new one."
"Uh – no, don't think so – teddy bears and butterflies are not my thing." He reached past her, grabbing the handle-less mug out of the sink. He looked it over, shrugged and filled it with coffee. "What are you doing here so early, anyway?" he snarked.
"I wanted to get caught up on YOUR paperwork." She grabbed a handful of paper towels and began to clean up the spilled coffee. "But I could ask the same thing of you. You're never here this early." Which is why I was here, she thought.
"Cuddy called me – we've got a new case coming in this morning. She's being airlifted over from Trenton General once the fog lifts." He tossed 3 copies of the file on the conference table, carrying his with him as he limped into his office. And once she woke me up, my leg was hurting too damn much to go back to sleep.
"Did you call Chase and Foreman yet?" she yelled from the conference room.
"No – not yet." Because I wanted some time to myself! Damn her for being so…so…, Cameron and coming in early. This was just the kind of situation he had been trying to avoid for the past month. They hadn't been alone together since that kiss. That kiss! What was she thinking? And what the hell was I thinking kissing her back? She was thinking you were on death's door, that's what she was thinking. He thought back to when she, and all of them, had found out that he had not had brain cancer. The look on her face was burned into his retinas and was there whenever he closed his eyes. They had all looked so angry, but she looked so betrayed. He hadn't started out to hurt her, or anyone for that matter. He had just been looking for some way to relieve the pain.
Cameron took her coffee back to her desk. I'm just going to ignore that he is there and do what I had planned to do this morning. She took her IPod out of her purse, placed the ear-buds in and hit play.
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
An hour had passed since House had come into the office. He had sat there in his reclining chair, tossing his tennis ball and thinking…and watching. Cameron had no idea his eyes were on her. She was lost in her files and her music. My God she is beautiful…yeah – but boy did you screw up any chance of it working. He felt like he was having a great debate with himself – "devil" House on one shoulder and "angel" House on the other. Of course I screwed it up, because nothing good could come of us. He sat and wondered if he had really put the last nail in that coffin. He knew he had been a jerk – but that was who he was, and nothing could change that.
His office door opened and in walked Wilson with a look of surprise on his face. He glanced down at his watch, and then at House again and shook his head. "And you are here this early why? Just to gawk at Cameron?"
House kept watching Cameron and answered back, "It's Oncologist Boy – here at the crack of dawn to save the little bald cancer kids and give me grief. Feel free to leave at any time."
"You're upset because she's still mad at you aren't you? Did you really expect anything different, House? You let her think you were gonna die! You let us ALL think you were going to die!"
House was silent as Wilson continued. "You've been wanting to push her into giving up her feelings for you for years. You finally got what you wanted – but now I'm sensing a bit of regret on your part."
Quietly, he responded. "I didn't mean to hurt her Jimmy. Not like this. Didn't really mean to hurt any of you. This wasn't just about getting high. My leg is getting worse and with Tritter and the Vicodan – what am I going to do when it just doesn't work anymore?"
"I don't know. But pushing away everyone who cares hasn't worked so far – why don't you try a different approach."
For the first time since Wilson had walked in, House turned and looked at him. "Like what?" he asked angrily. "You seem to have all the answers – fill me in!"
"You could start off by apologizing….to everyone – not just to her," Wilson said nodding in Cameron's direction.
House rolled his eyes and sighed, "Right – that will make a big difference. Let me guess – then we can end with a group hug and move forward like it never happened and all will be well with the world."
"Don't be such an ass..."
"It's what I am" he interjected.
"No – it's what you want all of us to think you are. Look, no matter what you say, I know you've got some pretty serious feelings for her and if you don't do something about them, it's going to be too late."
"I think it already is too late."
"Oh – so you've added soothsayer to your resume? I think she would surprise you if you'd give her a chance – if you'd give yourself a chance. Can it be any worse than not knowing?" With that said, Wilson headed down the hall to his office.
House sat there silently watching Cameron work and wondered what he should do. He looked outside and saw that it was getting light and that the fog was beginning to thin out. If I don't say something to her now, I don't know when I'll have the chance again.