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Note: Now in chapters for convenience. Applause, applause.
FROM THE MIXED-UP FILES OF PRINCIPAL KELLY CHAPTER ONE
Fred Dukes, Tabitha Smith, and Todd Tolansky tiptoed down the long school corridors, holding flashlights. Pietro Maximoff kept darting back and forth, circling around them, and looking impatient.
"There it is!" yelled Freddy.
"Shhh..." the others hissed..
"Sorry..." he said sheepishly, "Here, let me get the door." And with that, he pulled the door off its hinges. Everyone sighed.
Pietro grinned wickedly. "My-fellow-mutants." he said with a flourish, "May-I-present-Principal-Kelly's-office-in-all-its-glory."
"Check it out, yo." Toad pointed to a file cabinet labeled 'Confidential'.
"Excellent. Boom-Boom-do-your-stuff." Pietro commanded.
Tabby formed an energy bomb and placed it inside the keyhole. "3,2,1, Ignition!" she grinned as the bomb exploded, opening the drawer and revealing its contents.
Tap, tap. "Run for it! Women and freshmen first!" hollered Toad.
"Don't-sweat-it. It's-just-Lance." said Pietro.
"Hi, Lance!" Freddy waved.
Lance scowled. "H-h-hurry it up in th-there. My car's b-batteries are gonna run out." he pointed to the rusty Jeep that served as their getaway car.
"Someone has to be on guard duty." Tabby told him. "You should just chill out."
"Chill out? I'm f-freezing!" Lance complained.
"Hey, you're the one who volunteered to be lookout." Tabby stated matter-of-factly.
"I did NOT volunteer." Lance pouted. "You jerks m-made me!"
"That's-what-you-get-for-ditching-us-to-be-with-the-X-Geeks." Pietro glowered at him. "As-one-who's-been-demoted-to-the-ranks-of-'Goomba-Boy'-you-automatically-get-last-choice-for-assignments."
"Yeah, I get to be a Koopa now, yo." Toad's chest swelled with pride.
'It was a mistake to ever let them play Nintendo.' thought Lance, 'Now I'm going to be stuck here forever while they're doing who knows what to wreck Kelly's office and I don't get to have any fun'. Craving vandalism, he absentmindedly began kicking nearby objects until.. "Oh, shit! My Jeep!" he cried. In his rage he had made a large dent in the fender.