I didn't know what I was doing here. Tumblr Pines: Home for the Mentally Unstable. It sounded less like a loony bin and more like some gymnastics clinic to me. As we pulled up to the front entrance, I noticed that at first glance it looked entirely normal. I mean, it was a stereotypical mental hospital. Big stone building, large sign out front, huge double doors. But no one was outside; no patients played chess at the abandoned tables, no one wandered across the front lawns. It looked completely abandoned.
I turned to Brooke, "Are you sure about this?" I asked hesitantly. She was the one who referred me here in the first place; something about it having the best sense of community and family.
I wasn't really sure how much I trusted her judgement.
"Yes! Ash. It's great. Trust me," she smile encouragingly.
"How come you can't come in with me?" My suspicion grew when she told me it was something I had to figure out on my own.
"Brooke, I'm not mentally unstable," I tried to assert my normalcy, but she just laughed and shook her head.
"I don't think you quite understand the point of Tumblr," then after a moment she added, "You'd be surprised how much it can help."
I remained quiet, relatively unsure of whether I wanted to do this or not.
"Come on Ashley. What can it hurt? If it's not your thing you can just leave," she unlocked the car doors, politely inviting me to exit.
"Well, I can't argue with that, I guess." I popped open the door and stepped out of the car.
"See ya around, yeah?" Brooke asked.
I bent down to say goodbye, "Yeah, I'll see ya."
She smiled one last time and I closed the door, turning back towards the building. From outside it was absolutely silent. I turned and watched Brooke drive away before steeling my nerves and walking to the front door of Tumblr Pines.
The Sign In -
The double doors swung open to reveal a lobby, completely adorned in blue. The wooden floors, the walls, the ceiling: all a musty blue. Except for the checkin counter, which was a white computer desk. Behind it sat a woman in white nurse's clothing. She look up as the doors clicked shut behind me. Her smile was almost as white as her gown as she beamed up at me,
"New or returning patient?" she asked in a sweet voice.
"Uh... new." I answered.
If possible her smile grew even wider. "Wonderful. Well I'm just gonna need some information from you. If you could fill everything out on this form here, we'll just get you signed in and on your way." She turned her computer screen towards me and placed the keyboard in front of it, gesturing for me to take a seat.
I sank into the chair across from her and quickly filled out the information, keenly aware of the soothing elevator music playing from the blue speakers on the wall. I briefly wondered how the woman maintained her sanity, listening to the music, and then laughed at the irony of the woman losing her sanity in a mental hospital.
Maybe I belonged here more than I thought.
I turned the screen back to the woman.
"Excellent. Now we just need you to choose a username."
I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion, "A username?"
"Yes. We here at Tumblr Pines believe wholeheartedly in protecting the identities of our patients. We give our patients the decision to give out their real identities when and if they feel comfortable to do so. However, we do strongly advise against it."
"Okay," I replied, unsure of what to say, "Can't I just be ashley?"
Her smile was back, "I'm sorry, that username is occupied."
"Oh, um... ashleya?"
"I'm sorry, that username is occupied."
"ash?"
"I'm sorry, that username is occupied."
"ash-ley?"
"That username is available." Her blinding teeth smiled back up at me, "Welcome to Tumblr Pines, ash-ley. Remember, you can change your username at any time during your stay. Just come back and see me." At this, she handed me a name tag that read: ash-key.
"Thanks, I guess." I smiled at her as best as I could. She kind of put me off. There was something about her that I couldn't quite put my finger on it. But I quickly shook it off.
The woman gestured for me to exit through a door I hadn't previously noticed.
At this point I didn't really know what to expect, but when I opened the door my jaw almost dropped.
The Initiation
I just the lobby, hundreds of people milled about. Some of them sat around staring blankly at walls. Others wrote on white boards that were attached to the walls all the way around the room. Most of their name tags read names similar to mine. I saw a john-h and an addisond. They almost all looked as lost as I felt. One by one, however, they seemed to find their way back into one of the two doors that lead out of the main room.
I stood for a moment, utterly overwhelmed by the amount of sheer chaos, but soon someone tapped on my shoulder. I turned to see a grinning Brooke.
"Brooke...?" I began to ask but she quickly cut me off.
"Not here," she pointed at her own worn name tag.
"We-are-the-exception...?" I squinted to read it, "That's your username?"
She smiled, "It's a nerdfighter thing. John and Hank Green. Anyway, you have to choose." She pointed to the two doors.
I squinted at the signed above them. One read Fandom and the other read Hipster.
What the heck did that mean?
I turned back to Brooke who nodded. I looked back across the room. One thing was for sure. I couldn't stay in here or I would end up like the crazies that stared at the walls.
"Do I have to stay in the ward at I choose now?" I asked.
Brooke shook her head, "Oh no. But it's really hard to get out once you get in one. You pretty much have to change your entire identity. "
I shook my head: what was I getting myself into? Brooke led me across the room.
"Which one are you in?" If I was going to have to go somewhere, I might as well not go in alone.
"Fandom," she answered.
"Okay," I pulled open the Fandom door, "Let's go." And we stepped inside.
Doors lined the walls of a huge, musty, blue room. A few people wandered around, seemingly decided which door to try first.
"Come on, I'll give you a tour. Show you the ropes." I followed Brooke to the first door. Inside was a long hall, rooms lining it on both sides. People were everywhere.
"Harry Potter ward." Brooke stated.
People jumped around, brooms clutched between their legs. They waved long pieces of sticks at each other, shouting spells, and throwing colored strips of paper at each other.
"This is the biggest ward, and pretty much the oldest, besides Classic Who. Almost everyone has a room here."
Something about that statement stuck in my brain, "Wait, what? Don't you just have one room?"
She laughed and shook her head, "No. Most everyone in the Fandom ward are multi-fandom patients. For every fandom you join you get a room in that ward. So others can come and talk to you and see what interests you have."
I didn't reply, just turned and watched the Harry Potter madness. No one noticed us as we stood observing.
"The Potterheads, that's what we call them, are always active. Their movies are over and their books are done, but they are persistent little buggers," she pulled on my arm, "Lots to see, love. Let's get a move on."
I allowed her to pull me from the hall and we entered the blue room again. She pulled open the next door and we stepped inside. This ward was completely silent, all the doors were shut, their occupants all asleep. But the hall was decorated with symbols of fairytale characters. An apple labeled Snow White, a crown called Regina, and a full wall mural of a stunning castle.
Brooke spoke up from my side, "Once Upon a Time Ward. They won't be up and moving until Fall. It's not a big enough ward to be too active during hiatus."
We exited and walked to the next door.
A sheet was covering the entire ward. Nothing moved underneath and there was silence.
"This is the Homestuck Ward. I don't really know anything about them. They just kind of show up sometimes. I dunno."
We left quickly.
The next room was completely full of technology. It looked like we stepped onto some kind of super charged airplane. Kids ran around sporting pointy ears, speaking to each other in thick Russian accents.
"Star Trek," Brooke stated.
"What's back there?" I asked, pointing to the end of the hall. The technology back there was ancient, and seemingly non-functional.
"Old Generation," she answered.
I had no idea what that mean, but I didn't press it. Brooke led me to the next room.
We almost couldn't see the floor or walls. Everything was covered in foliage: fake trees, dirt, leaves. Every door was small and round. The inhabitants threw china to each other, and next to the door a group sat around a fake campfire on wooden stumps, singing in low voices.
"Hobbit and the Lord of the Rings. They just barely got a new movie and a new one comes out in the fall. So they're incredibly active." We left quickly, dodging flying tupperware.
In the next ward we stepped into space. The walls and floor were all covered in wallpaper. All the rooms were closed up by double doors that looked to me like an old 50's Police Box.
"Doctor Who."
I jumped back as a girl fell to her knees in front of me, clutching at my shirt.
"Matt Smith!" she sobbed, "How can we be expected to let go of our beloved baby giraffe?!"
I looked at Brooke in alarm.
"Their losing their god," she whispered and leaned down to the distraught girl. Putter her arms around her, she spoke softly to her, "It's okay, sweetheart. I know. But keep thinking, maybe this time he'll be a ginger."
I looked on, completely lost. Who would be ginger? This time?!
The girls' sobs gradually quieted and she stood, "You're right. There's always hope. He'll still be the same old Doctor.
Brooke smiled at her, "That's right." The girl returned her smile and turned to the crowd of people in long trench coats and bow ties.
As we exited the room, I noticed some statues above the main doors, "Who are they?" I asked pointing to them.
She followed my finger, "Oh! Those are the Tumblr Royalty: Jennifer Lawrence, Emma Stone, Benedict Cumberbatch, and Tom Hiddleston. Don't worry, you'll get to know them."
Next she pulled me into the Avengers Ward. Men ran around, wielding bows and hammers. Women ran around in tight fitting black clothes, punching each other and doing other martial artsy things. I noticed one boy in what looked like a ram's horn helmet. He stepped onto a large box and yelled as loud as he could,
"Kneel!" He then laughed gleefully as he was pursued by a man in a metal suit and something large and green.
"They feel the need to be loud and obnoxious whenever they can, because they're often forgotten."
I nodded silently and we left.
Outside the next door, Brooke stopped me.
"Before we go in I have to warn you about this next ward: They call themselves 'high-functioning sociopaths'. They're brilliant. Well, most of them. Do not speak to them, they will tear you apart. They've been through a lot. They're main character committed suicide almost two years ago, so they're edgy."
I nodded and Brooke pushed open the door.
There was no hall here. Just one large open room. In it was a large face building, atop of which stood a man in a long black trench coat and a blue scarf. Crowds of people stood around, looking up at him. Without warning he spread his arms and jumped. I almost screamed, but Brooke slapped a hand over my mouth.
"Watch," she hissed.
The man fell, a jump that could have injured, but not killed him. Suddenly, a cart backed up and caught him, cushioning him with pillows.
"He could have landed in the truck and a fake body could have been used." A boy marked where the man would have landed with a red X as he spoke. His arms were covered in nicotine patches. His eye twitched as he turned around.
"Do they sleep?" I whispered to Brooke.
A girl nearest to me turned as I spoke, "Judging by the name tag, you're a newbie. First time around the fandoms. Haven't chosen yet. A reader, been up for about four hours. Get out of here newbie. You lower the IQ of the whole room," she turned abruptly, "What if they don't explain it? What is he just shows back up?"
Brooke grabbed my arm and quickly pulled me from the room.
"What the heck was that?!" I demanded.
Brooke smile sympathetically, " told you not to talk. They're cunning and quick and ruthless. You're lucky they didn't really go off on you."
We took a second in the hall for me to recover. The girl had shocked me. She was the first person to really address me. Brooke took the opportunity to prep me more for the next room.
"Okay, love. The next room is gonna be the craziest. I've never had a room in there, but I've seen them around. They're a part of the big 3 fandoms, along with Doctor Who and Sherlock. That's the room we just left."
We walked over to the door, "This is the Supernatural Ward," with this she pushed open the door, "Welcome to the Hellatus."
Someone spotted us right away. He wore a plaid shirt, open over a polo, and then a leather jacket over them both with jeans and sturdy looking boots. But he wasn't the only one dressed as such. Pretty much everyone in the room looked like that. Those few who weren't, all wore tan trench coats and backwards ties.
The boy grabbed both of our arms, "Newcomers!" he shouted over his shoulder. A path opened in the crowded hallway and he pulled us through to an empty room. It was plastered from floor to ceiling with pictures. And not even a variety of pictures. It was the same picture over and over again: the serious face of a man I didn't recognize.
Our unwanted escort set us down in two chairs in the center of the room. Brooke leaned over to me as he left the room,
"This last April Fools Day, the fandom went a little crazy. They covered everything in pictures of Misha Collins. That's him," she said, nodding to the walls, "Called it the Mishapocalypse. That morning, everything was Misha. And then, the next morning, BANG!, it was all gone. Like it never happened. this is the only place I've found that even suggests it happened at all."
The boy reentered the room, followed by a trench-coatee. They each held a box in their hand. Another girl entered the room, but she stayed by the door, clutching a shotgun, real or fake, I couldn't tell, guarding the exit.
"Sorry ladies, routine checks. We have to be sure."
The boy in the trench coat smile apologetically as he set his box down next to me and pulled out a silver knife. Before I could protest, he pressed it against the exposed skin on my forearm. I looked over at Brooke.
"Just let 'em do what they have to. They won't hurt you."
I shook my head. "Whatever," I grumbled.
Next, the boy pulled out a salt shaker. "Could you hold out your hand please?" he asked.
I complied and he poured a small pile of salt into my palm.
He smiled at me, "Not a demon."
I looked at him blankly. Was that supposed to be a compliment?
"Just one more," he said, pulling out a spray bottle. When he sprayed my hand it smelled familiar.
"Is that cleaning supplies?" I asked, shaking my hand to dry it.
"Yep. Not Leviathan," he states, returning it to his box .
The girl spoke up from the doorway, "Okay, Tanner. They're not dangerous. Let them go. Look at her. She's obviously still choosing, you're gonna scare her away." She approached me and held out her hand.
"Hi, I'm Charlotte, but you can call me Charlie. This is Tanner and that's Josh." I took her hand and she pulled me to my feet.
"I'm Ashley," I replied, "That's..." I wasn't sure if she wanted me giving out her name here, but she picked up the trailed off sentence.
"I'm Brooke," she smiled.
I was starting to like this fandom more and more. Definitely more than the Sherlock ward.
"Last time I was here you guys had more angel proofing..." Brooke trailed off at the look on the three fans' faces.
Tanner was the first one to speak, "They all fell."
"We're not supposed to talk about it," David added.
Brook looked stricken, "Oh my gosh! I had no idea! I'm so sorry you guys!"
Charlie waved her off. "It's fine. We're learning to live with it. Besides, it makes for great fanfiction: grumpy morning Cas," she smiled wider.
Brooke smiled, "You a Destiel shipper?"
Charlie nodded, "Who isn't?"
I couldn't contain my confusion, "A what?"
David turned to Brooke, "You haven't shown her shipping yet?"
She shook her head, "We were headed over there next, after we visited the Les Mis Ward."
Charlie shook her head, "Don't bother. They barricaded the door again. Besides, you're dressed wrong. They'd shoot you dead before you got ten feet. You might be able to hear them singing if you get close enough, though."
Brooke came and hooked her arm through mine, "Thanks. We should get going. Set up a room for Ashley, yeah? I think she'll be back."
David nodded, "Will do."
Brooke led me from the ward. Back in the blue room, she walked me to the second to last door.
"I liked them," I said.
She smiled, "I figured you would. This is shipping. It's a part of every fandom." She pushed open the door. Inside was another large room. It was full of tables, around which people were sitting and talking.
"Every fandom has several different ships. In Supernatural, for example, you've got thousands. You've got your basics: Destiel, Megstiel, even your Wincest. Watch out for the. They're a little eccentric..."
She trailed off as a scuffle arose across the room. Two tables shouted at each other,
"Cas deserves Dean! He pulled him out of Hell! They share a profound bond! He deserves more than a filthy demon!"
"Meg cared for Cas when he lost his mind! He loves her!"
Brooke grabbed my arm, steering me back towards the door, "Ship Wars. We should go before it gets ugly."
All heck broke loose behind us as the door swung closed.
"You'll get a ship when you get a fandom." She pushed open the last door.
"And here we have the role players, or the RPers for short."
Different scenes played out all across the large room. People acted out scenes from movies or scenes they seemed to be making up on the spot.
I wanted to stay longer, but Brooke pulled me out, "You can watch them later."
Movement caught my eye. A person exited the Sherlock Ward and approached a dry erase board, covered in writing. He read through a couple and left a snide comment below one, before heading off in the direction of the Doctor Who ward.
"What's with the dry erase boards?" I asked. They had been in every ward we visited. People wrote on them, some left comments below previous ones, or wrote new things themselves.
"Text posts," she replies, "More popular people get more comments. But eventually, most every post gets buried beneath the new ones."
We stood in the middle of the blue room now. Patients wandered from ward to ward.
"So that's it. That's Tumblr. I've never really checked out the Hipster ward before. When you get a fandom you don' really ever want to leave."
I nodded. I could feel the pull to be accepted by them. To have a place in the community.
"You gonna stay?" she asked.
I smiled, "Yeah, I think so."
She returned her smile.
"Good luck, deary," Brooke hugged me, "Go find a home."
She left me in the blue room, looking at the doors. Which one to choose? Where would I make my first Tumblr home?
A door opened and Charlie popped her head out. She smiled when she spotted me.
"Hey there you are. I was wondering where you went. We're having a marathon: Supernatural Season 1. Wanna come?"
I smiled again at her.
"Yeah, thanks." I followed her into the ward, leaving the blue room empty behind us.