CHAPTER ONE
~Jenna~
What goes on within the world of a fanfiction? What the writer desires of it, correct? But what if an intruder entered a very badly-written fanfic?
I was that intruder once.
My name's Carlos DarkCaller. Originally, I was from a Wizard101 fanfiction called Bane of the World. It was relatively well-written, save some required suspension of disbelief and grammatical errors.
But that's nothing compared to what I was about to enter.
For those who had read that fic, you remember my Fierce Hound, Prince Diesel, a small, yet incredibly smart, red-and-black dog who can cast healing magic. He's the reason we're both in this mess.
Within a time-span of 52 hours he had constructed a device that allows transport through fanfiction. How does a dog build anything, you might ask? I just said that our original fanfic requires suspension of disbelief.
As soon as he had built that device, we were whisked away into another world. A blue portal appeared underneath us and, within seconds, we were in a green field, with a castle town not too far ahead of us.
I slowly got off of the ground and looked beside me. Diesel was there, looking at our surroundings. There were mountains a few miles away, and there was a river not too far away.
Diesel seemed to recognize this place, as he was jumping around as if he was excited to be here. Oh boy, oh boy! the dog barked. I recognize this place! It's... it's HYRULE!
"Hyrule? You mean, from the Legend of Zelda series?" I asked. I wasn't, at the time, a huge Legend of Zelda fan. I knew of the games and had seen Diesel playing Ocarina of Time, but I hadn't really gotten to playing any of the games myself.
Yeah, from Zelda! he barked in return. C'mon, let's go to Castle Town!
It slowly changed from night to day as we were walking into town. Well, I was walking; Diesel was running like the castle town was made of bacon and turkey. We crossed the moat and entered the town.
Hmm... That's odd... Diesel barked quietly.
"What's odd?" I asked him.
Well... the town seems... different from the games...
"Well, this IS a fanfic, not the real thing."
I know, but...
He was right, though; from what I remembered about Diesel playing Ocarina of Time, the castle town looked very different. It looked more like a Victorian town, although the residents looked mostly like their video game counterparts.
In the center of the fanfic's Castle Town was a merchant's wagon with a pretty young lady standing in front of it. She couldn't have been much older than ten, maybe twelve at most. Around her were a swarm of customers, eager to buy her wares of jewelry and cloth.
Diesel and I became curious and walked towards her as she sold beautiful clothes and necklaces to the residents of Castle Town. Eventually, we got to the front.
"Why, hello there," the young lady said. "Anything you'd like to buy?" Her eyes turned to Diesel and she gasped. "Oh my goddesses, what a cute puppy!"
Well, Diesel barked, that's what all the ladies- hey, wait! I am NOT a puppy! I'm a fierce hound, lady!
She giggled. "He's so cute."
"Thanks," I replied. "So, what are you selling?"
"Well," she said, turning around to her wagon and pulling out a box of necklaces, "I'm having a sale on magical amulets."
"Magical amulets?" I asked. How on earth would an ordinary merchant in the Zelda universe get magical amulets?
"That's right!" she exclaimed, picking out a grey stone necklace with a triforce symbol on it. "You'd look great in this one!"
She handed it to me and I put it on.
Looks nice on you, Carlos! Diesel barked.
"Thanks!" I said, looking at all her jewelry and clothing, many of them having the triforce on them. Suddenly, something hit me. Although I wasn't a big Zelda fanatic, I was at least knowledgable on certain topics, such as the Triforce. "Wait a moment, Miss-"
"You can call me Jenna." she said, interrupting me.
"Okay then, Jenna. How come you have the triforce - a sacred symbol which not many people in Hyrule know about - on almost all your stuff?"
She looked scared for a moment, as if I had struck a sensitive point with her. Then she began to yell.
"LOOK, PAL, WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING, INSULTING A MERCHANT LIKE THAT! AND A LADY MERCHANT, AT THAT! YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF FOR NOT ACTING LIKE AN ADULT AND INSTEAD ACTING LIKE A CHILD!"
"Well, ma'am, I'm only fifteen-"
"YOU SHOULD KNOW THAT IT'S YOUR RESPONSIBILITY TO TAKE RESPONSIBILITY AND NOT CRITICISE EVERYTHING IN THE WORLD, YOU PIECE OF-"
"Hey, Jenna, let's not get nasty here-"
"AND HOW DARE YOU INTERRUPT ME, YOU WOLFOS-SCENTED BABOON! YOU SHOULD KNOW BETTER THAN TO DO THAT; OR ARE YOU JUST A RETARDED LITTLE KID WHO LOVES TO FLAME EVERYONE HE SEES?"
"Okay, this is starting to get out of hand, madam! You should probably stop yelling like that, okay?"
"OH, WHO CARES IF I YELL? ALL I CARE ABOUT IS THAT HALF-BRAINED IDIOTS LIKE YOU DON'T GO AROUND INSULTING EVERYONE HE SEES! GODDESSES!"
"Okay, okay! Look, can't I just pay you for the necklace and get on my way?"
She sighed. "Okay. That'll be 100 Rupees."
"What! One hundred?"
"No more, no less," she said.
I went into my pocket and pulled out some gold coins. "Can I use foreign currency?"
She looked at my gold for a moment, as if pondering to herself. "Is that real gold?" she asked.
"Yes, ma'am," I replied, and she snatched them from my hand.
"Thank you for your patronage. If you had paid me from the gecko instead of criticising my wares, we could've avoided my ridiculous tirade, now couldn't've we?
"Umm... gecko?"
She glared at me, and I just smiled and walked away.
Wow, Diesel barked. That must be a character the author hates.
"How do you know?" I asked.
She was yelling at us in a very unprofessional manner. Also, this is a fanfic, where people can edit their author avatars to make them sound likable before uploading them to the internet. Therefore, I deduce that the girl we encountered - Jenna was her name, yes? - was, most likely a representation of a person that the author despises. Pretty good theory, right Carlos?
"It's not a good thing when my dog is smarter than me," I said, walking with my eyes closed now.