hi! so...A/Ns seem so easy...XP

Disclaimer:

I (sadly) am not the owner of hetalia axis powers but as soon as i get the money i will be the owner of Romano cosplay (if that counts for anything)

Romano's POV
Babyshowers are stupid. They're the most retarded things since pizza flavored goldfish(huge disappointment!). So when that bastard America gave me an invitation to his and the scone sucker's babyshower I was quick to refuse. That is until Veniciano dragged me along. Apparently he had even told them he would bring me because they werent surprised i was there.
But still. Babyshowers are stupid. Especially the vegetable platters they put out. They have tomatos but they're cherry tomatos. CHERRY TOMATOS! And cherry tomatos are the nasty crap ever. Its like they tried to take an amazing tomato and shrink it down...which robbed it of its flavor.
"Vee~ fratello! Fratello! Look! They have tomatos! Aren't you glad you came?"
"No. Those are cherry tomatos stupid. And you know how i feel about cherry tomatos." My stupid little brother just smiled at me like an idiot.
"Oh thats right. You're a picky eater vee~"
"No I'm not. I'm just very praticular about my tomatos."
"Vee~ alright then. Oh! Big brother france is here! Don't you wanna say hello?"
"No. I don't want to say anything to the bastard perv."
"Vee~ romaaaano! That's not nice!"
"You're mom's not nice."
"But fratello! My mom is your mom!"
"I know. That's why she isn't nice."
"...o-ok..."
"Now go away. It's bad enough you dragged me to this damn thing."
"Vee~ ok fratello. I'll go talk to germany!"
"Stay away from that potato bastard!"
"But romano! Germany is nice! He makes good food that doesn't suck like England's does!"
"Look around retard. Who's shower are we at?"
"America's?"
"And?"
"...America?"
"So the burger brained bastard reproduces asexually now does he?"
"...yes?"
"No retard! Jeez...people think you're better than me but you're such an idiot..."
"Ok! Im gonna go sit with Germany now!"
"Sure. Whatever. Have fun."

This could possibly be the most boring day ever. After being assalted by France, i chose to sit against the wall behind the table so no one would find me. It was a great hiding spot...until i got hungry...damn stomach! So i had to stand up and get food.
'Stupid god damn cherry tomatos! Ugh and scones? Really? Bastards.' Im reluctantly reaching for a cherry tomato when out of no where a bright red, round tomato falls onto the tray.
"da hell?"
"Hello lovi~!"
"Ah shit...hello spain."
"Ah lovi! It hurts that you no longer call me antonio!"
"You can take your pain and shove it up your ass."
"Ah! Im wounded!"
"Your mom's wounded."
"Hey! You keep my mamá out of this!"
"Whatever. Why the hell are you here bastard?"
"Because arthur invited me."
"No i mean why are you standing behind me. And get your hand...off my ass." I said through gritted teeth.
"Aw but lovi~ your ass is so cute!"
"Shut the hell up bastard." I spun around and jabbed him in the stomach with my knee.
"Ah! L-lovi! T-that hurt!"
"Damn bastard..."
"Hey dudes! Hows it goin?"
"Hola alfred! Congratulations on the adoption."
"Thanks, although iggy wont let me name the kids captain America And super man! He thinks they're "absolutely ridiculous names for children." Not that his names weren't ridiculous. He wanted to call them sherlock and watson. What kind of names are those?"
"British names?"
"Exactly!"
"Look if you two bastards dont mind, im leaving."
"But lovi~!"
"Shut. Up." I left the room, slightly mad at myself for not taking the tomato.

"The rules of the game are simple. You cant say baby, twins, arthur, england, america, or alfred. If you say any of those words, the first person to hear you can take your clothespin. If you hear someone else say any of those words, you can take theirs. The game starts now."
"Great. Another stupid babyshower game."
"Ha! Fratello! You said the b-word! Give me your clothespin!"
"What? Gah. Dammit. Fine. Take the stupid thing."
"Yay! Germany! Germany! Look germany! I have two!"
I watched in disgust as my stupid brother hugged the stupid potato bastard. And i nearly vomitted when england and america kissed.
'When is this gonna be over? I swear to god if this takes up my entire sunday im gonna be pissed. ...shit whered that bastard spaniard go? I bet hes about to come up behind me and molest me in some way. Oh. That hand wrapped around my waist must be him. That or that french bastard.'
"Bonjour little roma."
'Shit. Its the rapist.'
"What the hell do you want?"
"Romano, mon cher-"
"Im not your dear."
"Oh...but i think you are."
Smirking, i started "panicing"
"CHIGI! RAPE!"
"France, bro. Not cool Man. We said you could come if you didnt molest people."
"Amérique, je n'aurais jamais! I would never!"
"Dude, bro, we all know you would. And you just said my name. So cough up your clothespin."
"..." the perv took the clothespin off of his jackets collar and threw it to america, who was about a foot away from where it landed.
"francis, tengo un hacha. y necesita afilado. My ax is in needd of sharpening. Would you like to help me sharpen it?"
"N-n-no, no i'm good."
"Then get your hands off of romano."
"Damn bastard, i can handle this my self."
"revoir romano, mon cher. If i stay any longer antonio will surely hurt me. Off to find arthur's maids!"
"Go away spain."
"Lovi, why have you been avoiding me?"
"I said go away."
"Please lovi, tell me why you dont ever talk to me anymore."
"I said go away."
"I'll make a deal with you. If you lose the clothes pin game, you'll let me hug you. If you lose the next game, a kiss. The game after that you get dinner with me. If you lose every game, you stay at my house for a week. What do you say?"
"...if i win what happens?"
"Whatever you want."
"...you bring me one tomato for every win i get."
"Deal."
"You're on bastard."

hi anyone who read this! sorry for any and all spelling/grammar errors. i typed this on my phone originally and memo doesn't have auto correct and what not. anyway this is my first (uploaded) fanfic. probably the easiest one to write too XD anyway thanks so so so much for reading! I'll try to get a second chapter up soon but i have the MSAs for the next two weeks so i might not get the time to write. but yeah. Thanks for reading!