"…I behaved as though my initial revulsion at the sight of Jonathon was gone. I would bring him over to Maryse Lightwood's house, let him play with her baby son, Alec. Sometimes Céline Herondale would join us— she was pregnant by that time…"

Johnathon sat still and silent in my arms— Maryse was glad to have myself and Johnathon over, to talk, to let the babies interact, to have a joint advice session for Céline— and didn't even budge when I sat him down in the center of her rug next to little Alec Lightwood.

Alec was quiet too, but more facially expressive. He'd scrunch his nose up when he was unhappy, and just barely smile when his mother passed by.

Maryse placed a bottle in the one-year-old's pudgy hands, who gulped milk down quickly from it. Johnathon still did nothing, even when the other baby's cobalt eyes landed on him. He was new and different, and Alec hadn't seen another baby before. He was cute— excruciatingly cute.

I would have gladly traded for the sweetheart in a second.

Johnathon kept staring.

Maryse and I made small talk, but didn't really say much until Céline made her way around and Alec finished his bottle. We chatted up a storm, watching the two just have a continuous staring contest, even around Alec's bottle, and then after when Maryse was washing it out.

Alec reached a curious hand out for his knee, an unruly mop of hair nearly over his eyes as he leaned.

And I had another reason to hate my son, right then when he revealed to almost-strangers how wrong he was.

He shrieked at Alec's touch, startling Alec so badly he started wailing as well, and curling up into himself. I had no choice but to cradle him until he stopped, his tunnel eyes just staring, completely back to normal in an instant.

Alec was still crying into his mother's breast, afraid in a way a baby should never be. I was feeling so guilty, that I subjected a child to this. I apologized to him wordlessly, setting Johnathon back down and praying this would be over soon…

bah, I was horrified when she said "I let my freak son play with Alec when they were babies"

poor Alec. XD