Loss of the Angels
(( So, because it's been two years, I thought, 'hey, instead of just continuing, why don't I restart and just make it better! But, I warn you, I have also been busy with a Roleplay-fanfiction, so, it may take a while for me to post. I hope this doesn't become a repeat of the original… I'll try my best! By the way, I'm a little worried though, because I'll be going away for a week at the end of August, and when school starts, I'm going to be in the IB (International Baccalaureate) program which is basically a 'smart people' program... x.x... so, the work load is going to be insane, I know. Also, I have to do community service and such for it, so I will be REALLY busy... but, I will try my very best, but don't hurt me if I fail TT.TT))
((Daisuke's POV))
"Dark…" I sigh into still air. The quiet sound seems loud with the lack of movement around the house. I close my eyes and imagine Wiz, smiling up at me, hoping to be cute enough to earn a strawberry. But no, I open my eyes, and he's gone, run away, my last connection to the Angel that was once inside me. Already it's been a week, but the emptiness wont go away. I stare at my clock and almost laugh, 11:11. If mom were home, she'd scold me for being up so late, 'a good student needs sleep.' Once again I am reminded that the house is empty, my parents are gone on an anniversary trip, and Grandpa, who was supposed to look after me, decided I could look after myself while he visited an old friend. The phone is also much too silent lately, as my girlfriend Riku and I had broken up, thanks to a new student who caught her eye… Some days I hated Dark and how he would make fun of me, but it seems that without him everything just goes wrong.
"Help me…" I find myself involuntarily whispering as blackness surrounds. It begins to engulf me, slowly creeping over me. I am frozen, sitting in the corner with my knees up to my chin. "Help me." I whisper again as the shadow moves over my legs, starting to make its way towards my stomach. The darkness completely takes over and I am falling, falling into nothingness.
I feel something wrap around my wrist and pull me back up, into the light. "Careful." I can almost hear the smirk in the voice, but I can't tell who it is. The light is too bright and I can't see anything. I look up and slowly start to move towards the figure, getting just close enough that I am almost touching it, before falling to the ground. I see a flash of dark purple pass my line of vision before the world becomes completely black.
I bolt up into a sitting position the moment I wake, turning to the clock… 1 in the morning. 'Who… was that?' I think, trying my best to recall the last parts of the dream. 'That voice… purple…' I nearly scream as I fall back down, air escaping my lips loudly as my head and upper back hit the bed. "Go away…" I mutter. Though I really don't mean it, I know, because I want him to come back. This is torture, I can feel him there, he's my memories, but it's not for real; it's like someone offering a cold drink on a hot day, only to find it's a joke and nothing's in the cup. 'The memories… how you teased me about the Harada's so much, and the time Satoshi preformed CPR on me, you would tease me about anything, and I would do anything to hear those comments again, no matter how mean they were. You know that? I would do anything, but I know it's impossible… '
I spring out of bed suddenly, running down the halls, barely pausing to get on my shoes. I need to get out, I can't stand it anymore. I keep running, I run till I feel like I'm going to collapse. When I finally do, I fall onto a wooden bench. The last thing I see is the fountain, the secret entrance to the second hand of time. 'You're everywhere…' I murmur before finally curling up against the spring wind and shutting my eyes and letting the calm waves of sleep lap over me.
((The Next Day))
The first thing I realize is that I am not on a bench, in fact, I'm on something soft. The second thing I realize is that even with my eyes closed I can tell that the sunlight pouring into the window is much stronger than it should be at 7 in the morning… I bolt up into a sitting position, making myself dizzy and falling back down. 'I have to stop doing that…' I look around the room, squinting against the sunlight, everything is either a pale blue, silver, white, and any other colour is a very calm and toned down hue. I easily notice the bright red numbers on the clock atop a soft brown side-table, they read: 12:44.
"Ah, no, no, no!" I jump up again, ignoring the dizzy feeling, and try to figure out where I am, why I'm not at school, and how to get there and explain why I'm late.
"I called in sick for you." I nearly trip over the bed as I come to a sudden stop. I blink a couple times at the figure at the door. "Hi." I know he's mocking my current inability to figure everything out, I can hear the laughter in his voice.
"Ah, Hiwatari-san," I bow embarrassedly as my words began to flow faster than my mind. "I shouldn't be here, I mean, I thank you for letting me stay here; is this your bed? I didn't mean to be a bother, I'm sorry, I mean, you didn't have to… why am I here?" I look at him and straighten up, mentally slapping myself as he smirks at me. 'Great, just made a fool of myself, like usual…'
"Slow down… you're not telling your life story in a minute." I mumble a sorry, keeping my eyes on the ground. "I felt you would much rather be here then outside… I would have taken you to your own home, but I realized that would be difficult to explain to your mom." His expression is calm, cool, as if there's something hidden behind it.
"Mom's not home…But anyways, uhm… if this is your bed, where did you sleep?" I ask curiously, he just shrugs.
"The couch." I open my mouth to apologize for making him sleep on the couch, but he shakes his head. "It was my choice." He leans against the doorframe, looking at me, I'm about to ask why when a too-loud sound rumbles from within my stomach, causing me to close my half-opened mouth and blush. "Hungry?" He smiled in his smirk-like way, I shake my head, but my stomach growls a little again. 'That's what I get for not eating supper…' I can hear a slight chuckle from the slender male. "You're lying, it's not a good habit. I'll go make something for us to eat."
"k-kay." I nod and he walked out of room.
A half an hour later I'm sitting across from Satoshi, eating a rice and vegetable dish, which I must say is really good. I stop eating and glance at his portion that his is picking at, which is almost half of mine. "You know, you really should eat more, I mean, I shouldn't be given so much and you…"
"You also use a lot more energy than I do…" the blue-haired youth notes before sipping on his tea. I nod, knowing there's no use in arguing.
A half hour passes and I am full and dressed in a borrowed outfit from Satoshi. I bow slightly as I say goodbye, but as I straighten up, the ice-eyed male steps closer to me, making me step back against the door.
"Hiwatari-san?" I say as calmly as I can, though I know I sound quite surprised, I am.
"Last night… there were tears on your face. I know it's Dark, but, I feel he can come back. He's still close by, but till then, don't lose yourself." He pauses, and smiles just slightly. I notice now that though he's not close enough to make it a suggestive awkwardness, I can still feel the slight tickle of his breath against my skin. "Try… replacing him with someone, someone who'll make you forget." I shiver, and he backs away, allowing me to open the door.
"I'll see you at school!" I wave and smile cheerfully, forcing myself not to think of what he may be implying.
((Satoshi's POV – The night before))
I look over to the clock beside my bed, it's 2 in the morning, and sleep still won't come. 'There must be something I'm supposed to do…' I think, chuckling at the memory at what my father would always tell me. I get up slowly, so that I don't make myself dizzy, and grab my coat from the closet. It's long and covers my pyjamas as I walk into the cool night air. I don't know how long I roam for, but I end up by the fountain. I stand there and stare at the water for a moment, till something red catches my attention. I walk over to it; a human, red hair, tears on his pale face.
"Daisuke, why are you out here?" I kneel down and brush back his crimson hair, soon realizing that he was in fact, asleep. A trail of water shone on is face and I wipe it off; Daisuke doesn't even stir at my touch. Picking up the red-head easily, I begin to walk back home.
Shifting Daisuke's weight, I free my right arm from underneath him. I open the door and walk in, not bothering to take off my coat as I walk into the bedroom. Gently, I set Daisuke on the bed and pull the covers over him, still making sure not to wake him.
"Sleeping angel… Crimson angel." I find myself whispering without meaning to. I quickly draw my hand back, away from Daisuke. He rolls onto his side and for a few seconds I hold my breath, thinking that I have wakened the red-haired youth. Once I realize that he was in fact, still asleep I walk back towards the bedroom door. Gently closing the said door, I walk out, leaving Daisuke to sleep in peace.
I hang the brown trench coat I was wearing in the closet near the door, finally beginning to feel sleepy. Looking at the clock, I realize that it is already almost three. I lie down on the couch, and finally fall asleep. Finding Daisuke, this must have been what I had to do before I slept.
((That Day))
After I close the door behind the redhead I lean against it, unwilling to stand properly as I scold myself. 'Someone who makes you forget; how stupid am I? I almost told him what I really meant, and thus so close to making him hate me…' I continue to scold myself for my lack of control as I slide down against the door to land softly on my backside. 'You could never replace Dark in his heart.' This is different then my other thoughts, I recognize it as my own inner voice, but yet it sounds so alien. I shudder at the comment; how it reminds me of Krad. 'You are not worthy enough, he probably thinks you're creepy now, he hates you, Satoshi.' I clutch my head in my hands, short nails digging into my scalp as I bring my knees to my chin. I want to block the voice, rip it away from me.
"You're gone, stop torturing me! KRAD!" I scream in the empty house. "Go away, just leave me alone…" I whisper, my voice now hoarse and my vision blurred my salty water. I know how Daisuke feels, his angel is still with him, slowly driving him mad. Though he is different; I am tortured by the remnants of evil, his is tortured by the memory of a lost friend. 'A friend, you'll never add up to the friend Dark was to Niwa!' I hear the whispered yell in my head. 'You don't need Krad to see this, all you need is yourself.' As steadily as I could, I get up from my spot on the floor. I can still hear the whispers of my inner voice; I dig my nails into my arm, using the pain to try to ignore it, block it out. "Leave… you are my memory of the damned white wing; you are not me, but a tainted marked left by that homicidal freak!" I whisper in a venomous hiss. "I wont let you torture me!" I my head I hear: 'but you will, for I am still here, you will not leave, I am you." The voice faded off as I felt a liquid warmth against my fingertips. I look down to see that I had punctured the skin with my nails, letting watery, iron deficient blood seep through.
I cringe slightly as the lukewarm water washed over the fresh cuts, making them sting. I watch the water as it spirals down the drain in a small, red–tinted whirlpool. That water, once clear and pure, is now tainted by the blood of my insanity. I mentally curse Krad to the seven hells and I continue to watch the impure mixture run down the drain. The water going down the drain is once again clear, so I turn off the tap and search for a bandage. I find them and place one over the worst of the cuts, the one that once again is bleeding thanks to the movement of my arm. I step out of the bathroom, noticing for some reason just how silent it is. I wonder if Daisuke is hearing the same thing, the eerie silence, mocking you for being alone. I shake my head to force the thoughts out of my mind, I shouldn't be thinking of him.
I sit on the couch for no more then a second when I here the phone ring. Sighing, I get up; could I not sit down and relax for a little without something bothering me? The caller ID, in all it's glowing yellow-green glory, tells me the caller is my adoptive father: just the person I wanted to talk to. Not.
"Hello." I answer in a bland tone. I barely say anything as he talks about the disappearance of the Angels, and how because of this, I am off the police force: they don't need me. Only half listening now, I hear something about how he wants to find some way to bring Krad back. My god, is that man ever doing anything other then scheming messed up evil plots? I find myself wondering this as he rambles on. Eventually I hang up on him in mid sentence, muttering some excuse about having a headache. I lie back down onto the couch and stare up at the white ceiling, visions of red cross my mind. His crimson hair, his rosy blush, he is a red Angel… Crimson angel. But, it's not like I'll be able to truly ever see my entire angel, at least not in this life. I shake my head, no, he isn't mine; He's a crimson angel, not mine…
I close my eyes, only to hear that dreaded voice once again. 'You could still see every single wonderful part of him.' I scowl at the psychotic voice in my head. 'You can see him, pure crimson; crimson with his sweet blood.' My eyes suddenly open and go wide; I can't think something like that! 'take him as yours, who cares if he wants it or not, take him and watch the blood seep down his wonderful body.' No. I can't do that, I can't rape Daisuke! I don't want to hurt him! 'Make him cry out, make his pain your pleasure. Has he not tortured you by getting so close being so addictive, but giving you nothing? Now it's your turn, make him pay for your struggles!'
"No…" I whisper as I sit up, staring at the floor and clutching at the fabric of the couch. "I don't want to hurt him, I can't hurt him." 'oh, but you do want to hurt him, you want to see his body stained with his own beautiful blood. You want it… because I want it… and I am you.' This other side of me whispers within my head. 'You can't get rid of me, for I am you.' The voice fades away, but I stay staring at the floor, and my hands don't loosen from their white-knuckled hold on the couch.
I need to see him, I need to prove somehow that I want to be with Daisuke, I don't want to take advantage of him.
((Daisuke's POV))
A safe distance away from the youth's house, I begin to think. I think about the words he spoke to me, I try to figure out their meaning. Slowly, the thoughts of Dark creep back, and suddenly I realize something: Before Satoshi mentioned him, memories of the black wings didn't invade my mind… through the whole time I was around him. 'No, what am I thinking, a simple coincidence…'
Finally I am back home, I open the door to be greeted by nothing but silence. "I'm home…" I say softly, my voice echoing off the walls, cutting through still air. I laugh a little, suddenly I know, even alone, it'll be okay. The rest of the day is uneventful. I doodle a picture mindlessly, only to find it's one of Dark with Wiz as his vast black wings. Muttering, I chuck the picture into the trash, giving up and go to change for bed: only to realize I'm still in my pyjamas. "Well… that's convenient." I lie down on my bed, not bothering to close my eyes yet. As I look around, I notice a knife on the side-table. "Why…" I think back, remembering that I had been using it to cut of the tops of strawberries for Wiz. 'Oh, right… ha, it was a miracle I didn't cut myself… for a pocket knife, it's pretty sharp.' Chuckling slightly, I finally close my eyes and let sleep wash over me.
The next morning I turn on the TV as I sip at a glass of chocolate milk. Lazily I flop down onto the couch; I'm greeted with the image of Dark. I week later, and still the news is about him: where has he gone? I close my eyes as I turn the TV off, I stare only at the ceiling, bored beyond belief, and using all will not to get depressed. I turn onto my stomach, burying my face into a pillow. 'If you're going to come back, just do it! Stop this…"
A couple minutes later I hear the phone ring. As I get up to pick it up, I fall back on the couch, a little lightheaded from the lack of breathing properly with my face squished against the pillow. Finally answering the phone, I speak into the receiver with an 'oh so enthusiastic' hello.
"Yo" I can tell by the voice that it is Takeshi on the other end. "I haven't talked to you in a while, what's up? Oh, did you hear about Dark? That really sucks doesn't it, now us reporters have less to well… report." He rambles for a bit about the loss I was trying to accept. I internally battle with the side that is telling me to yell at him, my calm side is beginning to lose.
"Takeshi, um, I have to go. Kay? Bye." I can't listen to him ramble about how much it sucks for him that Dark is gone. I tried to keep the attitude I had last night, that everything would be okay; but as quickly as it came, it was gone.
"Aw, call me if you want to talk later, bye Daisuke."
I let out a sigh of relief as I put the phone back in its holder. With a sigh I trek up the stairs towards my room; it's noon, so I suppose it's inappropriate for me to still be in my PJs. Before I can get to my room though, the door bell catches my attention.
"Coming!" I yell as I half run half jump down the stairs. I open the door to see Satoshi standing there. "H-hello." I say, and step aside to let him in.
"I didn't come at a bad time, did I?" I shake my head, mussing up my bed-hair even further.
"I just need to get dressed; I'll be back down in a minute!" I run up the stairs and into my room, closing the door most of the way. I quickly search for clothing, I wasn't expecting to have a guest, I have to be quick! I strip into just my boxers and grab a clean shirt. I hear the click of my door closing, which is strange because there is no wind. I turn around to see Satoshi standing there.
"Ah! Hey, why are you here? I mean…" I try to cover myself with my shirt. "I'm still trying to g—" He steps towards me, tearing the shirt away from my grip. There's something different about him, I know it.
"Don't bother." He whispers into my ear, making me shiver. I shake my head, I want to tell him to go, but for the moment, I'm speechless. "I'm sick of you torturing me; I'm sick of my own self restraint." What the hell is he talking about… Surely, he's not… Dark was just teasing me… Satoshi isn't actually… My thoughts are cut off as I gasp as he kisses me. Fuck. Dark was right. I let instinct take over, and I bite down on the invading object in my mouth. He yells at me angrily, I'm trying to block out the words, but I'm starting to think that was a bad idea. I close my eyes for a moment, willing myself not to cry, until I feel a heavy shove against my chest, making me fall onto the bed with a thud. Now the tears cannot be blocked, but instead flow freely.
"Satoshi… stop this…" I whimper, but I know before the words leave my mouth they will have no effect. I feel his tongue against my skin, his teeth biting roughly, and a blade against my flesh… the knife that was sitting on my side-table. I continue to cry, trying to ignore the pain, trying to ignore the fact that the one that was both my friend and my enemy, was going to do unmentionable thing to me… The world goes black, but I can still feel tears falling down my face, but the pain is gone, it's gone for now…
((Satoshi's POV))
"Finally, you will be mine, my crimson angel…" I drag the knife down along his stomach, creating a trail to the boy's untouched treasure. I lick away the liquid, the sound he makes only makes my pants feel quite a bit tighter. Suddenly his breathing calms, but he's still crying, and I look up to see absolute terror on his face… 'He's passed out…' Seeing Daisuke like this brings some realization as to what I have done. I lick the blood off the knife, not wanting to waste the precious liquid, though I feel a tinge of guilt as I do so. I go to the washroom and wash both the knife and my hands in the sink. There's a bit of blood on my shirt, but I don't worry about it, as I can cover it with my jacket. I set the knife down by the sink, and when I hear Daisuke moaning in pain in his sleep, I know I have to go. I can't stay here anymore, not after what I just did.
'You were so close, you could have had him!' That torturous voice screams at me as I walk outside.
"No…" I say aloud, not worrying about anyone else that may be around. "You can't be me, you don't know me… You don't know that I can't hurt him… because I love him."
((Gah, was the ending to that chapter really corny? I hope not... Okay, so, I hope the grammer/paragraphing and such was okay in this, I didn't have time to edit it because I want to post it on the 2 year anniversary of the original... and I only just finished it xD So, yeah, please, tell me what you think. Readers of the original: is it any better? Reveiws Love!! Give me luuuuuuvvvv O.o... sorry... I'm a tad hyper... but seriously, reveiws would be absolutely lovely.))
Also, I'd like to give special thanks to "piratepenguin666"who pushed me to rewriting this by calling me "more evil than Krad trying to kill" So, I decided I didn't want to be more evil then Krad... I'll tryyyyy nottt tooooo!! D