A/N: I'm not sure where I got the idea. I originally intended it to be from Mark's POV, but there aren't enough Joanne fics, so it kinda morphed into this. I suppose I can blame late night junkfood while watching RENT (and trying to convince a friend of mine to watch it) for the idea.
As always, thanks to my amazing beta of DOOM!
Disclaimer: IIIII dddddooooonnnnn'ttttt ooooowwwwwnnnnn iiiiittttt!!
I soooo just shouted that out loud. Yay.
Look at them. Just look at how they celebrate and dance and eat like there's nothing wrong at all. They're all just one big bohemian family. They say I'm a part of the family, but sometimes I feel like an outcast. They all belong so well together, and… I just… feel… alone. Everyone thinks that Mark is the witness; they think that he's the one who gets left out, but he belongs here. I mean, he really belongs. I don't. I feel like an intruder.
Maureen was the first bohemian I'd ever met. She was sexy and seductive and dark and mysterious and I knew that I'd be in trouble as soon as I met her, but I didn't care. She was like a drug and I had an addiction. Once we started dating, she kept trying to get me to meet her friends, but for some strange reason, I kept putting it off. I somehow felt a little jealous that she belonged somewhere else. In the back of my mind, I knew I couldn't procrastinate forever, but that didn't stop me from trying. I suppose that's why I wasn't prepared when I first met them.
Mark was the second bohemian. Maureen had told me that he was her ex and I immediately felt a mixture of jealousy and rage. Not only did I have to share Maureen with her bohemian family, but I also had to share her with her ex? It didn't seem fair.
When I first met him, I was thrown off. I had expected some sort of big, tough bad-ass, because somehow it made me feel better to think that Maureen had dated an asshole. What I saw was a scrawny, nerdy Jewish boy.
Our first meeting was extremely awkward. I was furious with Maureen for calling him and then deciding not to show up, and I took some of that anger out on him, which I immediately felt guilty for. Not only was he trying to help, but he was at least attempting to be polite about it. I couldn't help but feel a tad bit sorry for him, especially after I dropped him on his head. He seemed to understand what I was going through, so the awkwardness faded after a bit and we became friends.
Roger was the third bohemian. Mark had brought him along to one of Maureen's sound checks. He didn't say much when he got there, but there was something about him that made me feel at ease. He was very laid back and strangely comforting. He was a great listener and had an amazing sense of humor. We immediately got along.
I met Mimi, Collins, and Angel at the same time. They each gave off different vibes at first, and it was slightly confusing. I quickly grew close to Angel: She was comforting and protective from the beginning. She had a playful side, and yet she could be serious when she needed to be. She was very protective of her friends, and always seemed to be watching over them. I couldn't help but think about how her name suited her.
Collins was very friendly. He had calming warmth that radiated from him, and I immediately understood why he and Angel fit so well together. He automatically assumed the role of big brother. I knew that he would never allow himself to let anyone down, and I couldn't help but admire his loyalty to his friends.
Mimi was the youngest and the most positive. She was active and couldn't seem to sit still. She was too impatient to wait and preferred to move ahead and get whatever she needed. Even though she didn't have long to live, she was always so optimistic and happy. She had a playfulness that I had never seen, and yet, she had so much wisdom for someone so young. She lived every day as if it was her last, and she never seemed to regret anything. I had always wished that I could be like her.
The Bohemians have accepted me with open arms and have given me love and hope, and all the while not expecting anything in return, yet, I still feel as if I don't belong. They've somehow distanced me from them, no matter how unknowingly. As they sit here and drink and laugh, I can't help but think that I'll never truly belong.