Hey guys – I'm looking for a beta – if anyone's interested I love you. I'm deleting Hogwarts meets Hartford for the moment. I might bring up another form of it in the next few weeks.

What if Rory was a little more like Lorelia? And not in the pregnant way. What if after Jess left she had enough guts to do something about it. What if she ended up with a return address? What if she did not say anything other than 'Jess?' when he called on graduation?

Rory sat shocked at the letter. Only two sentences. A completely stark white piece of paper and then two sentences in the lead scrawl she was so used to seeing in her books.

After all this time this was all she got? After crying into the piece of perfectly folded and now damp paper she pulled on a pair of jeans under her graduation gown as she then threw that to the floor and got the closest shirt on. How dare he. It was not….it was not right. And she had to deal with that. That was one thing she had learnt from her mother in the last eighteen years – what to do when boys treat you wrong – why of course – you jump in a car. She was halfway down the street when she turned around stormed into the house and reread those two sentences. It had taken her a minute or two too understand those sentences first time round but once she had she was furious. Grabbing them and slipping a pair of converse on her bare feet she also grabbed another piece of paper scribbling 'ill be back mum – sorry I have to do this.' Onto the hello kitty note pad she left it on the kitchen table in place of the letter that she crammed into her jean pocket. After that she got back into the car and started driving again.

Hours later, as she sat in her graduation present it dawned on her. She may be driving like her mother but she, it seemed was stupid enough to run to her problems rather than away from them. She pulled up suddenly on the side of the highway and hit her head in the steering wheel. Was she ready for this? Was it a good thing? What would happen? She sighed and indicated to get back onto the road ignoring the questions as she realized they simply went in circles and so trying to rationalize would get her nowhere. This was the first situation she couldn't make lists for. This was the first situation she wouldn't make lists for was probably closer to home but right now she didn't care. The only reason she was stopping between now and her destination was to go to the toilet and get coffee. Parking her car hours later she looked around and realized that she had no idea where the address she had was exactly. She dug through her bag looking for it. A week or to ago she was going to send Jess a letter – shed gotten the address off of Luke with the excuse that she had a few of his books that he probably wouldn't want to live without. Seen as that was around the time everyone assumed she was over him he didn't see a problem with it. Shed scrawled it down on a napkin and thrown it into her bag. Pulling it out only once between the present time and when shed gotten it. She was lying on her bed in an empty house staring at it. Sure she had some of his books but she wasn't about to offer them up. Shed grown fond of his inked thoughts. It meant she could still remember him exactly. Nothing could change. They were in pen – that couldn't be altered by emotion or time. As she lay there with the napkin she had a lecture pad resting on her bent knees. And all she could think of was Washington. That was probably because of the major dejavu of being so determined to write to him and only coming up with 'dear Jess.' Gradually the lecture pad grew thinner and thinner as she pulled pages out and scrunched them up and randomly throwing them around her room. She must have done it for hours because the only thing that made her stop and put the napkin back in her bag was her mothers voice announcing she was no longer alone. Rory sighed as she was brought back to the present by her stomach grumbling. She quickly moved to a burger place nearby and after eating she asked a kind looking woman nearby for directions. Fifteen minutes and another two sets of directions later she finally found herself on the right street. She looked up at the house unsure. There were a lot of things that had stopped her from being here right now. Her lack of direction was the latest, however there were other factors – more important ones. Like the fact that she was not wanted here. The fact that she had no idea where she stood with Jess. Her mothers possible heart attack when she found out why her daughter was not currently at the Gilmore's for a Friday diner. The look on a married Dean's face when he found out that Rory went back to someone he had tried so hard to keep her away from – especially if she got hurt. The look on the whole towns face as a mater of fact when they found out she'd run back to - her list was cut short by a door opening and several thousand dogs barking. She froze. And then all the anger that had prompted her to drive this far seemed to form a bubble around her.

Jess was shoving a book into a back pocket when he stopped dead in his tracks hand still half in his pocket.

'Rory?'

She felt her control waver and as the sentence "what are you doing here" came out of his mouth breaking any control left, or hope of it seemed; as both broke into at least a thousand pieces.

'what am I doing here?' she asked critically

'well...I didn't expect to see you…and well-'

'oh – you didn't expect to see me? Huh – that's interesting – cause three weeks ago I expected to see you – its odd how all that expecting thing works out huh Jess? I expected my boyfriend to be at my graduation – I expected my boyfriend to take me to prom – not for my whatever-he-currently-is-and-previous-boy-friend to prank me at the end of my graduation. And…the week the pill would have become effective – the week that I may have been ready to sleep with you – that's the week that I get a letter from you with a whole two fucking sentences.

I mean what the hell Jess? All I meant to you - all I was worth to you, all you thought I deserved was 'I tried. I really did but go away from my window – its for you not me.' – seriously a fucking Dylan quote and it's for you – that's all I get?'

'what did you want Rory? Huh – I was right – I can't be what you need Ror –'

'so what lets you decide that your not what I want huh? So what if Dylan agrees with all of Stars Hollow about you being what I need? Huh? So what if Dylan talks about someone opening all my doors for me and whatever the hell – I might acknowledge it as a kind gesture but I don't see it as you – and I wanted you Jess – you had no right to take that away from me – especially not for my own sake – if you couldn't take it that's one thing – but pushing it onto me – making it sound like I expected you to be something different – don't you dare!' at this stage the tears had begun to flow again blurring her vision as her voice almost reached its peak. Jess sighed and opened the gate and letting her in.

'Rory – I …' he sighed and pulled her in a little more 'come on ill get you a drink and some tissues' after taking her into the house and randomly opening cupboard doors in the kitchen she was now sitting in 'Rory I failed you.'

She sniffled 'yeah Jess. You did. but not for the same reasons your thinking. You failed me because…you didn't talk to me about this. You didn't listen to my side before leaving me alone. You didn't give me the chance to tell me just how much I loved you before you decided that what others thought was more important than what I felt. And you didn't tell me the truth – so come on Jess- what's the real reason you left me that day on the bus? What's the real reason I again didn't get a good bye. And why the hell are you quoting Dylan? Why do I get his opinion in general rather than your opinion on us?'

He didn't say anything, her tears grew forming spots of water on her top.

"whatever Jess." She stood up. Brushed her hair back slightly then commented "mum and I are leaving in two weeks. I thought my loving you meant it didn't matter what the town thought of you." She was cut off as he finally spoke.

"Rory I failed…I wouldn't have been able to take you to prom even if I were there. That's why I'm not worth it. I did let you down."

"I guess you did – cause as far as I was concerned I wasn't as shallow as to change my emotions towards someone on whether they bothered to attend school. So I guess you did let me down – not because I didn't spend a night listening to the backstreet boys – but because you thought I would think so little of you for failing. I know your smart Jess – its not like I don't know that. I just guess you weren't as smart as I thought."

Jess had paused in the emotion and Rory stood back up sniffing "like I said Jess mum and I leave in two weeks. And after we get back I go to Yale on the 22nd. I don't know what your plan is but figure it out – preferably before I'm gone altogether."

Jess followed her and tried to usher her back inside but she pulled away "no. i….i cant stay here Jess. Like I said – figure out what it is you want and well work from there but I cant…I cant be HERE at the moment."

What do you think? Terrible? Expected? Thanks for reading please reply.