The trees outside the window shine with drops of dew, their branches long and stretching, brushing back and forth against the pane because of the heavy wind blowing. I sit quietly at the table, my arms folded against it and my eyes on those green needles scratching against the glass.
"Jo?" A mutter comes from behind. I don't turn my gaze to him yet, staying in the position I'm in.
"Finally up?" I reply, my breath hitting the window and causing it to fog up some.
"It's three o'clock in the morning!" He protests, the sleeve of his shirt brushing against my shoulder as he plods past me, dropping into the seat across from me.
"I'm an early riser," I keep my voice carefully monotone, still not looking at him.
"Is something wrong?" He asks, his voice having suddenly become very serious.
"Ten years ago today," I say slowly, leaning back in my chair and turning my head from the window, peering across at him. "It's been ten years."
"Oh..," he frowns, understanding. "Are you going to visit them today?"
"No...No. But I am going to do something. Do you want to come with me?" I ask, standing up and walking past him towards the coat rack.
"Of course," he stands up and moves to the door, sliding his feet into the shoes waiting there and grabbing his own coat just as I'm sliding mine on. He's in his pajamas but that doesn't seem to faze him at all.
We move out into the rain together, our hoods both up and our hands clasped together between us. Ever since the rebellion, he's been coming by a lot. Eventually, we became more than friends and confidantes. We fell in love, despite the odds. There are mornings when I wake up screaming, but he's always there to hold me. He's the one that taught me to not be afraid of the rain anymore. He's the one that taught me to care again. He's the one that taught me how to live.
"Thank you," I say, not even sure if he'll hear me over the patter of the rain. He squeezes my hand, so I guess he did. But he doesn't say anything.
I come to a stop within the empty square of the town. Everyone is inside, hiding from the rain and hiding from the memories. I let go of his hand and unzip my jacket, sliding it off and dropping it onto the muddy ground. He watches me, obviously confused.
"Just feel it, Gale. Just feel that rain!" I exclaim, tears forming in my eyes and mixing in with the rain water. I throw my arms out on either side of me and begin spinning in a slow circle, tilting my head back. The rain soaks my hair and gets down into my skin and into my bones, filling me. I'm soaring high, racing the wind, alive with youth and moisture and now and the future.
"You're insane, Jo!" He says with a laugh, though a moment later he's stripped off his own jacket and begun to do the same as me. I don't reply to his statement because we both know it's true.
We stay there for a long time, twirling in the rain, tasting the rain, soaking in the rain. The drizzling starts to slow after a while, though, fading to a light sprinkle. That's when we decide to head back to the house. He wraps his arm around my shoulders and I lean into him, letting him lead me as I nestle my face into his shoulder, breathing in the scent of him and of the rain.
When we're seated at the table again with two cups of steaming hot chocolate, he speaks up.
"What, exactly, was the point of that?" He doesn't say it in a mean way, just a confused way.
"I was showing them, Gale. I was showing them that I'm still alive."
And maybe I am just insane, but right then I can imagine my family - my sister, my parents - looking down on me with smiles on their faces. "That's our girl," they'd say. "That's our girl, Johanna. And she's surviving."