A.N. First attempt at any FanFiction and I'm really nervous but very excited. Simple one-shot about Damon and Elena's kiss (in season 3 episode 10, "The New Deal") and what happens after. It's told from Elena's perspective. I do not own Vampire Diaries, if I did, Delena would've happened way sooner.
"No, you know what... if I'm gonna feel guilty about something, I'm gonna feel guilty about this."
He took three steps towards me and I knew. I knew in that moment that he would kiss me. I didn't stop him. I wanted it. I may not have been waiting for as long as he has, but I have been waiting.
When our lips met, I knew that it was perfect. His lips were warm and soft. His gentle hands reached up and cradled my face. It was something I had never felt with Stefan. With Stefan, I always felt the need to prove that I wasn't Katherine. But with Damon, he had been so lost in Katherine Pierce that I was always Elena. He was always very clear that I could never be Katherine. I had never been more thankful for that than in the moment when our lips met.
The kiss didn't go for long enough. When my eyes opened and met his gorgeous blue ones, I felt a natural shiver shoot down my spine.
"Goodnight."
I tried to find some words to make him stay, but I knew he couldn't. I knew that there was too much dust in the air for he and I to really be together… right now. So I let him walk away.
I walked back in the house with my hand to my lips. I wanted to believe that it had really happened. That the man that had blown open my life and stolen my heart had finally taken claim of what rightfully was his. Jeremy looked at me with a very curious look but then went back to packing. I knew he had to go tomorrow and, even though I wanted to have some time with him, my mind was racing too fast for me to settle down and discuss his plans for Utah. I went right into my room and cracked open my journal.
"Dear Diary-"
That was all that I could write. I had no words for the moment that had transpired on my porch. I stared at my journal wondering what words would justify the moment… that perfect moment when our lips had touched. It wasn't the same as when he was dying, but somehow the tender moment had felt familiar. It was an odd twinge of Déjà vu.
I tried to sleep, but the tugging of my heart and the racing of my mind made it impossible. I couldn't write and I had no book that gained my interest, so I flipped back to the beginning of my journal: the first day of school. Wow, times have changed so rapidly. It's hard to believe that not too long ago I was just a girl surviving the loss of her parents. Now I am a girl with an emotionless vampire boyfriend whose vampire brother loves me. I cannot face things with Damon and not have some sort of finality with Stefan.
Stefan has no emotions, but I would be the one who felt guilty if I dared commit to Damon. Not only that, but Damon deserves so much more. He deserves someone who chooses him. He deserves someone who wants only him. I want closure. How do I get closure with a vampire hell-bent on destroying an Original? How am I to get closure when there were no emotions tying him to me or even Mystic Falls? How do I explain to Damon that I chose him, and only him, but I need time to settle things with Stefan?
As the sun's early light creeps into my window, I realize that sleep won't come. The frustrations of the night are still solidly planted on my mind and in my heart. The only solution for that is to go pound them out at Alaric's.
A.N. Sorry if it seemed a bit AU or OOC for Elena to be so reflective and in love with Damon, but I think that she is coming to realize how much she truly loves Damon. And it's my Delena FanFic. Thanks for Reading!