"Thank you…"
A beautiful white light filled his vision, beckoning him to come forth and to leave all the pain behind. Leave behind the cruelty and unjust of the world. It was tempting, so appealing to follow the pull in his soul towards the tranquil light above him.
"Arthur!"
Arthur opened his eyes and gasped in air that stung his lungs, an intense fire burning his still heart. He saw only the blinding light, but he felt warm arms around him, holding him tight like they never wanted to let go, and a familiar presence full of an unconditional love. Merlin. Merlin was there holding him. He couldn't leave Merlin behind, not after they'd just begun to truly know each other. There was still so much for them to accomplish and it felt wrong to leave when the journey was only beginning.
But it seemed fate thought otherwise and pulled Arthur away from the warmth of his servant, his friend, and into the light. Arthur felt nothing as he was slowly lowered onto a cloud, no pain from the fatal wound nor the weight of his own body. Yet when he looked upon where his body would be, he did see himself. But instead of his heavy armor and the ruined trousers he wore moments before, he now bore clothing similar to that of what he would wear on a calm day in Camelot. Simple brown trousers unbelievably similar to his favorite ones he wore years ago as a Prince covered his legs and a baggy red tunic with a belt around the middle hid his torso.
Arthur stood up and looked around the new location, a faint and distant feel of anxiety tingling in his abdomen when he saw where he stood. White surrounded him, a continuous white spread above him and all around him with no indication that it bent or curved; it was just there. Beneath his feet was a cloud like substance, soft curls of the ground curling up an inch or so, almost like grass. But on his bare feet he felt nothing and when he stepped forward the ground didn't compress beneath his foot. He crouched down and put his hand into the white fluff, pulling away quickly when his hand didn't feel nor stir what appeared to have been a silken substance.
He stood back up and turned around, gasping when he saw a monumental gate, white of course, connected to a wall triple the height of Arthur stretching on for eternity. The gate was gorgeous with intricate patterns carved into the bars and ancient gold writing painted around it, the pearl white gate glistening with an earthly light as if it possessed its own sun to shine on it amongst all the white. Arthur stepped towards the opened gate then jumped back when it abruptly closed when he got within several meters of it. He walked closer and wrapped his hands around the bars, expecting to feel a cool metal but his body was still numb, and then peered on the other side of the gate. But all Arthur saw was the same white spanning on forever, the only difference being the other side shined much brighter, almost too bright to look upon. About to turn away in favor of searching the side of the fence he was on further, he paused after spotting a figure walking towards him on the other side of the fence.
"Hello!" Arthur called out to the figure that kept on its path to him, the figure that of a broad shouldered man with hair longer than that of the King. Finally, a hint of the man's features could be seen clearly as he got closer, and Arthur raised his eyebrows. "Gwaine? What are you doing here? Where are we?"
Gwaine smiled, not his usual bright and easy going smile but instead a forced and almost sad one. "I guess Morgana got to you," he muttered then halted a foot away from the gate, his brown eyes staring at one of the poles and his mouth open like he was going to speak but no words came.
"Morgana scared away the horses, but Merlin killed her," Arthur said frowning then leaned closer and studied Gwaine. "What is it? What's wrong?" He paused and took a deep breath, no air entering his lungs but the action felt familiar. "Gwaine… Where are we?"
Gwaine's eyes met Arthur's and his lips pressed together. "We're dead, Arthur. And we are wherever people go when they die."
A heavy weight landed itself in Arthur's heart and he took a step back as reality hit him. He was dead. His Kingdom, his wife, his knights, his friends, his Merlin; he left them behind. Never again would he give a speech to his people or train the new knights to become the finest warriors in all of Albion. No more waking up late to Merlin's annoying greetings or throwing things at the idiot when he got too obnoxious. All of that was gone. In the past to never be lived again.
"And why can't I go through the gate?" Arthur asked, ignoring the way his voice shook, and he clutched back onto the bars again trying to shake them to see if they would move but they didn't even quiver despite his desperate effort.
"I don't know, Arthur," Gwaine said and looked at the gate, running a hand along the side of it. "It opened for me when I got here. You should see it over here." He smiled as he looked back at Arthur. "All the tankards of ale and mead a man could wish for along with a dozen maidens dangling on my arms. Well, that's my place at least. Elyan and Lancelot's heavens are a bit different, more boring if you ask me." He laughed lightly then glanced back into the brighter light. "It's amazing here. No pain or illness or death. You'd love it, Princess."
Arthur stared into the light of the other side longingly, wanting to go through the gate to speak with his old knights. Assuming that Lancelot, Elyan, and Gwaine were over there and they died, Arthur guessed his father and mother would be over there as well. Perhaps even Morgana, unless her deeds later in life were too sinister and she now burns in Hell. Arthur hoped not. Despite everything his sister did and all the people she hurt, he still cared for her. It saddened him to remember the girl she used to be before she befriended Morguese and turned against her family, so full of hate she lost her sanity in the end.
"Right. Well, you better get going back then." Arthur forced a smile and took a step away from Gwaine. "I'll figure out a way to get in then you can show me around."
Gwaine smiled and started walking backwards. "Everywhere but the bedroom, Sire. I'm afraid that's private territory. I'll see you soon, Arthur. Good luck. And… I'm sorry." He nodded at Arthur and smiled sadly before being consumed by the light, so blinding Arthur closed his eyes, and when it dimmed he stood alone in the world of white.
It was then he realized he never asked Gwaine how he died and guilt settled in his stomach, the numbing effect of the place wearing off on his emotions. With nothing else to do, Arthur went back to studying the gate to try to find a way inside, inspecting every inch of that pearly white metal. After some amount of time, he couldn't be sure how long, he punched the gate, though felt no pain from his knuckles colliding with the metal, and let out a frustrated yell.
"The door will not open for you, Sire. I wish there was an explanation for this, but I fear the laws of science do not apply here in this realm."
Arthur turned around hearing the very recognizable voice, the voice he'd known all his life that healed his cuts as a child then advised him as King, and gaped as the physician approached him. "Gauis. What are you doing here? I mean, I know why you're here, and for that I'm terribly sorry, but what happened?"
"A long life has to end at some time," Gauis answered then placed a hand on Arthur's shoulder and smiled at him. "It's good to see you, Sire. Camelot has not been the same without you."
Arthur frowned and furrowed his eyebrows together. "What do you mean? I only just died…" He paused and tried to calculate how much time has passed since he died, but found it impossible as it could have been an hour or a day. "How long ago did I die?"
"Ten years ago, Sire," Gauis said and removed his hand from Arthur's shoulder to better allow the information to sink in. "Even as we speak now, time is passing differently for us than for our loved ones on Earth."
Arthur blinked and took a deep breath, not understanding how ten years could have passed and all he'd done was speak to Gwaine and examine a gate whilst never experiencing tiredness or hunger. "Why then have no more lost souls walked through the gates?"
"I'm certain there is more than one entrance, Arthur, unless every soul is to wait a century for their turn to get inside," the physician smiled and turned his head towards the gate which opened immediately when his eyes landed on it. "I must leave you now, Sire. I hope we see each other again soon." Gaius patted Arthur's shoulder then turned and walked towards the gate.
Arthur watched him go with a frown, the emptiness of being left alone filling him as his old friend stepped through the gate. A thought occurred to him and he ran over to the closing gate. "Wait! Gauis! What of Merlin? What happened to him?" He asked shouting and ran faster to make it through the gate, only to suddenly be transported a dozen meters away from it. The gate shut and locked Gauis inside who remained oblivious to his question. "Dammit!" He shouted and threw his fists down, really wishing for something to throw.
With a defeated sigh, he trudged over to the wall and sat down leaning back against it, unsure of what to do. Trying to get through the gate would be pointless and there wasn't much to do for entertainment here in the white landscape. Arthur thought back to the year it snowed heavily for days in Camelot and the bitter cold kept everyone locked inside with layers upon layers on trying to conserve the heat. He and Merlin had taken refuge in his room for the night, Gwen out in the town delivering food with a handful of knights, and Merlin tended to the fire while Arthur ate dinner. They bantered as usual, tossing back and forth their favorite insults for an hour or two before Arthur dismissed Merlin and went to bed. It was a simple memory, nothing very special about it, but it was one of Arthur's favorites just for the simplicity of it that made him smile even now.
Time passed, Arthur didn't know how much which drove him mad, but eventually three figures approached the gate and Arthur's heart dropped seeing an aged, but still recognizable, Gwen, Leon, and Percival. He jumped to his feet and immediately embraced his wife in a hug. "Guinevere… I'm sorry I never got to say goodbye. I'm sorry." He pulled back and looked at her, the wrinkles in her face and the grey streaks filling her hair odd to see. But she was still Gwen, and Arthur still cared for her.
"It's so good to see you, Arthur," she said with a tearful smile and cupped his face in one of her age-spot covered hands then took a step back so Leon and Percival could shake their true King's hand. Arthur didn't miss the royal ring on Leon's finger and he swallowed back his emotions, forcing a smile. He should have expected it. Ruling alone was no easy task and falling in love with another person was completely possible, Arthur certainly knew that when he began to question whether he ever truly loved Guinevere when strong feelings for a certain dark haired idiot started manifesting. But those feelings weren't proper or acceptable so Arthur pushed them aside and did what was best for Camelot by marrying Gwen and keeping his feelings secret.
"What happened to you all?" Arthur asked and frowned looking between his three friends, worrying about the fact that they all showed up together at the same time.
Leon took a deep breath, looking down at the ground before looking back at Arthur with eyes surrounded by wrinkles and a scar beneath his right eye. "We were attacked. An army much larger than our own ambushed the castle. There was no warning, nothing that could have hinted at the attack so that we could have prepared. Our Camelot is fallen, Arthur."
Arthur took a step back in shock then closed his eyes to keep his emotions in control under the weight of the terrible news. His home was gone, taken by some barbaric men probably looking for more land out of greed. He opened his eyes again, but avoided looking at his friends for then he would certainly let his emotions loose. "And what of Merlin? What happened to him after I died?"
He waited for an answer, but when the silence became too long he looked up to find the three looking uncertainly at one another. Gwen noticed his gaze first then nudged Percival who met Arthur's eyes. "I found Merlin by the Lake of Avalon shortly after you passed, and he was really torn up about your death. I tried to persuade him to come back to Camelot with me, but he refused to. He kept on saying how he had to wait for you…" His voice trailed off and he cast his gaze downwards.
"And then I lifted the ban on magic," Gwen added in, holding her hands behind her and standing still like a true Queen would, even when they spoke of something that normally would have her stumbling over her words and shifting nervously between her feet. "I thought maybe he was afraid to come back since majority of us knew of his magic at that point, but still he didn't return. I went to visit him after Gauis died and, it was amazing, he looked like he hadn't aged a day since I last saw him, but although he was happy to see me again he still didn't want to come back for the same reason he told Percival; he had to wait for you."
Leon stepped in for Gwen now that the tears that had been pooling in her eyes were rolling down her cheeks. "But he still protected Camelot. Any threat disappeared within a few days after appearing, crops grew in surpluses while other kingdoms starved, and no natural disaster ever destroyed our walls. It was remarkable." He frowned and wrapped an arm around Gwen's waist subconsciously. "I know not why he failed to protect us this time. Hopefully he is alright."
Arthur nodded and looked at each one of his friends before nodding towards the gate. "You all should probably enter now. It's glorious on the other side, or so I've told. I'll see you all soon, I'm sure of it. Thank you for taking care of Camelot in my absence. I'm forever in all of yours debts."
They all nodded goodbye then walked through to the other side, the gate snapping shut behind them right away as if to taunt how he could not follow them. Arthur watched them until their figures were swallowed by the light and Arthur was alone again.
A shaking sob left his parted lips and Arthur quickly covered his mouth his hand, trying to hold in his sorrow. Of course he knew that he wouldn't see Gwen, Percival, and Leon again with how everything was working at that point, but he needed to give them hope. Otherwise knowing Leon and the loyalty the knight who became King held for him, he would have refused to leave. Who knew what would happen had they refused to pass through the gate. Perhaps the gate would drag them in with the same magical force that kept Arthur out.
Arthur moved over to the left of the gate and leaned against the wall before sliding down until he sat on the cloud, staring blankly ahead at the vast view of white. "What do I do now?" He asked no one. No answer came. It seemed not even the heavens could hear him. So Arthur did nothing because nothing was said to him. That's all he could do.
Time raced by. More people walked through the gate. Time passed. The gate became even more popular and the people entering wore bizarre clothing. Time continued. Some people tried to speak to Arthur but he pretended he couldn't hear and just stared forward, not wanting to speak to the strangers who claimed to know him and who heard of him in the legends. Arthur honestly just didn't care anymore. Everything he cared about was gone. Camelot, his friends, Merlin…
Where was Merlin? With how much time passed surely Merlin would have died by now. And why did Merlin tell Percival and Gwen that he was waiting? Perhaps Merlin was driven mad with grief. Arthur certainly couldn't imagine a life without Merlin. Life before Merlin seemed so mundane and ordinary, constantly trying to live up to everyone's expectations. It wasn't until Merlin entered his life did it become exciting and he started becoming his own man. Merlin helped him become a better person and thus creating a better kingdom. Although the idiot servant had magic, Arthur accepted him and forgave him for lying. Even his reason for lying was selfless. Merlin was fiercely loyal, brave, kind, and caring. Having magic didn't change any of that, Arthur knew that now. He just hoped he got a chance to thank Merlin again.
A face appeared in front of him and startled him out of his thought and the man smirked down at him. "Well, I'll be damned. You're Arthur Pendragon, aren't ya?" The stranger asked with a heavy accent similar to Arthur's but thicker, his green eyes sparkling as he looked down at Arthur. He wore grey trousers and a strange grey jacket that buttoned together with black squares sewed onto to the shoulders, along with a neckerchief but much thinner and it hung lower, disappearing into the jacket. The man had short brown hair, short much like Percival's was. Arthur turned his head away, ready to ignore the man like he did with all the others who claimed to know him, but then the man spoke again. "I knew Merlin. He told me to find you. I gotta admit, I thought you would be a bit harder to track down but finding you right outside the gate is the bee's knees."
Arthur raised his eyebrows at the man's wording, but focused on the most important fact. "You knew Merlin? How? Is he alright?" He asked quickly and started to stand up only to be pushed back down by the man who sat down across from him.
"Easy there, your Majesty. I'll talk to you until the queue to get into Heaven shortens up a bit," the man said and gave a toothy smile. "My name's Nathan. Nathan Durant. Pleasure to meet you." He held out a strong hand. Arthur clasped Nathan's forearm, making the man's smile falter but he clutched Arthur's forearm in return and shook it. "Merlin was a good friend of mine. Met him when we were both in the army fighting 'gainst the Nazi's. When he first told me 'bout you I thought he dropped off his trolley but turns out he-"
"Hold on," Arthur held up a hand to silence Nathan and rubbed at his temples, wondering how he and Merlin communicated since they both seemed capable of having an entire conversation with themselves. "I don't understand what you're saying. Merlin was in the army? Merlin was a knight?"
Nathan gaped for a moment before shaking his head. "Christ, you've been dead way too long, mate. There ain't no knights no more. Merlin and I are soldiers in the British army. We don't fight with swords nowadays. We use guns. Heavy duty sorta weapons. Think of it as a snazzy bow and arrow, yeah?"
"Right… Anyway, is Merlin alright? He must be pretty old now. What is he, eighty or ninety?" Arthur asked then frowned when Nathan laughed at him. "What's so funny?"
"Merlin's a bit older than that. Multiple ninety by fifteen and then you're probably a bit closer to his age," the soldier explained with an amused smile then punched Arthur's arm and stood up. "Right then. I best be going now that the queue's shortened up to only a hundred people. 'Spose this is the last time I'll see you. So long King Arthur," he saluted him then walked away, only to turn around and add, "If you could hurry up and return, that'd be lovely. Merlin needs you. The burden of time is a heavy one, he always said. I can't even imagine livin' more than my twenty seven years, imagine livin' over a thousand..." Then Nathan turned again and sauntered away, keeping his head down as he walked to stand in line to pass through the gate.
Arthur frowned and stared where Nathan just sat, trying to process the weird man's words. There was no way Merlin could have been over a thousand years old, that just wasn't possible. Even with the aid of magic he could only add a few more years to his life. Besides, even if there was a spell to make him live that long, there was no way the clumsy idiot would survive a thousand years without tripping and impaling himself on a sword or something equally as ridiculous. Nathan probably just exaggerated. But what the strange soldier said tugged a heart string with Arthur and that was that Merlin needed him. Whether or not the idiot's waited ten years or hundred, Arthur needed to end his warlock's waiting.
He stood up and, not knowing what else to do, started running away from the wall and the gate and into the white abyss. When he reached the end of the line of souls waiting to enter, he suddenly found himself back in front of the wall. "No…" He breathed out then ran again away from the wall only to be transported back when he reached the same point. Then again and again he ran the same path only to end up in the same spot. All the emotions he stuffed down in his time waiting surged free as he continued to sprint as far as he could, so determined to escape in order to be with Merlin again, to be brought back to the wall. "No!" He yelled and rammed against the walls, hot tears streaming down his face as he tried to escape the white imprisonment for the umpteenth time.
Arthur lost everything; Camelot, his people, his title, and his friends. His friends didn't need him anymore, they all passed through the gate and were living in their own perfect heaven, but Merlin needed him still, and he'd be damned if he didn't do everything in his power to be there for his friend. Yet it seemed nothing could be done to free him from the white prison.
After another unsuccessful attempt to run free, Arthur collapsed onto his knees and cried, not caring about how he looked or how inappropriate it was for a king to be sobbing. All he cared about was Merlin. He allowed the tears and sobs to run free, wetting his cheeks and shaking his body, remembering when he told Merlin that no man was worth his tears and realizing just how wrong he was. Merlin, the loyal bumbling idiot of servant, was worthy of every tear shed and then a hundred more.
"Hush now, King Arthur," a sweet voice cooed above him and Arthur felt a hand stroke through his hair. When he looked up he saw a young woman with long brown hair and warm brown eyes staring down at him, a small smile on her face.
"Who are you?" Arthur asked and wiped away the tears from his cheeks in earnest. An unusual tugging sensation pulled in his heart towards the girl who seemed to radiate warmth and safety.
"My name is Freya," she offered him her hand and smiled down at him, "And it is time for you to rise again."