Ever since Vicki had come aboard the TARDIS, she and Susan had been inseparable. Susan needed a friend her own age, and Vicki needed a family, so this arrangement couldn't have been more welcome. They got along well, often staying up late talking in their shared bedroom, or otherwise plotting. Usually against Ian. It was nothing malicious. A science lesson on another planet had simply evolved gradually into an elaborate prank war between the three of them.
The unspoken rule was that the pranks had to be scientific in nature. Last week, Ian used a bit of chemistry to trick the girls into dyeing themselves purple. Now they were planning their retaliation.
"It's a thing earth magicians used to do all the time," said Vicki
"A rabbit out of a hat?" Susan asked, "That's silly!"
Vicki nodded. "Exactly! It's silly, but it's also just a trick. Sleight of hand and a little misdirection to make the audience believe that the rabbit just appeared out of thin air in the hat."
"But Ian doesn't wear a hat."
"No, but he could wear a rabbit."
"...I think there's an old transporter ray in a cupboard somewhere."
Ian and Barbara were sitting in the dining area eating some breakfast from the food dispenser. Today they'd smashed the cubes out of a desire for something that wasn't cube-shaped. The Doctor walked in.
"Good morning," they greeted him.
"There's no such thing as morning on this ship," he replied, "Time is relative here, and such distinctions are entirely unnecessary."
"It's nice to see you, too," Barbara said.
The Doctor ignored her remark. "I came in to say that I'm about to perform some routine maintenance on the ship's systems and I was wondering if you would be interested in assisting, Chatterton."
"Chesterton," he corrected automatically, "Yes, I would."
"No, you're Chesterton. I'm the Doctor. Do pay attention, dear boy!" The Doctor strode out of the room, muttering. Barbara couldn't hold back her laughter at the exasperated look on Ian's face.
"Well!" he said.
"Oh, go on. I'll clean up."
Ian left to go catch up with the Doctor. As Barbara cleared away the breakfast things, Susan and Vicki ran though the room.
"Where are you two off to in such a rush?" she asked. They stopped at the door and she noticed Susan was holding some sort of mechanical cylindrical device. "And what's that?"
"Nothing..." they said in unison in a tone of voice calculated to be nonchalant. As a professional educator, Barbara knew better.
"This doesn't have anything to do with you two being purple, does it?"
They denied it, a little too explicitly. "Of course not! No, we're just going to...disassemble it. To see how it works." said Susan.
"See if we can put it back together again."
Barbara suspected they were up to something, but couldn't think of what it might be. "Look, whatever you two are planning, don't go overboard. All right?" They nodded and continued on their way.
It was a little while later that the girls were ready to proceed with their prank. Unwittingly assisting them was Sandy II. They'd picked up the little rabbit on another planet as a replacement for the original Sandy, whom Barbara had sort of shot dead. Usually, the Doctor would have been dead set against pets on the ship, but Susan and Vicki had combined their powers of persuasion with great success. They just had to take proper care of it and keep it in their room. So they'd built a little hutch for the rabbit and programmed a few subroutines into the TARDIS that would ensure Sandy would be fed and watered should they be away from the ship for a long time.
Now the transporter was fully charged, and Sandy was about to have the ride of his life.
Ian felt odd.
A few seconds ago, he'd been assisting the Doctor with some wiring. Then...something...had happened and now he was...well, he wasn't quite sure. He was almost certain that he was still on the TARDIS, but everything felt wrong somehow. He tried to look around, but his brain couldn't make sense of what his eyes were telling him. Colours were missing and his depth perception was all wonky, and yet somehow he was seeing even more than should have been normal. Wider field of vision? What?
The rest of his senses weren't much help, either. Every little sound was amplified and there was such an assortment of smells that he sneezed several times. Dizzy and disoriented, he tried to stand up and get his bearings, but his limbs refused to cooperate and he overbalanced and fell down a ramp he hadn't seen.
"Oh, Sandy!"
Vicki?
Ian realised that what he was leaning against was a criss-crossed wire mesh. He heard swift footsteps and looked up to see Vicki standing over him opening a little door in the wire. Before he knew what was happening, he felt himself being picked up.
"Aww, are you all right?" cooed Vicki. Ian just stared at her, completely baffled. What was she doing? And since when was she strong enough to lift him? Oddly enough, it was more difficult for him to make out her face up close like this. He looked around and noticed that he was in the girls' room. Susan was sitting at her desk, messing with a cylindrical piece of equipment.
"I don't know why it didn't work," she was saying, "Perhaps it didn't charge properly?"
Vicki started scratching his head. Ian moved to push her away and froze when he saw a small paw where his hand should have been. He looked down at himself. Two more paws. Rather large paws, and a little fluff of a tail. And a large amount of fur...
He scrambled backwards, panicking, and ended up falling out of Vicki's arms and crashing to the floor.
"What's got into him?"
"I don't know."
He tried once again to stand up, but his legs didn't work that way and he fell over. Finally, he righted himself and clapped his hands...paws to his face. Furry. And he felt what were unmistakably two long ears. What the...he was a rabbit?! Impossible! But as he twisted and turned to look at himself, he realised he was furry all over. He looked up at Susan and Vicki who were staring at him, confused.
Vicki knelt down and reached out to him, but he backed away. "Sandy?" she asked. Oh, no. No. This was not happening. Susan came over beside her.
"Wait, you don't think..." she began, then hesitantly asked, "...Ian?"
Unable to speak, he nodded. Their eyes widened in shock. "I thought you said that thing was a teleporter!" exclaimed Vicki.
"It is! It must be malfunctioning or something..."
"Malfunctioning like this?!"
"I don't know!"
"Well, we'd better figure it out quickly," said Vicki, "because I think Ian's going to be hopping mad." Her lips twitched and in second both girls were overcome with giggles. Ian huffed and thumped angrily on the ground to get their attention, but it only made them laugh harder.
"Aw, don't be upset. You're absolutely adorable!" Susan tickled him under the chin. He glared at her, but they weren't deterred. It was difficult to look imposing when you were only six pounds soaking wet. He settled for turning his back on their teasing since the door was shut and he was unlikely to be able to open it. They cooed at him for several more minutes, poking and petting him, much to his growing irritation.
"Oh, come on, girls!" he thought. "You've had your fun, now fix this!" He thumped the floor a few more times before they finally relented.
"All right," said Susan. "Let's get you back to normal." At last! She patted the desk chair. "Hop up," she instructed, prompting another giggle from Vicki. Ian did so with great dignity, surprised at how easily he could leap.
The lights flickered a split second before the ship suddenly bucked violently and then fell straight down. In an instant, it rose up again, spinning and jerking wildly. The girls screamed as everything was plunged into darkness for a few seconds and then just as suddenly, everything stopped. The dim emergency lighting switched on. They had been thrown into a corner of the room, the floor tilted at an odd angle. Fortunately, both girls were unhurt and Susan had grabbed Ian as soon as the chaos had started, keeping him from becoming badly injured.
"Oh, no!" said Vicki. She pointed at the transporter device, which was now on the floor. It had snapped in two.
"Good heavens!" exclaimed Barbara, "What happened?!"
Ian Chesterton lay sprawled on the floor of the TARDIS, surrounded by a large bundle of wires, some of which were still emitting the odd spark. "I'm afraid I just don't know!" the Doctor replied, "He was helping me with a few basic repairs when he stopped responding to anything! Then all of a sudden he just...well, he went mad. Started scrambling about, tearing at the wiring, and well you felt the rest." They were still feeling the rest. The ship had been still after all of that, but now it was periodically lolling around like a ship at sea.
She knelt down and placed a hand over Ian's forehead. "Is he all right?"
"He's had a rather large shock, my dear. I'm afraid he's in critical condition. We must get him to the medical bay immediately." Without any further hesitation, the two of them lifted Ian's body and carried him out.
"I've found the problem!" exclaimed Susan. Ian sat up, hopeful. "This chip here," she held it up, "this is entirely the wrong type for a transporter. It's not supposed to be in this at all. That's why it swapped their minds instead."
"How'd it get in there in the first place?" asked Vicki.
"I don't know."
"Perhaps somebody was bored at work and thought they'd-"
Ian thumped on the desk to try and keep them on task. He tapped on one half of the device with a front paw. "Oh, of course." Susan picked up the piece. "Well, the good news is that it's not actually broken, just cheap. It's designed to come apart like that, but it didn't do it quite right. But it can be fixed!" she added hastily, before Ian could thump again. "It's easy to fix, but the battery's dead. And we can't charge the battery until the ship's repaired."
He relaxed at that. At least he wouldn't be stuck like this. "So poor Sandy's running around in Ian's body," remarked Vicki. "I hope he's not getting into too much trouble."
"Poor Sandy?" thought Ian.
"Speaking of trouble, we really ought to go see if Grandfather and Barbara are all right. And find out what's wrong with the TARDIS." She turned to Ian. "Just...wait here. We'll be right back."
Vicki and Susan hurried out of the room. After a few seconds, Ian hopped down from the desk and followed them. He didn't feel like following any orders at the moment, and besides they'd left the door wide open.
After a few false starts and a bit of stumbling, Ian managed to get the hang of coordinating his new limbs. He went out into the hallway, quickly growing accustomed to this way of moving. What was still disorienting were his senses. It was so iweird/i seeing the world in black and white. And he was still having vision problems. His eyes were on the sides of his head now, giving him a much larger range of view, but terrible depth perception. It didn't help that now he couldn't see anything straight on.
But what weaknesses his eyes had were compensated by his other senses. His sense of smell was excellent. The scent trails left by the girls were so vivid he could practically see them. He could smell the trails left by all five of the ship's occupants as they had come and gone down this corridor, each sent with its own distinct who and when. His whiskers picked up every little air current, a feeling that was difficult for him to describe. And his ears seemed to have a mind of their own. It was a strange, almost involuntary, feeling whenever they moved to catch another sound. They amplified noise, too. Not only could he hear the ever-present TARDIS hum, he could distinguish between the sounds that made up the hum. He could hear several different sets of footsteps and voices. Voices that were talking about him.
He decided to see what was going on.
"Grandfather, what happened?"
"Hmm? Ah, there you are, Susan, Vicki," said the Doctor. "I'm afraid Chesterton here had a little accident with the wiring." The girls gasped at the sight of Ian's body on the exam bed.
"Is he dead?!" Vicki's voice was almost hysterical.
"Goodness, no, child! He's only out cold, but he's not in good condition. Electrocuted himself."
Both Susan and Vicki looked visibly upset. It was only supposed to be a joke. They hadn't intended for things to go so wrong. "Don't look so concerned, I can assure you he will be perfectly fine. Right now, however, we've got a problem on our hands. The artificial gravity is out of alignment and I'm not sure what all else is offline. I need you two to go to the console room and mend all of the broken wires, and then wait for me. I must see to Chesterton first, then I'll be in to finish the repairs."
The girls nodded and set off. From the other side of the medical bay, Barbara asked about some supplies and the Doctor walked over to assist her. Behind him, a small brown rabbit hopped in.
Ian looked up at his body on the exam bed, cocking his head to one side to get a better look. There was something fascinating yet very, very disturbing about an out-of-body experience. Well, out-of-ispecies/i experience, actually. "So if I'm in Sandy's body," he thought, "then that must be Sandy in my body. I wonder how he feels about all this?"
His nose twitched and he caught the scent of his own burned flesh. "And what's he been up to?" He swayed a bit as the ship rocked back and forth a few times. The sound of approaching footsteps make his ears twitch and he quickly ducked behind one of the empty beds as the Doctor and Barbara came back over.
"...automatic force field keeping him on the bed. If he comes to, he can get up, but in the meantime it will prevent him from being thrown off," the Doctor was saying. While his back was turned, Ian moved out a little to get a better look at what they were doing.
"Now, I realise I can be a bit, eh, harsh with the boy, but I never expected him to go and do something like this! I mean, Chesterton's a perfectly intelligent young man." The Doctor wrung his hands. "Pass me that medikit…" Barbara did so ,and the Doctor proceeded to treat the electrical burns.
Ian sat back on his haunches, feeling smug. So the old fellow really did care!
The moment was too good to last, for the Doctor turned around and spotted him. "And that blasted rabbit's loose again!" he said irritably, "I've told them a thousand times to keep that thing in their room!" He started towards Ian, who scurried away. Unfortunately, with his poor eyesight, he didn't see Barbara until he crashed into her legs, and before he could react he found himself picked up yet again. He squirmed to get free, but she was surprisingly strong.
"Why don't I go put Sandy back in his hutch?" she asked.
"That would be very helpful. I've got enough trouble around here with a damaged ship and Chesterfield in this state!"
Barbara started out the door and down the hall. If she didn't know any better, she'd swear the rabbit was sulking. "Come on," she said gently. "Let's get you back where you belong." She kissed its little head and its ears sprang up. With one hand, she stroked its back hoping that it would stay calm while she walked. After a few moments, it leaned up and bumped its nose on her chin.
The ship swayed a few more times, but other than that there was no trouble. When she tried to put the rabbit back in the cage, though...
"Stop that!" she said. Sandy wasn't making this easy. He'd stuck out all four paws and braced them on the door frame, refusing to go in. She pulled him back and tried again, but he only struggled harder. He tried climbing up her arms, then the outside of the cage, then he started thrashing about in her hands. Finally she'd gotten him in by holding his front paws together. "There we go! Was that so difficult?" She'd never seen a rabbit look so put out before. As she went to close the door, the ship gave a sudden lurch and she fell down.
Sandy promptly seized the opportunity and jumped, balanced on the edge of the frame, then leaped to the floor. Barbara made a grab for him, but he danced out of reach and scurried off down the hall. She sighed in frustration and ran after him.
Ian ran as fast as his legs would carry him, having zero desire of spending the day caged. He only stumbled a few times, but quickly recovered. Behind him, he could hear Barbara in hot pursuit. Of all the things he could be running from, he never expected to be running from her! He turned a corner and scanned the corridor for a hiding place, but didn't see any likely places. Wait, there! An air duct with the grating open. He quickly ran over and climbed inside...
...only to discover that instead of a horizontal duct, it was a sheer drop.