So, there's a million other blooper stories out there I'm sure, but I'm going to do one anyway. I'm Kerrigor the evil, the awesome, the ultimate…

Garland: GET ON WITH IT!

Fine. I'm going to use scenes from all over the series and use them in this story. Pretty much the whole story will be my three muses being invited to the Square Enix Studio and watching the cast members screw up horribly. And now to introduce my muses.

Fang: What? Oh, hi.

Terraform: Mwahahahahaha KAMIKAZE! *zooms out of sight*

Kamec: I'm in a story? Well this sucks!

You don't seem very enthusiastic…

Fang: I don't know…maybe because we're NOT?

You know, I control your paycheck….

Fang: Dammit.

Anyway. Now on to the craziness!

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Terraform, Fang, and the ever hateable Kamec stood before the doorway of the giant Square Enix Hotel with their luggage behind them.

"Well this sucks," Kamec quipped, staring at the entrance. Terraform giggled madly to himself while Fang attempted to lift his eighty pound suitcase.

"You'd think they would send out someone to greet us," Kamec complained. Just then, a small white figure came flying out of one of the top floor's windows, screaming at the top of its lungs. The three muses stared at it as it flew out over the horizon and out of sights.

"What the hell was that?" Fang muttered.

"I'm not sure I want to know," Kamec muttered. "Well, we might as well go and make an entrance."

"Entrance?" Terraform said, stopping his mad laughter for a second. "KAMIKAZE!"

Then he ran forward at a high speed and jumped, spinning around like a torpedo in midair. He gathered speed until he zoomed right through the revolving doors, shattering them easily and landing in the middle of the reception room.

Everything went completely silent as everyone in the room stared at the smoking muse.

"Damn it to hell! I told you not to say anything about making an entrance around Terraform!" Fang scolded.

"Well, this sucks," Kamec responded. "Let's just go and see what awaits us."

When the two walked in, they stopped and facepalmed, because Terraform was doing what he always did: monologuing.

"I am the hottest thing alive! No one can match the flames of my passion! I will burn this hotel to the ground merely by being in it! Mwahaha…" Terraform ranted. Then Fang and Kamec watched a tall figure in red and blue robes stalk into the ruins of the reception room and lift Terraform by his shirt collar.

"Ackph…what?" Terraform stammered, his legs flailing in the air. Then the creature…demon…whatever the BEEP that thing was walked over to us slowly carrying the struggling Terraform.

"Is this yours?" the creature rumbled. Fang looked at Kamec and grinned.

"Nope. Never seen him before," Fang replied, grinning innocently.

"Just some guy we saw on the plane here," Kamec agreed. Terraform looked at us in rage.

"Don't you guys just abandon me!" Terraform wailed. The creature looked at us, and then at his captive.

The creature then hurled Terraform clear across the reception room and into a stack of brochures. Then its cloak ignited, covering the creature with white hot flames.

"WHO'S HOT? ME!" the thing roared, tossing a fireball at the hapless muse.

"My hair!" Terraform wailed, running around in circles. He then found a fountain and jumped in it. Fang and Kamec were rolling on the floor laughing as the creature humiliated their friend.

The thing was about to toss another fireball when an official looking man walked into the room, stepping over the rubble.

"Rubicante! You're due on the set in five minutes!" the man called. The creature, which they all had recognized as Rubicante, the Autarch of Flame, nodded and glided away after the man.

Fang and Kamec wiped the tears of laughter from their eyes and turned to regard Terraform, who was now soaked AND bald.

"None of you…say…anything," Terraform growled.

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Now that they had checked in, the three muses climbed the stairs to the top floor, where their room was going to be.

"Well…this…sucks…" Kamec groaned as he climbed another flight.

"Would you stop…saying that?" Fang growled.

"Don't dis my catchphrase," Kamec mumbled back.

"You suck!" Fang muttered.

"You suck!" Kamec returned.

"You suck!"

"You suck!"

"YOU SUCK!"

"YOU SUCK!"

"YOU SUCK!"

"YOU SUCK!"

"YOU SUCK!"

"SHUT UP!" screamed a very irate Firion, who was walking down the stairs. The man pulled out a wild rose and hurled it at Kamec. It hit him in the face, knocking him down all 45 five sets of stairs that he had already climbed.

"GOD FREAKIN DAMMIT BEEPING HELL STUPID BEEPING ROSE GOD MUTHER…" Kamec shouted, until Terraform and Fang couldn't hear him anymore.

"Nice man," Terraform complimented, holding out his hand to high five Firion. The warrior looked at him weirdly.

"Why are you bald?" Firion asked innocently. Terraform fell to his knees and burst into tears. Fang held out his hand for a high five, and got one.

"Later, Firion," Fang whispered. The warrior gave Fang a friendly nod and continued on his way.

After much cursing, Kamec caught up to the other two and they eventually reached their floor.

"Which one's our room?" Fang mumbled.

"494," Terraform reminded him. "Which would be this one! KAMIKAZE!"

"Terraform, no! That's…the wrong…room," Kamec yelled as Terraform did his signature move straight through the door of what he thought was their room. Fang and Kamec stared in silence at the wrecked door for a few seconds.

"HOW DARE YOU ENTER MY ROOM UNINVITED? I'LL CRUSH YOU!" hollered a very familiar voice.

"Nonononon ACK!" screamed Terraform, and then Kamec and Fang watched as the poor guy flew out of Garland's room and through the wall.

"Well this sucks," Kamec said simply, unlocking their real room and entering.

"For once, I agree." Fang muttered.

The two were all settled and ready for bed by the time Terraform had extricated himself from the wall. They stared at the poor bald muse as he entered the room and plopped down on his bed.

"Stop staring," Terraform gritted. There was an awkward silence.

"Well this sucks." Kamec quipped. "I'm turning on the TV."

The first thing that was on was a Live Set show, so that the three of them could see what was going on in the studio right now.

"How come we get this?" Fang asked.

"VIP rooms for the win!" Terraform yelled. "Come on lets see what's going on!"

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Rubicante meets Edge in Final Fantasy IV Take 1:

The ninja prince ran forward, both of his swords unsheathed and pointing at the archfiend.

"Rubicante! At last!" Edge announced, stepping closer to the Autarch of Flame.

"Am…" Rubicante started.

"I am Edge, prince of Eblan!" Edge continued, cutting across the fiend.

"Ebla…"

"It doesn't matter, because you are about to meet your demise!" Edge continued.

"LET ME TALK DAMMIT! GLARE!" Rubicante howled, unleashing his ultimate spell on the hapless ninja.

Director: Cut! Rubicante, you're not supposed to defeat him yet! *glances at the barbecued prince*

"He didn't let me have my lines!" Rubicante complained.

Rubicante meets Edge in Final Fantasy IV Take 2:

The ninja prince ran forward, both of his swords unsheathed and pointing at the archfiend.

"Rubicante…" Edge began, but Rubicante cut across him.

"I AM THE ONE WITH THE LINES THIS TIME! GLARE!" Rubicante roared, frying the ninja prince yet again.

Director: Have you people ever heard of the script? CUT!

Rubicante meets Edge in Final Fantasy IV Take 3:

"Rubicante! At last!" Edge announced, stepping closer to the Autarch of Flame.

"Am I supposed to know who you are?" Rubicante demanded coolly.

"I am Edge, prince of Eblan!" Edge answered confidently, holding his sword out.

"Eblan? I don't think I've heard that name before." The fiend replied.

"It doesn't matter, because you are about to meet your demise!" Edge continued.

Director: This is going well so far! Keep it up!

The two clashed together: Edge with his sword and Rubicante with his dirk. Edge was good, but slowly Rubicante began to overcome him. So the ninja unleashed his Flame attack.

Rubicante laughed as the flames healed him.

"Poor technique. Let me show you how it is done. GL…" Rubicante started, but before he could finish casting his ultimate spell, Edge dropped his sword and proceeded to run out of the cave screaming like a little girl.

"NONONO NOT GLARE! PLEASE NOT GLARE, MISTER EVIL FIEND! I'LL BE GOOD NOW I'LL JUST…"

Director: *sighs* Cut…Edge, it's a special effect.

"That's not what he cast on me the first time!" Edge whined.

Rubicante meets Edge in Final Fantasy IV Take 4:

"Poor technique. Let me show you how it is done. GLARE!" Rubicante shouted. This time, Edge just stood there and let the blast hit him. To everyone's surprise, the spell rebounded off of him and headed in another direction.

Director: HOLY BEEP! *dives off of his chair and into a closet as the blast disintegrates the chair* Oh and cut by the way!

"Thanks for the reflect spell, Aerith!" Edge said, waving cheerfully off-screen.

"Anytime!" calls Aerith from off-screen.

Rubicante meets Edge in Final Fantasy IV Take 5:

"Poor technique. Let me show you how it is done. FIRAGA!" Rubicante shouted, hurling the potent flame spell at Edge. The ninja stood there dumbfounded.

"But…my shield was meant to block Glare, not…BLAGH!" Edge screamed as the fire spell burned him to a crisp. "I demand a pay raise!"

Director: Cut…I need a muffin.

Rubicante meets Edge in Final Fantasy IV Take 6:

"Rubicante! At last!" Edge announced, stepping closer to the Autarch of Flame.

"Am I supposed to know who you are?" Rubicante demanded coolly.

"I am Edge, prince of Eblan!" Edge answered confidently, holding his sword out.

"Eblan? I don't think I've heard that name before." The fiend replied.

"It doesn't matter, because you are about to meet your demise!" Edge continued.

Director: This is going well so far! Keep it up!

The two clashed together: Edge with his sword and Rubicante with his dirk. Edge was good, but slowly Rubicante began to overcome him. So the ninja unleashed his Flame attack.

Rubicante laughed as the flames healed him.

"Poor technique. Let me show you how it is done. GL…" Rubicante started, but just then, a group of people walked onscreen. It was Reno of the Turks, followed by Terra Branford and Zack Fair.

"And here, we have Naruto the sissy ninja battling the grim reaper wannabe. Moving on…" Reno commented to his companions before moving on.

"What the…I DO NOT LOOK LIKE NARUTO!" Edge roared.

Director: Dammit, Reno, the tour wasn't until 5:00 pm…cut!

Cecil fights Kain Highwind in Fabul Take 1:

Cecil, the honorable dark knight, faced his once best friend, filled with feelings of confusion. Why would Kain betray him?

"Are you ready to face me Cecil?" Kain demanded, lifting his spear. Cecil responded by coughing once…and then twice. And then the dark knight fell to his knees and started gasping for breath.

Director: He's choking! Someone get him some air!

Kain dropped his spear and ran to his friend, searching for a way to help his suffocating friend. Then he went to Cecil's visor and opened it. Cecil sighed in relief and began to breathe easier again.

Director: Why are you having trouble breathing in your armor?

"There's no air holes in this thing!" Cecil complained.

Cecil fights Kain Highwind in Fabul Take 2:

Cecil, the honorable dark knight, faced his once best friend, filled with feelings of confusion. Why would Kain betray him?

"Are you ready to face me Cecil?" Kain demanded, lifting his spear. Cecil responded throwing down his sword and looking at the director with indignation.

"What? Are. You. Kidding. Me. You want me to face KAIN BEEPING HIGHWIND? ARE YOU INSANE?" Cecil screamed.

Director: It's part of the script…

"That's the only excuse you have for unleashing a BEEPING GOD on me? I demand a pay raise!" Cecil shot back. He opened his mouth again to argue some more, but Kain finally got sick of listening and had conked the dark knight on the helmet, nearly crushing it. Cecil fell to the ground, out cold.

Director: Thank you. Get his helmet fixed and let's start over.

Cecil fights Kain Highwind in Fabul Take 3:

Cecil, the honorable dark knight, faced his once best friend, filled with feelings of confusion. Why would Kain betray him?

"Are you ready to face me Cecil?" Kain demanded, lifting his spear. Cecil shook his head, not wanting to fight his friend.

"Ready your sword, fool!" Kain shouted, leaping high off the ground and bringing his spear down with great force. Cecil brought his sword up to block. However, when the spear hit the blade, the force of impact was so great that the crystal floor was shattered and Cecil was driven over ninety feet underground.

"Oops. I think I hit a little too hard," Kain commented, staring down the hole.

Director: CUT! Kain, I thought I told you to bring your FOAM spear today!

"Foam spears are for pussies!" Kain complained.

Cecil fights Kain Highwind in Fabul Take 4:

Cecil, the honorable dark knight, faced his once best friend, filled with feelings of confusion. Why would Kain betray him?

"Are you ready to face me Cecil?" Kain demanded, lifting his spear. Cecil shook his head, not wanting to fight his friend.

"Ready your sword, fool!" Kain shouted. Cecil did so, but noticed that the dragoon had not lifted his spear.

Director: Kain…what are you doing?

Kain stared hard at Cecil, and then jerked his gaze down to the floor. Cecil screamed as he was abruptly wrenched through the crystal floor and fell again….ninety feet underground.

"Yeah, I can manipulate people with my mind!" Kain bragged.

Director: Cut…..why are you all idiots….?

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The three muses were now all on the floor, laughing their asses off. It took five minutes for Kamec to crawl over to the TV and turn it off.

"Damn it to HELL, Kamec, why'd you turn it off?" Fang demanded.

"It's 2:56 am," Kamec commented. Fang and Terraform nodded in understanding and went to their beds and attempted to sleep.

"Tomorrow, we are getting me a wig…." Terraform grumbled.

"Shut up and sleep," Fang retorted.

"Well, this s-OOMPH!" Kamec grunted as Fang slammed his fist on his stomach.