A/N: heeyyy guys. Since my recent short hiatus with Cynthia- due to her being busy with school n' stuff, I decided to write a short little one-shot. I just finished The Ranger's Apprentice book 9 and got a little bored… so this came from one of those one-word fanfiction prompts. This one was "machine". Those help, they really do. Anyway, until next time! Comment, suggest, compliment, critique, love, hate, review and enjoy! :) J
Hershey's Bar Ransom
"WORK, YOU STUPID THING!" Holly yelled. She kicked the vending machine several times. Nothing happened. The bar of Hershey's chocolate remained wedged between the glass door, and the spirals inside that brought it out. "I HATE YOU, STUPID MACHINE!" She kicked it again, before standing back to pant.
"Machine… thing… I admire your vast knowledge of adjectives, Captain Short," Artemis said, from behind.
She snapped her head around to glare daggers at him. "Shut up, mud boy," she growled.
Artemis, Holly and Butler were London, on one of Fowl's business trips. Butler was obviously there because he was his manservant, but Holly was there on an assigned mission. An assigned mission to keep Artemis under control; the LEP had been very careful about what he did and where he went. Even though they trusted him more, with Artemis, you could never be too sure.
So they were walking on the streets of London, to the meeting that Artemis was required to go to. Holly wouldn't be going in, probably; she'd just be guarding the outside. At the time, Butler was scouting to make sure the coast was clear, while Holly stayed back with his principle.
But Holly's concerns were placed somewhere else at the moment.
She paced around, muttering to herself in a low tone, "Stupid machine… stupid mud boy… stupid London… All I want is a Hershey's bar. I saw the vending machine, gave it a dollar, selected what I wanted, and it refuses to give it to me. Stupid British, with their… stupid TV shows, and… beautiful cheekbones…"
"I see you're talking this very hard," Artemis observed. Before Holly could say something like 'you don't say', he continued. "Might I suggest giving it another dollar, and selecting the same thing? Most likely, that would force it out, and get you another bar as well."
"That's an idea," she said. "But I don't like it. I'm just giving it what it wants." She stopped walking, and stared at the vending machine.
"It doesn't have a conscious."
"It's ransom now, whether it has a consciousness or not."
Artemis rolled his eyes. Ransom. He was growing tired of this elf…
"Holly," he whispered, switching now to her first name, in hopes of catching her attention, "please give it up…" He sighed. "You can't win every battle. You know that. You-"
For just half a second, the officer directed her glare back at Artemis. "I may not win every battle, but I can certainly win one against an inanimate object!" she exclaimed.
She ran to the machine again, and kicked it. The force sent her back a few feet, and when she saw that the kick hadn't worked, she decided to use another method. Her hand flew to her hip, where her Neutrino was, and she began to whip it out-
However, she was stopped by Butler, who reached down and held her forearm in place. "Not here," he ordered sternly.
She and Artemis looked around. The people on the street were staring at her.
Butler had seemed to come out of nowhere. He'd just been scouting the area, and when he came back the first thing he'd seen was Holly about to shoot the vending machine with her gun. Naturally, he had to stop her.
The manservant sighed. "Holly, don't over-"
"Are you saying that you wouldn't be pissed if a vending machine stole your money without giving you your snack?"
Again, Butler sighed. "It didn't mean to steal your money, it's just a ja-"
"And now it expects me to pay ransom."
Butler was defeated. Trolls, the Russian Mafiya, Opal Koboi, and even arguments with Artemis, sure. But an angry Holly Short? No thank you. He looked to his principle for advice, but only got a shrug in response.
For the third time that past minute, he sighed, and walked forward to the vending machine. Might as well give the steaming, red faced captain what she wanted. So he gave the machine a powerful, forceful kick, unlike the ones she was capable of giving. The Hershey's bar tumbled down.
Holly reached in and calmly grabbed the candy. When she came back out, and nonchalantly began to unwrap it, she said, "Thank you, Butler. That was a feat only a 6 foot 10 giant could accomplish."
"Your insults are more gratifying than any praise could ever be. I should be thanking you." Of course, he was 100% sarcastic in saying this.
Artemis looked up to the sky, for help with those two. Naturally, he got none.