Extremely short drabble, intertwined with anakmanga's Sunpelt's Path. The story before: Sunpelt got Shadowheart pregnant, Sunpelt and Shadowheart are from different clans. Sunpelt is angry that Shadowheart is pregnant and abandons here. I think that's all.
My mother named me Shadowkit because she saw shadows in me at my birth.
My leader named me Shadowheart because my heart, he said, will remain forever in the shadows, never seeing the light of day.
Morbid? I think. I watched my tiny, precious Whitekit. His siblings, Turtlekit and Nightkit, hadn't made the night. He looked a bit like Sunpelt. I wondered if Sunpelt had looked like Whitekit as a kit. "Shadowheart?" Leafywind meowed softly. "I'm sorry." What for, I wanted to ask. I brought this fate onto myself. I fell in love with someone from another clan, and now I have given birth the a half Clanner.
I wondered if Sunpelt ever thought about me again. Selfish cat, I scolded myself. Always thinking about youself. You hurt Sunpelt badly, you know that? I shut down my inner voice and returned to licking Whitefire. I wondered if Sunpelt had taken on another mate yet. Probably. Leafywind had once said that Sunpelt could have any mate he wanted. He did have the looks and personality that would send any she-cat swooning (that had sent me swooning, and we all know how that ended up).
As if on cue, my sister stepped into the nursery, carrying borage leaves. "For milk," she told me. "So Whitekit won't starve." Was there bitterness in her tone? I think so. She probably hated me for giving birth to a half Clanner.
"I love you, Shadowheart," Leafywind meowed softly. "They look like our brothers and Littlepaw," I murmured as Leafywind was about to pad out. She stopped and stiffened. Then she turned around and buried her head in my flank. "Nightfern and Turtlefur would have wanted us to be happy. So would Littlepaw." Leafywind changed the subject. "Nightkit looked like Sunpelt. Why did you name her Nightkit, Shadowheart? She was ginger." I smiled softly at my brown tabby sister, despite internally cringing at the use of past tense. It was harsh, but out of my litter of three, only one had survived. My sister's large, dark green eyes mirrored my own, curiosity in them at why I had named a sun-colored kit after the night.
"After the night that shrouds my heart. For the same reason Appleblossom named me Shadowkit. After the darkness that shrouded my kit." Leafywind sighed. "You'll be a great mother, Shadowheart."
A bitter smile found its way onto my lips. I placed my tail over my son protectively.
"I'll be mother and father to Whitekit. After all, his own father hates us."
And Leafywind didn't try to deny it. Hope is lost when my sister becomes pessimistic. "I love him, Leafywind," I whispered, broken. Leafywind was quiet. "He loves you too, Shadowheart. He's just too stupid to admit it." And, for the first time since I found out I was pregnant, I laughed. "Toms are stupid." A soft smile slipped onto Leafywind's face. Like old times, I decided, like old times.
Inexplicably ashamed at writing an OC-centric fic.