Disclaimer: I DO NOT own supernatural OR any of its characters!

Warnings: may contain, coarse language, and mild violence.

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~December 23rd 1989~

"No! And if I hear it again I will give you something to cry about!" John snapped his grip tightening on the wheel.

Sam wiped the tears from his eyes, his chest hurting, guess he and his older brother, Dean, won't be getting a Christmas this year either.

Dean looked around from the passenger seat at Sam, his heart sinking at the sight of his little brothers sad, red face, Sam was five years old and still hadn't had a Christmas, even Dean got at least one or two before the tragic incident of their mother, Mary's death, nothing was ever the same since that terrible night, Dean remembered the heat from Sam's nursery, the smell of smoke, the stench of evil that plagued the air, his father's orders echoing in his mind, a tear ran down his cheek, a lump in the back of his throat. John's focus had turned to Dean; he was enraged to see his eldest crying. He threw a menacing look at his son, Dean knew he was in deep shit, he was waiting for the inevitable, but it didn't come, his father was now watching the road, his eyes narrowed , this didn't mean that he was off the hook.

They later pulled up outside another sleazy motel, taking the same precautions as always.

"Sammy, why don't you go get yourself a soda?" John asked handing him some small change.

Sam took the money and ran off towards the closest vending machine. Dean started following after him when he felt a sudden tug on the back of his shirt; John pulled dean up against the impala out of Sam's view. Dean squeezed his eyes shut, John's slap stinging his face, "Dean? What the hell is wrong with you? Pulling that crap in front of Sam? He has got to look up to you boy! how is he supposed to do that if he sees you crying over some stupid holiday, we have bigger problems, now grow up!" he shouted letting go of his sons shoulders, he unpacked their stuff and headed towards the motel room door, Dean gathered himself before joining his father.

"here." stated Sam holding a can of cold cola out in front of him, an inviting smile on his face, Dean took the soda from him, ruffling his hair, Sam chuckled making Dean Smile.

His father was right; Sam did look up to Dean, more than he did John which was fine considering John was barely there, unable to keep a watchful eye on his babies, which was why he needed dean to be strong, for Sam and his own survival, he had taught dean everything he knows, about surviving, about hunting, about what was really out there in the world, lurking in the shadows, John like many 'hunters' were forced into this life, after the death of his beloved Mary, he devoted his life and unknowingly, his kids lives, to tracking down and killing the thing responsible, John loved his family, or what was left of it, being a hunter wasn't exactly something for people who wanted a normal, safe life with loved ones, John had been warned many times that he was more of a threat to his sons than anything, sure he had hit them on more than one occasion , only if they got out of line, nothing serious, he'd never broken a bone or spilt blood, not yet anyway, he'd never really admit it, but Dean reminded John of Mary..allot, even if anyone had pointed it out, he would disagree even act offended that they could compare his son to a woman, but it was true, Dean's big, beautiful, green eyes were a dead giveaway, with their thick lashes and sparkling texture, it sometimes pained John to look his son in the face, because of how he resembled her so.