Day 23: Arguing

Sebastian was level headed, he stayed calm through almost any situation and he prided himself on that fact. It was a necessary skill for anyone spending any time with Jim, let alone the man's flatmate and sometimes-kinda-sorta-maybe boyfriend. Sebastian was well used to ignoring Jim's histrionics. Now though, now Sebastian was furious. Furious and hurt. Jim made a thousand empty threats a day, and yesterday had been no different. Sebastian had never expected Jim to follow through.

His phone was in pieces on the floor, a scratch in the paint where it had hit the wall. He'd thrown it nearly five hours ago now, almost as soon as that revolting video came through. It hadn't helped. Every frame of that video was tattooed behind his eyelids and every time he blinked he could see it.

Jim fumbled with the camera on his phone, pointing it at himself and speaking in a drunken whisper. "Hi Sebby! Ready for the show?" There was a low chuckle and the camera wobbled as it changed hands but stayed pointing at Jim. It followed the Irishman as he dropped gracefully to his knees, eyes wide and delighted as he reached up with an oh-so-familiar concentrated expression. A zipper was pulled, sounding incredibly loud in the thick silence. Jim pushed down the man's jeans and underwear, shuffling a little closer on his knees and giving the camera one last look.

Whatever horny stranger Jim had found was half hard already and Jim giggled, licking his lips. There was a moment of blurriness as the camera shook and when the picture cleared it came with a low moan. Jim was loosely fisting the man's cock, coaxing him to full hardness and flicking his tongue almost delicately against the head. He ran his tongue across the sensitive glans, eventually wrapping his lips around the man and swallowing him down. It took him a few agonisingly slow moving seconds to adjust and force back his gag reflex and a loud moan crackled through the speakers as the tip of the man's cock hit the back of Jim's throat.

"Oh god."

Jim pulled off slowly, lightly scraping his teeth along the stranger's shaft, and a thin trail of spit and precome dripped from his slightly swollen lower lip. He smirked, looking directly into the camera as he spoke. "'m no god." There was wry amusement in his tone as Jim's hand moved automatically, a small flick at the end of each thrust making the man he'd picked up pant and groan. "You can call me kitten if you'd like."

A hand wove into Jim's hair, dragging him back towards the stranger's cock, and there was a grunt from behind the camera. "Good, kitten."

Sebastian felt sick. He'd stopped watching not long after that, once Jim had stood up with his accent thick and cracked from the strain his throat had been put under. For the first time ever that throaty drawl didn't make him shiver and his cock jump. Jim had set the camera down on a dresser, pointed directly to the bed, and Sebastian had snapped and trashed his phone.

It was stupid really. He shouldn't be upset. It wasn't like he was being replaced. He knew he didn't mean anything to Jim. Sebastian's own feelings were meaningless. You can't cheat on someone if you're not actually together. Jim had told him so himself for fuck's sake.

"Get out of my sight." Jim screamed at him, hands curled into fists at his sides and eyes black with rage and something that Sebastian couldn't quite identify. "You disgust me."

Sebastian stared at him in confusion, used to being yelled at by Jim but genuinely not sure what he'd done this time. "What's wrong?"

"You!" It was a near hysterical snarl this time and Jim backed up a step as Sebastian moved forward. "You always looking at me like a lost little puppy. You are your fucking emotions, clouding your judgement. What happened to you? You used to be strong and wild and powerful and now you're some tame little bitch, waiting for Daddy to love you back. You disgust me." The words poured out at a hundred miles an hour and Sebastian stumbled back a step, not sure how to react to the vitriol that Jim was spitting at him. "You think you're something special but you're not. You're just a washed up soldier who happens to have a lucky shot. You're only here still because you shoot well. Keeping my bed warm so I don't have to find anyone else to fuck is just a bonus. I could find someone else in a fucking heartbeat, and I bet they wouldn't be stupid enough to fall in love with me."

Sebastian was silent for a long time, everything he tried to say clogging in his throat. "Maybe if you're so sure you can find someone better then you should go and fucking do it."

Jim lifted his chin, eyes like ice and fire at once. "You know what, darling." The nickname was spat out like a cuss word, like it dirtied Jim's mouth just to let the word pass his lips. "I think I will. Can't be more pathetic than you."

Jim had stalked out then, disappearing for the night. It wasn't the first time he'd disappeared with angry words and an empty threat, but it had never, never, been that bad before. Sebastian kept expecting to get a call to come pick Jim up from some bar but it never came. When the sniper's phone finally did chime at 2am he leapt for it, refusing to even be embarrassed about his need to know if Jim was okay. Because Sebastian was in love with Jim and that was the simple truth. It had been for a long time. He'd resigned himself to the fact Jim would never love him back, because really look at them both. Jim was a force of nature and Sebastian was nothing. He'd just deluded himself into thinking Jim cared enough at least to pretend he didn't know.

It wasn't a text asking to be picked up. It was an email and Sebastian frowned in confusion, clicking on the video file attached that was titled simply 'Seb xx'.

Sebastian hadn't moved since he'd pressed play.

There was a creak, the front door opening slowly and Sebastian stared in disbelief as Jim crept in. It made the urge to vomit rush over him again and he averted his eyes. The Irishman was ruffled and looked so very small. His hair was messed up, lips swollen and eyes red with what Sebastian assumed could only be exhaustion. There were shoddily concealed bite marks all up his neck and hand shaped bruises on his arms. He didn't doubt there were countless more beneath the jeans Jim wore and from the way the criminal gingerly lowered himself into his arm chair he didn't want to know.

Jim looked across at Sebastian and frowned slightly. "Seb-" He started but faltered immediately. "I want to apologise for what I said. I didn't mean it."

Sebastian closed his eyes for a moment, fighting back the nauseated feeling in his stomach. Of all the things to apologise he was apologising for the argument? The sniper nodded stiffly. "Forget about it. Doesn't matter. It was just a fight." He'd said the words before, countless times, but he'd never meant them before. Because now it really was just a fight. God, he wished it was the same as always and he could be pissed about the fight but he couldn't. He just felt empty.

Jim nodded slowly, a cautious smile creeping onto his face. "Gonna kiss and make up, tiger?" It was the same tone as always, their own little routine but Sebastian didn't feel like playing along any more. The sniper just shook his head, pushing himself out of his chair, moving through to the kitchen and ignoring Jim's confusion. "Seb?"

"No." Sebastian replied quietly, leaning against the counter and dropping his face into his hands. He was surprised as arms wound around his waist, Jim wouldn't normally follow him. But then Jim had never done this before. "Get off, Jim." He said, voice still quiet as he gently pushed Jim away from himself and started looking through the cupboards to avoid looking at the smaller man.

"I'll have a cup of tea if you're making one." Jim chirped, usually cheery tone underscored by a note of hesitancy as he tried to work out what was wrong with Sebastian.

"I'm not. Just leave me alone, yeah? Go have a shower, you reek of those fucking bars." And sex. Jim stank of cheap cologne, sex and booze and if Sebastian was around it much longer he really was going to be sick.

Three days. Jim lasted three days before snapping, three days of being pushed away every time he tried to sit in Sebastian's lap or steal a kiss, three days of Sebastian making excuses and rescheduling hits so he'd be out late and gone early, never in bed with Jim for more than an hour or so. Three days of Sebastian avoiding eye contact and every other kind of contact with Jim.

"What's wrong with you?" The question was snarled, frustration bubbling over as the sniper dodged a cheerful good morning kiss from the Irishman who had, until that moment, been in a good mood. "You've been pussyfooting around for days. Are you still angry from the fight?"

Sebastian laughed bitterly, shaking his head and shooting Jim a glare, finally at his wits end. "No. I'm still angry because you cheated on me."

Jim's eyes widened in surprise but apparently his ridiculous stubborn streak was still in place as he shook his head. "I didn't cheat on you! I told you, I got in a fight, that's what all the bruises are from."

A sharp stab of anger rocketed through Sebastian and he ran his fingers through his hair in exasperation. "Jim, you can't fucking deny it when you sent me a fucking video." He didn't expect Jim's jaw to drop and for the man to look genuinely horrified.

" I what?"

"Did I fucking stutter?" Sebastian asked, pent up anger starting to show on the surface as he crossed his arms with a frown. "I got a video file at two in the fucking morning of you sucking off some guy and telling him to call you kitten." He had to admit that that had hurt the most. It wasn't even as though it was a drunken mistake. Jim, admittedly drunk Jim but that didn't change a thing, had been actively trying to hurt Sebastian. "It looked like it went a hell of a lot further but I couldn't watch it." He took a deep breath, letting it out slowly and turning away. "I'm sorry, I can't do this. I thought I could." He swallowed hard, not quite believing he was about to say what he was.

"I quit."