Well, as I haven't updated in forever, I figured I'd post a little drabble I wrote a long time ago. The reason I never posted it before was because it's actually a sequel to a fanfic I never finished, which was to be dubbed "Aumaumer", which is Powhaton for "Awake". This story was to be about Axel, before he lost his heart to the darkness. In my story (as there are many, due to the fact that Sqeenix didn't actually tell us anything about Axel's previous life), Axel was a boy named Ale, and resided in Powhaton (a.k.a Pocahontas's world). Anyways, I have no idea if I'll ever finish it, so I figured I'd post some of the sequel... since I have more of the sequel done than the actual fic. XD /lazy author
On with the writing
Blue as the endless sky, those eyes. How was he to know that they would be the last thing he saw, in the life he could not remember, and in the end of his being in general, the end of this 'lack of existence'?
They were beautiful, still. Such a pure, shimmering blue. Roxas would often catch Axel looking at them, mouth slightly agape, and tease him for it. To add insult to injury, that conniving blond had apparently told Demyx about his strange obsession, and so, he was forced to endure twice as many jests.
That feeling was still there. That nagging, sharp pain in Axel's upper chest. He had been struggling, recently, to put a name to it. Often, it caused a lump to form in his throat. Sometimes Axel almost felt as though tears were welling up in his eyes. Surely this couldn't be sadness? Nobodies could not experience such a thing. Axel considered asking one of his comrades about it, but felt it best to hold his tongue. Such talk was nonsense. Why would they honestly believe him?
"Hey."
Axel pulled himself out of his thoughts to find Roxas, two ice creams in hand, sitting down next to him. He must have had gotten back from his mission early, as they usually didn't meet atop Twilight Tower until later in the evening. The sun was still fairly high in the sky, a gentle spring breeze floating in from the ocean. Axel liked to come here in the afternoon, before their daily meetings, just to stare at the sky. It reminded him of Roxas, and filled him with a hazy, but pleasant sensation. Roxas nudged him, handing him one of the icy treats. Axel vaguely recalled the first time he had tried sea-salt ice cream, a dessert found only in Twilight Town. He had swiped one from Roxas upon their first meeting. The taste was quite unique; sweet and creamy, but then, salty. Axel had rather disliked it at first, but was oddly intrigued by its diversity. His blond partner, however, couldn't seem to get enough of the stuff. It was a rare sight indeed, to see him without the light-blue treat hanging out of his mouth. Taking a bite, Axel gave a shrug. It wasn't so bad, he decided.
They talked about a variety of things, as they usually did. Mostly they discussed unimportant, irrelevant things, like foods that they preferred, other worlds that they had visited, and the like.
"Have you ever wondered if you've stumbled across yours?" Roxas asked suddenly. "Like your former world? Without realizing it?"
It was something that Axel had never thought of before. "I always just figured that our worlds were destroyed by the heartless." He said, cocking an eyebrow.
"Well, that makes sense, but…" The blond responded, then trailed off. "…well, I mean… just 'what if', you know?" He asked, setting the naked popsicle stick beside him and putting his hands behind his head. "It'd be kind of sad, wouldn't it? Seeing your family, friends… but neither of you would know."
"Then how is it sad?" asked Axel, with a chuckle. "If neither one knew, then-"
"That's not what I meant." Roxas snapped. "I mean, just the thought of it."
There was a long silence. After taking another bite of ice cream, which was melting rapidly, Axel gave a sarcastic laugh. "Not that we can 'feel' sadness, anyway." He still hadn't told Roxas about the 'pain' in his chest.
"I'm beginning to think that 'superior' is full of shit." Roxas scowled, dropping his hands.
Axel hadn't expected such a violent retort, and choked on his last bit of ice cream, the salt burning his throat. "What makes you say that?" He asked, meekly. Instead of a response, Roxas merely looked at him. The light from the setting sun washed over them, molding to the blonde's thin frame. His face, turned from the sun, was partially shadowed, but his eyes shone brightly. His hair seemed to be bleeding gold. Axel felt as though someone had knocked the wind out of him. Suddenly, all at once, a new sensation swept over him. The pain in his chest lifted, a pleasant lightness taking its place. Heat rose to his cheeks, and he began to feel dizzy. 'Beautiful.' He thought. 'This thing, this creature that lacks a heart. How is it that such an incomplete being could be so damn beautiful?'
"Hey, creeper." Roxas growled, waving his hand in front of Axel's face. "You're staring again."
Feeling his face flush, Axel turned away. "I was not." He grumbled, like a stubborn child. Roxas put a hand on his shoulder. "Yes you were. What's with that, anyway? Why are you always staring at me like that?" He asked, seriously. "There's… this weird look in your eye when you do. It's almost… sad."
"I told you." Axel replied, brushing his companion's hand away. "We can't feel sadness. We aren't human." "Don't feed me that bullshit!" Roxas retaliated, his voice rising. "You know as well as I do that there's something going on here! Why do I have these weird feelings whenever I see you? This longing, this pain… don't tell me that we can't feel!"
This reaction caught Axel off guard. He could merely stare at the blonde's angry face. "You…" He began to say, but trailed off. 'You feel it too…?' His mind finished. As much as he longed to say this aloud, he kept silent, and stood. "Axel." Called Roxas as the quiet redhead turned away. His tone was meager and soft, like a lost puppy. "Who knows?" Axel said, giving a shrug. And with that, he opened a portal and stepped in, giving a lazy wave as he vanished into the unknown.
Axel needed to cool his head. He was thoroughly confused now. Were these strange sensations actually feelings? It didn't make any sense. How was it possible that he could experience these "human emotions", when he was merely a half-human; a creature who lacked a soul, lacked a heart? Perhaps he should confide in Demyx… he seemed to be knowledgeable on the subject, not to mention that he was the only one in the entire organization who he could trust.
Annnnd that's as far as I got. Maybe someday I'll finish this up, as I had more planned, but we'll see. :3
