*** Hi ya'll. I'm trying really hard to finish "Who I Am", but I keep getting writer's block on it. Maybe I don't want it to end! Anyways, the song I use in this fic is "I've Been Loving You Too Long" by Otis Redding. I don't own the song, I don't own the WWF, I don't own much at all! I hope you like this...there's alternating points of view...I would tell you who the POVs are, but that would ruin the story. Enjoy! ***
// I've been loving you too long //
After you've loved someone for a long time, things change. I can look in his eyes and know things aren't like how they used to be. I can see that he needs a change. But I've loved him so long that I don't think I can change.
But the worst thing is that I'm not sure it's just change that he wants. I'm not sure I can give him what he wants, what he thinks he needs. I need him so much that it might be impossible to change how I feel about him. Because part of me knows that what he wants is to be free.
// To stop now //
My heart stopped the moment she said that she wanted to be free. I never thought things would get so bad that she would leave me. The problem is that she doesn't understand that I need her, I need to love her. If I could stop I would.
How do you stop loving someone who has become a habit, an addiction? I don't think there's any little gum you can chew. And when you have to see this person every day at work...how do you handle that? Is this why most companies frown on workplace romances? I just don't think I will be able to survive without her.
// You were tired and you want to be free //
"Lita," Matt said to me, his voice sounding tired. He sounded like he was going to say something that was painful and he didn't want to say it. But he had to.
"Yeah?" I asked.
"I don't know how to say this in a nice way...I think it's time for us to go our separate ways," Matt said. "I think that with everything between us, I don't want it to end badly."
"Who says it's going to end badly?" I asked, a silent tear falling from my eye.
"I already don't trust my brother around you baby," Matt said. "How can this possibly end well?"
// My love is going strong girl //
I look at her laughing with her friends. I never knew these people were her friends. But she seems to get along with them famously. But I see that she isn't the same person she always was around me. I see that's she holding back.
So I keep loving her. From a distance, hoping that some day she will come back to me and tell me that she really needed my love. I hope she can tell me our time apart was a mistake.
I hope she can realize how much she does love me. // As you've become a habit to me //
Matt seems to be doing just fine without me. He and Jeff get along much better, now that he's not worried about me betraying him. To his credit, he does try to keep our friendship on solid ground. I don't think he even realizes that my heart is lying on the ground bleeding every time I'm around him.
But I can't just drop him. He's been in my life so long that I don't even know how to be me without Matt. I know it's pathetic, but I think when you're in a relationship you do give up a part of yourself to be with that other person. I just need to find a way to get all of myself back. //I've been loving you a little too long //
I think my mistake was getting involved with her so soon after she broke up with her last boyfriend. They were great together. They were more alike than identical twins. I know she was really heartbroken when he broke up with her. I'm the shoulder she cried on.
Maybe she knows how I'm feeling right now. Like I've given her a piece of myself and I'm not complete without her and that piece of me. I just don't know how to get on without that woman. I really don't.
// I don't want to stop now //
"Matt," I said brokenly. I was standing about a hundred feet away from him and he was kissing Stacy Kiebler. I felt everything in me shrivel up and die. I had never felt so empty in my life.
Matt turned to me, hear my whimper. "Oh my God, Lita!"
I shook my head and turned around and ran, as far and as fast as I could. "Hey Red!" Kurt said, his arm shooting out to stop me. He saw my tears and a look of concern passed over his strong features. "What's wrong Lita?"
"Oh Kurt," I cried. "He's in love."
// With you my life Has been so wonderful //
I was the only person she felt like she could confide in after her breakup. All of her other friends were their friends. It was understandable that I would be the one she could talk to because my view of the situation wouldn't be tainted by multiple friendships.
Slowly, I began to like that she confided in me. We became best friends. Then we started dating. Then after nearly six months it was impossible for me to imagine my life without her. I think she never meant for any of it to go so far. I don't think she ever meant for me to fall in love with her.
// I can't stop now //
We've both had relationships since we've broken up. One day someone told me he was engaged and I just about died. I think a part of me always believed that he would come back to me, even after a year.
He stopped me one night and said, "I heard you and-"
"We broke up," I said quickly. "It was no big deal."
"I heard he really loved you," Matt said.
"He'll get over it," I said. "I think it's possible."
"God Lita," Matt said. "You didn't leave him because you're still not over what happened between us did you?"
"No," I said, somewhat uncertainly.
"You did," Matt said. "Lita, we're over. Don't throw away a great guy because you can't get out of the past."
// You were tired and your love is growing cold //
I didn't see any of the signs that she was going to leave me. I guess somewhere in my head I knew that things had changed between us, but I wasn't ready for the day that she said we were over.
I don't know if she ever loved me. I know she wouldn't say that she was. But I also think she's afraid of love now. I don't think she knows how to trust her heart anymore.
// My love is going strong girl //
"He just didn't compare to you," I said. "I don't know how to explain it Matt. I couldn't fall in love with him."
"You meant you wouldn't," Matt said. "Christ Lita, you didn't want to fall for me. You were afraid I would hurt you like every other guy you had ever been with. But he's freaking different."
"I heard you're getting married," I said, changing the subject.
"Yeah," Matt said. "because I could move on." // As our affair goes on I've been loving you a little too long //
Maybe it was my mistake to fall for her when she was on the rebound. Maybe I should have known that she would never take our relationship as seriously as I did.
Maybe to her, it was all fun.
The end isn't too fun.
// I don't want to stop now I've been loving you a little too long //
I stared at Matt's back as he walked away. He was mad at me because I still loved him. He didn't understand that I would always love him. It's not as strong now as it used to be, but it's there. It will always be there.
I don't know why he was so concerned about my love life. You would think most guys would like to have some girl eternally in love with them. I guess not.
But he said I was afraid of falling in love. Could he be right?
// I don't want to stop now And don't make me stop now //
"Hey," she said as she ran into me in the arena.
"Hi," I said, trying not to be overjoyed that she was talking to me.
"You want to go out for coffee after the show?" she asked.
"Sounds good," I said, trying to be nonchalant.
"Great," she said. "See you then."
// Oh baby I'm down on my knees //
I sat in a dingy little booth. There was a cup of steaming coffee in front of me. I don't know why he would give me another chance. All I ever did was whine about how Matt broke my heart. Our relationship was all about me, it was never about us.
Maybe taking a relationship seriously will help me get over Matt. I guess first I would have to see if there's still a relationship. He may have never loved me, even though he told me hundreds of times that he did.
// Please don't make me stop now I love you //
"Hey," I said, sliding into the booth across from her. "How are you doing?"
"I'm okay," she said, nodding her head. "How about you?"
"I've been worse," I said. "I miss having you around. I liked having someone I told everything to."
"I've missed you too," she said softly. There was a note of surprise in her voice, like she couldn't believe that she did miss me. "I think I made a mistake."
// I love you I love you with all my heart //
"You're my best friend you know," I said. I looked into my cup of coffee. I hadn't really ever thought about how big a part of my life he was. I was so overly concerned with what I thought love should be like to realize love wasn't always the same. "Probably the best person I know."
"Really?" he asked. "You never said that before."
"I never said a lot before," I said. "Maybe because I was too wrapped up in myself to realize that you were in front of me the whole time, really loving me."
"Did you think I didn't love you?" he asked.
"No," I said, "I just thought it was different from the other loves I had known. Maybe that was why I wrote it off. Maybe that's why I let go of a guy that I loved."
"Who did you love?" he asked.
// Please don't make me start now //
"I loved you," she said. "I love you. I just didn't know it was love."
"How could you not know it was love?" I asked.
"Because it was so much more solid than what I had with Matt," she said. "I knew it would always be there, so I took it for granted. I guess I thought you couldn't take real love for granted."
"You can take anything for granted," I said.
"I don't want to take you for granted anymore," Lita said. "If you'll still have me, I would like us to try again."
I looked at her, not believing everything I had hoped for was coming true. "Yeah, of course I'll have you."
Tears filled her eyes. She grabbed my hand. "I love you Kurt."
*** So? What did you think? I know I keep breaking up Matt and Lita (I do have a fic where they stay together though!), but I do like them...I promise! Anyways, please review! Thanks! ***
// I've been loving you too long //
After you've loved someone for a long time, things change. I can look in his eyes and know things aren't like how they used to be. I can see that he needs a change. But I've loved him so long that I don't think I can change.
But the worst thing is that I'm not sure it's just change that he wants. I'm not sure I can give him what he wants, what he thinks he needs. I need him so much that it might be impossible to change how I feel about him. Because part of me knows that what he wants is to be free.
// To stop now //
My heart stopped the moment she said that she wanted to be free. I never thought things would get so bad that she would leave me. The problem is that she doesn't understand that I need her, I need to love her. If I could stop I would.
How do you stop loving someone who has become a habit, an addiction? I don't think there's any little gum you can chew. And when you have to see this person every day at work...how do you handle that? Is this why most companies frown on workplace romances? I just don't think I will be able to survive without her.
// You were tired and you want to be free //
"Lita," Matt said to me, his voice sounding tired. He sounded like he was going to say something that was painful and he didn't want to say it. But he had to.
"Yeah?" I asked.
"I don't know how to say this in a nice way...I think it's time for us to go our separate ways," Matt said. "I think that with everything between us, I don't want it to end badly."
"Who says it's going to end badly?" I asked, a silent tear falling from my eye.
"I already don't trust my brother around you baby," Matt said. "How can this possibly end well?"
// My love is going strong girl //
I look at her laughing with her friends. I never knew these people were her friends. But she seems to get along with them famously. But I see that she isn't the same person she always was around me. I see that's she holding back.
So I keep loving her. From a distance, hoping that some day she will come back to me and tell me that she really needed my love. I hope she can tell me our time apart was a mistake.
I hope she can realize how much she does love me. // As you've become a habit to me //
Matt seems to be doing just fine without me. He and Jeff get along much better, now that he's not worried about me betraying him. To his credit, he does try to keep our friendship on solid ground. I don't think he even realizes that my heart is lying on the ground bleeding every time I'm around him.
But I can't just drop him. He's been in my life so long that I don't even know how to be me without Matt. I know it's pathetic, but I think when you're in a relationship you do give up a part of yourself to be with that other person. I just need to find a way to get all of myself back. //I've been loving you a little too long //
I think my mistake was getting involved with her so soon after she broke up with her last boyfriend. They were great together. They were more alike than identical twins. I know she was really heartbroken when he broke up with her. I'm the shoulder she cried on.
Maybe she knows how I'm feeling right now. Like I've given her a piece of myself and I'm not complete without her and that piece of me. I just don't know how to get on without that woman. I really don't.
// I don't want to stop now //
"Matt," I said brokenly. I was standing about a hundred feet away from him and he was kissing Stacy Kiebler. I felt everything in me shrivel up and die. I had never felt so empty in my life.
Matt turned to me, hear my whimper. "Oh my God, Lita!"
I shook my head and turned around and ran, as far and as fast as I could. "Hey Red!" Kurt said, his arm shooting out to stop me. He saw my tears and a look of concern passed over his strong features. "What's wrong Lita?"
"Oh Kurt," I cried. "He's in love."
// With you my life Has been so wonderful //
I was the only person she felt like she could confide in after her breakup. All of her other friends were their friends. It was understandable that I would be the one she could talk to because my view of the situation wouldn't be tainted by multiple friendships.
Slowly, I began to like that she confided in me. We became best friends. Then we started dating. Then after nearly six months it was impossible for me to imagine my life without her. I think she never meant for any of it to go so far. I don't think she ever meant for me to fall in love with her.
// I can't stop now //
We've both had relationships since we've broken up. One day someone told me he was engaged and I just about died. I think a part of me always believed that he would come back to me, even after a year.
He stopped me one night and said, "I heard you and-"
"We broke up," I said quickly. "It was no big deal."
"I heard he really loved you," Matt said.
"He'll get over it," I said. "I think it's possible."
"God Lita," Matt said. "You didn't leave him because you're still not over what happened between us did you?"
"No," I said, somewhat uncertainly.
"You did," Matt said. "Lita, we're over. Don't throw away a great guy because you can't get out of the past."
// You were tired and your love is growing cold //
I didn't see any of the signs that she was going to leave me. I guess somewhere in my head I knew that things had changed between us, but I wasn't ready for the day that she said we were over.
I don't know if she ever loved me. I know she wouldn't say that she was. But I also think she's afraid of love now. I don't think she knows how to trust her heart anymore.
// My love is going strong girl //
"He just didn't compare to you," I said. "I don't know how to explain it Matt. I couldn't fall in love with him."
"You meant you wouldn't," Matt said. "Christ Lita, you didn't want to fall for me. You were afraid I would hurt you like every other guy you had ever been with. But he's freaking different."
"I heard you're getting married," I said, changing the subject.
"Yeah," Matt said. "because I could move on." // As our affair goes on I've been loving you a little too long //
Maybe it was my mistake to fall for her when she was on the rebound. Maybe I should have known that she would never take our relationship as seriously as I did.
Maybe to her, it was all fun.
The end isn't too fun.
// I don't want to stop now I've been loving you a little too long //
I stared at Matt's back as he walked away. He was mad at me because I still loved him. He didn't understand that I would always love him. It's not as strong now as it used to be, but it's there. It will always be there.
I don't know why he was so concerned about my love life. You would think most guys would like to have some girl eternally in love with them. I guess not.
But he said I was afraid of falling in love. Could he be right?
// I don't want to stop now And don't make me stop now //
"Hey," she said as she ran into me in the arena.
"Hi," I said, trying not to be overjoyed that she was talking to me.
"You want to go out for coffee after the show?" she asked.
"Sounds good," I said, trying to be nonchalant.
"Great," she said. "See you then."
// Oh baby I'm down on my knees //
I sat in a dingy little booth. There was a cup of steaming coffee in front of me. I don't know why he would give me another chance. All I ever did was whine about how Matt broke my heart. Our relationship was all about me, it was never about us.
Maybe taking a relationship seriously will help me get over Matt. I guess first I would have to see if there's still a relationship. He may have never loved me, even though he told me hundreds of times that he did.
// Please don't make me stop now I love you //
"Hey," I said, sliding into the booth across from her. "How are you doing?"
"I'm okay," she said, nodding her head. "How about you?"
"I've been worse," I said. "I miss having you around. I liked having someone I told everything to."
"I've missed you too," she said softly. There was a note of surprise in her voice, like she couldn't believe that she did miss me. "I think I made a mistake."
// I love you I love you with all my heart //
"You're my best friend you know," I said. I looked into my cup of coffee. I hadn't really ever thought about how big a part of my life he was. I was so overly concerned with what I thought love should be like to realize love wasn't always the same. "Probably the best person I know."
"Really?" he asked. "You never said that before."
"I never said a lot before," I said. "Maybe because I was too wrapped up in myself to realize that you were in front of me the whole time, really loving me."
"Did you think I didn't love you?" he asked.
"No," I said, "I just thought it was different from the other loves I had known. Maybe that was why I wrote it off. Maybe that's why I let go of a guy that I loved."
"Who did you love?" he asked.
// Please don't make me start now //
"I loved you," she said. "I love you. I just didn't know it was love."
"How could you not know it was love?" I asked.
"Because it was so much more solid than what I had with Matt," she said. "I knew it would always be there, so I took it for granted. I guess I thought you couldn't take real love for granted."
"You can take anything for granted," I said.
"I don't want to take you for granted anymore," Lita said. "If you'll still have me, I would like us to try again."
I looked at her, not believing everything I had hoped for was coming true. "Yeah, of course I'll have you."
Tears filled her eyes. She grabbed my hand. "I love you Kurt."
*** So? What did you think? I know I keep breaking up Matt and Lita (I do have a fic where they stay together though!), but I do like them...I promise! Anyways, please review! Thanks! ***