Disclaimer: I own nothing.
The Vampire's Sacrifice
A gust of wind blows through the crack in the window that you have left ajar. Lying in your arms, she shivers in her sleep, while you barely noticed the cold sweeping over the room. A few strands of her gorgeous brunet hair scatter in the breeze and come to rest on her cheek. As you brush them off, you hold onto her sleeping body a little tighter, aware of how much she means to you. Your mind flits between the many memories you have of the two of you, together in blissful young love…
Forcing yourself to come back to reality, you understand now that this was never right. You were never right for her. Just the simple fact that you cannot even feel the cold that is causing her to tremble in your arms… you are not natural. You should have died a hundred years ago, and you do not belong here, muddling fate, destroying lives.
This can never happen again. How can you justify being glad that this time, your brother did not rip the love of your life to shreds? What will you say the next time someone slips, and the rest of your family is not around to protect her? How could you say that you love her if you continue putting her in danger?
You know that you should have never have let it go this far. As soon as you realized how you felt about her, and how she felt about you, you should have packed up and left the country at once. So what if it would have been easier for you to have a few limbs removed? Her welfare and happiness is paramount. You knew this, so you planned never to interact with her at all. Of course, that plan never worked… how could you have expected it too? Did you really have that much confidence in your own self-control? You knew that your mere existence in the same town was a huge danger to her, and you told yourself so. Yet, you stayed, for your own selfish reasons.
What is right and what is wrong, anyway? You always thought you were so pure, just because you do not drink human blood. Yet, this is the worst crime of all, and here you are committing it day after day after day! The one person who means the world to you is the one person who you are willing to thrust relentlessly into the most horrifying dangers.
This is WRONG, you tell yourself repeatedly. I am hurting her, even though she does not realize it.
You know that the only way to fix this is to cut her out of your life forever. It will be the most difficult, sickening thing you have every done. You are positive that she will hate you for it, but that is the whole point. She must. She can never know the Hell of what you are going through, because unless she truly believes that you do not love her anymore, she will not be able to get over you. You will have to do the one thing you swore never to do – you will consciously hurt her, more than she has ever been hurt before.
You do not know how you will manage to go through with it. You know that the minute she begins to doubt you, you will be seized by an overwhelming urge to hug her and kiss her and reassure her that you love her more than life itself and you will never leave. All you want out of life is to be with her, but that is the one thing you cannot have. It will be torture, but you know what you must do. You are doing it for her, and she is the reason you are alive.
As you gaze down at the peaceful form wrapped within your stone-like arms, it becomes clear. The only thing that is more important to you than being with her and knowing that she loves you almost as much as you love her is knowing that she is safe and happy. She may say that she is happy now, and she may honestly believe that she wants to be with you, but the time has come for you to admit that your presence will wound her beyond repair in the end. She is mortal; she will learn to move on and find new love for herself with someone who can give her what she needs. She does not belong with you, regardless of the fact that you feel as if she is a part of you. She is human, and you are not. The time has come for you to let her be human. Since you met her, you have only acted on what is best for you. Now you must do the most difficult thing in the world, and do what is best for someone else.
As time goes on, she will get over you; humans heal. And you? Well, you were never that important anyway. You will live out the rest of her life in agony, and by checking in on her through Alice's visions, you will be confident that she is safe. That was all that ever really mattered. As soon as you met her, you discovered that your entire life's purpose was to meet this extraordinary woman and take care of her. You will do that in the only way that you can, and when it comes time for her to die, you will see to it that you do as well.
AN: When I read New Moon, I spent the entire book hating Edward. I could not understand how he could possibly have abandoned Bella, especially at the time when she needed him the most. Of course, I was sure that he would come back eventually, because what's Twilight without Edward? :-) Even so, throughout the entire book, I was absolutely furious with him, and I still have not forgiven him for how much he hurt her, even after we have discovered why he did it.
In any event, I wrote this fic in hopes that I could convince myself not to hate him anymore, by showing his side. It has not quite worked, because I will never condone what he did to her, but I do believe that he has always truly loved her. As misguided as he was, he did somehow believe that he was doing the right thing.
Please review and tell me your opinions! I meant to make this fic longer, but sort of got writer's block or something, so please let me know if you have any suggestions for additions or changes. Thanks for reading!